A Second Reality.

The cafeteria at the venue in Savanna, Georgia was bustling with people. Crewmembers lined up in front of the buffet, they splashed mashed potatoes and pieces of fried chicken onto their plates as they walked threw the line. I clutched onto my iced tea as I examined the room trying to find a place to sit. Suddenly, Emelia’s blond hair caught my eye. She was sitting in the center of the room along side Kevin and Joe. Right away, I walked straight towards the empty chair next to Kevin.

“Hey how was the audition!” I asked Emelia as I pulled out the chair from under the table.

“It was good.” She answered nonchalantly as she watched me sit down next to Kevin.

“Well that’s good,” I enthusiastically told her. “I want to hear all about it.” I grinned at Emelia then at the two boys sitting at the table.

Emelia opened her mouth to speak but before she could Kevin quickly butted in. “Wait, wait, wait. They asked you if you were dating Joe?” He raised his eyebrows astonished by this.

“Yeah it was weird.” Emelia said to him, she glanced at Joe before going on. “They made it seem like it was written on my resume or something. It was annoying.” Emelia shook her head as she recalled her audition.

“That’s weird. Did you at least sing well?” I asked her causing a smile to bounce back onto her face.

“Yes I did!” She announced the tone in her voice switched to be more joyful. “Miley gave me some great advice!”

“What did she tell you?” Joe asked very curious.

Emelia went on revealing everything about her audition and Miley’s coaching. But something in the corner of my eye drew my attention away from her. I spotted Nick and Miley walking into the room. They were laughing and smiling at each other while grabbing plates and making their way through the buffet line. As I sat there watching them a loud thumbing noise rang throughout my eardrums. The feeling of jealousy splattered throughout my vanes. Everything that Emelia, Joe, and Kevin were saying had seemed as though it was fading out into the distance.

Nick handed Miley a roll before they walked towards a table in the far corner. I caught Nick glancing down towards Miley’s ass as she led him towards their spot. While watching this, another spark sprang throughout my fingertips. The pair sat down only a few inches apart still smiling brightly towards one and another. Nick leaned into Miley’s ear whispering something causing her mouth dropped open. Playfully, she hit Nick against the shoulder causing his cheeks to turn a bright shade of pink. Their body language made it obvious that they were flirting.

For some reason, I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off of them. I felt as though my vision was stuck focusing on Miley as she placed her polished hands onto the gray tabletop. I watched covetously as Nick tenderly put his hand next to her. Slowly he moved his hand closer and closer until his pinky rested upon hers. Realizing this Miley glanced down at her hand then up at Nick, her cheeks flushed. I shook my head vigorously at them. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

“Alison, what are you staring at?” I heard Emelia ask. My eyes instantly feel towards the center of the table to see all three of them staring at me.

“Nothing.” I quickly spoke out before looking back down at my food.

“Oh god Nick.” Emelia blurted out. She rolled her eyes while glaring at Nick and Miley in the corner. It seemed as though Emelia knew exactly what had fixed my attention.

I flung my head back around to see Miley slowly moving her chair even closer to Nick. As she did this he leaned back placing an arm around the top of her chair. He made it seem as though it was no big deal and that they were just hanging out; however, everyone else knew the real story.

“I don’t know what he is doing.” Joe said with a confused look on his face. “He has a girlfriend. He can’t be juggling three…” The moment Joe spoke this he glanced towards me. “…uh…two girls.” He corrected himself.

“Are things going that bad between him and Olivia?” Kevin asked rolling his eyes as Miley flirtatiously placed her hand upon Nicks arm.

“Oh yeah.” Emelia added with enthuses. “Olivia is just being really stupid and annoying lately.” Kevin, Joe and I all spun towards her surprised she had said this about her best friend. “Well she has!” She shouted glancing at each one of our faces. “It’s getting annoying.”

Just as Emelia spoke this, I saw Olivia step through the door. She instantly froze when she caught a glimpse of Nick and Miley sitting in the corner. I wondered if she had felt the same way I did when I first saw them. The instant unease feeling inside the pit of your stomach as you watch the boy you like flirt with another girl. Olivia’s face slowly began to drop. From far away I could see a tear form in the corner of her eye. She shook her head back and forth before running out the door.

Unexpectedly, I shot up from my chair and ran after her. Everything in my brain was telling me not to follow her. But for some reason my legs kept on running.

“Olivia wait!” I shouted after her as I exited the room. She didn’t even look back; she just continued to run towards the backstage door. “Olivia! Stop!” I shouted after her once again. Surprisingly, she slowed down right before she hit the doorway. Exhausted, Olivia leaned over placing her hands upon her knees panting heavily.

“What do you want?!” She shouted just as thick tears began to stream down her face.

“I just wanted to see if you were ok.” I told her taking a few cautious steps towards her. Seeing this, Olivia directly took two steps back.

“I’m fine.” She demanded.

“Olivia, I’m sorry.” I tried to tell Olivia. It was obvious that she wasn’t listening to me.

