Whispers At Night.

I flop down onto my bed and crash my head on the pillow, groaning loudly.

“Jess, honey?” My mum calls from outside my door, knocking lightly. I tell her to come in, then realise that my face is still buried in my pillow. I blush, cursing to myself afterwards for being so damn stupid.

I lift my head a fraction off of my pillow. “Yeah, mum?” I lay my head back down, face into the soft pillow, as I hear her enter.

“Honey, do you mean it?”

“Do I mean what, mum?” I mumble, the pillow making my voice muffled. I hear her sigh and feel the bed shift as she sits down on the edge.

“Do you really want me to ask him to come back?” She barely whispering, and I know she’s trying not to cry - but so am I. Of course I want him back! Despite how horrible I was to him, he really does mean everything to me. I miss him everyday. He’s always on my mind. He was my best friend; is my best friend. I even want to get to know the guy he bought with him, I bet he’s lovely - just like Ivan is. Plus, everyone here loves him - we all just love him. He’s always been the happy, charismatic, bubbly person that choose me as his best friend. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I guess I could say it was ‘the first day of the rest of my life’... But then again, he left, didn’t he?

“Yes, no, maybe… I don’t know!” I half-shout into my pillow in frustration.

“Are you just saying that because it sounds good, Jessy?” I hear the amusement seeping back into her voice and I roll my eyes slightly, even though she can’t see. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, I can see through your head you know, honey.” I groan and grab the edges of my pillow and roll the thing around my head. I hear her sigh as she gets up. “I’ll give him a call.”

*

“Mark! Get the fuck out!” I screech as Mark jumps on top of me, me still under my duvet, nicely curled up in bed, face now squashed into the pillow.

“No! I’m too happy. I need to annoy you with my eternal thanks!” He almost squeals, and I manage to turn my body round underneath him to shoot him a concerned face. He pokes his tongue out at me as I raise one eyebrow at his sudden excitement. He rolls his eyes, “Like you even have to ask why I love you so suddenly!”

“There has to be a reason? What ever happen to unconditional love, Mark?” I question and he giggles lightly. Seriously, what the hell is up with him?

“I just love you, silly!” He giggles again - he’s really starting to scare me now… - and pokes the end of my nose, causing me to scrunch my face up in surprise. As my eyes are closed for that split second, he flops his head down onto my shoulder and attempts to shove his arms under my body to engross me in a hug. “Thank you so fucking much, Jessy. Really, I mean it; thank you.” He mumbles into my shoulder and I finally grasp what he means. I rest my head on the top of his and lift my arms to wrap around his shoulders.

“No need to thank me, Marky. I was stupid, it just took me longer to realise than the rest of you.” I mumble in reply and he squeezes me tighter in a silent response.

*

I run down the stairs two at a time in order to reach the front door before anyone else. Just as I reach the bottom, I see Mark reach out to open the door and I leap at him, screaming slightly. I land on his right shoulder at an awkward angle, my legs wrapped around his waist, and we both fall to a heap on the floor.

“Jess, what the fuck?” He groans, trying to push me off. I shake my head in response and he pinches my side.

“Fuck! Mark! That really hurt!” I squeal, and pout at him. He rolls his eyes. We both turn our attention to the door as it’s swung open by our dad and my mouth falls open in shock. “Dad!” I whine and looks at me.

“What?” He asks simply, confused by my weird behaviour.

“I wanted to open the door!” I whine again and he laughs at me.

Mark laughs too. “Is that why you tackled me to the ground and screamed like a banshee?” I shoot him a glare as I remove myself from laying awkwardly around him on the floor and stand up. My dad continues to laugh at me as I stand straight and casually brush down my clothes, smoothing out my hair directly afterwards.

“Err… I guess I should feel loved?” A slightly out-of-place voice says awkwardly in the background and I squeak.

I turn around slightly and skip quickly to the door, “Ivan!” I exclaim and grab him into a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck as I bury my face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry.” I mumble. “Fuck. I’m really sorry, I missed you so much.” He wraps his arms equally as tight around my waist as I breathe in his scent. All this time, and it still hasn’t changed one bit. And then I burst into tears, my face still planted firmly in the crook of his neck.

I guess it’s true what they say: Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Because, fuck, I’ve missed Ivan so much, and I only love him more now than I did then.

“As much as I love you two being friends again, it’s getting bloody freezing in here and it’d be nice to shut the door.” My dad says and I can’t help but let a small giggle pass through my lips.

I remove my face from Ivan’s neck and wipe at my eyes roughly, trying to erase all traces of tears that are still there. I look up at him and see him looking at me too, smiling shyly as his hand reaches out to grab mine. I take his hand in mine quickly and he pulls me close to his side. I smile gratefully and snuggle into his side as my dad pushes the door back into it’s place quietly.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Ivan bend down slightly to put his lips next to my ear. “I’ve missed you too, Jessy-bear.” He whispers and kisses just behind my ear softly, almost as if I’d imagined it ever happening at all.