“Just leave me alone!” She snapped angrily her tears falling harder and harder. “And while you are at it leave my boyfriend alone!” My face flushed hearing this. I could feel my heart ache as I thought about not being able to talk to Nick ever again. Olivia took in a long deep breath before going on. “Then tell that…that…” She stammered behind her tears trying to find the right words to use. “SLUT” She shouted loud enough for the word to bounce against the cement walls. “To get her hands off of my boyfriend!” She gave me a furious glare then threw open the doors escaping into the hot Georgia sun.

As the door slammed behind her I couldn’t help but just stand there. Every bone in my body was shaking and I couldn’t seem to move. Olivia had every right to be upset and act the way she did. I knew seeing the way Nick looked at Miley must have turned her stomach inside out as much as it did mine. I turned my back towards the thick cement wall as I threw my hands in front of my face. I now felt officially awful for feeling the way I do for Nick. I couldn’t help but feel angry with myself and even more so angry with him.

“Hey Allison!” I heard a cheerful voice shout from down the hallway. I looked up to see Nick making his way towards me. A bright smile beamed upon his face. He was most likely the last person I wanted to see right now. I didn’t wave back. I just stood there staring at him as he got closer and closer.

A confused look popped up onto his face as he finally reached me. “Are you ok?” he asked placing a hand upon my arm. As he did this I couldn’t help but feel sparks shooting up through my bloodstream.

“Nick what are you doing?” I asked him trying to shake away the amazing feeling of his touch.

“What are you taking about?” He asked completely oblivious at what had just happened a few moments ago with Olivia.

“What are you doing with Miley?” I restated. Everything inside of me ached at the thought of this. I didn’t really want to know what was going on. I wish I could just ignore it. But then Olivia’s sad face popped into my mind.

Nick’s eyes softened as he searched for an answer. “I don’t know.” He softly stated. He took his hand off of my shoulder and placed it behind his head shaking his curls nervously. “I honestly…” He began his words were confused. It had seemed as though every answer he tried to put together wouldn’t have made any sense.

I didn’t want to hear anymore. All I could say to him was, “Nick, you need to check on your girlfriend.” Nicks eyes instantly got wider when I told him his. He seemed shocked and perplexed. “Olivia saw you flirting with Miley.” I told him. His mouth quickly fell towards the ground.

“I wasn’t flirting.” He flatly told me. I raised an eyebrow obviously not believing him. “I was just…” He began trying to find the words to explain what had happen.

“Nick, just go find her.” I told him pointing towards the door. He nodded his head before he slammed through to the outside trying to find Olivia.

As the thick blue doors came crashing into me once again I instantly slid down to the pavement. Tears began to flow from my face. I had felt awful for the feelings I have for Nick. But I felt even more awful about seeing him with both Miley and Olivia. I was envious on the way he looked into their eyes and the smile that popped onto his face whenever one of them would come into a room. My heart fell deeper and deeper into my stomach as I realized that Nick would never be mine.

*********

It took a few minutes for me to calm myself down before I could go back to where Kevin, Joe, and Emelia were. However, by the time I returned everyone had to get ready for the show. I spent a half an hour sitting in the corner of the hallway intertwined within my thoughts. I felt as though I was a mixture of emotions, unsure of what exactly I was supposed to be feeling. In my hand I tightly held on to a picture that I drew of my mom. I would give anything if I could talk to her. She was always the best at giving me advice. I felt as though I needed her now more then ever.

A flash of a large group of people buzzed past me. I saw Nick, Kevin, and Joe in the middle as they made their way towards the stage. I knew it was show time. I shoved the drawing into my pocket right before I stood up to follow them down the hallway.

The crowd went wild when the Jonas Brothers entered the stage. The boys spun around, twisting and turning throwing everything they had into the performance. I stood at the side of the backstage my arms cross just watching them. My eyes landed upon Olivia who was standing on the opposite side of the stage. On the surface it had seemed as though her and Nick had patched things up. They would ketch glimpses of each other smiling back and forth. But the second Nick turned back towards the crowd Olivia’s face fell. Everything within her features seemed depressing as she watched her boyfriend spin on stage.

“They are seriously amazing.” I heard Miley’s voice come from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see her walking up next to me.

I nodded my head in agreement as I focused back towards the stage. I saw Olivia’s reaction to seeing Miley next to me. Her face was beating red as she narrowed her eyes in our direction. I could feel the tension build in between the two sides of the stage.

“They are all sexy too!” Miley added, shouting above the noise. I watched as Joe did a jump landing right in front of Emelia. He blew her a kiss then spun back towards the crowd. “Emelia is a lucky girl.” Miley stated just as Emelia began to rock out in her solo.

“So is Olivia.” I blurted out with more meaning then what Miley had realized. I couldn’t help but peek at Olivia to see her smiling again at Nick.

“I know right!” Miley replied, not fully understanding what I had meant.

I looked up at her face to see her staring at Nick. The beam in her eyes told me that she too had feelings for him. I could feel pressure build up in my stomach as I watched her. Standing here was beginning to be too much for me to bear.

******

“That jump was crazy Joe!” Kevin shouted from the center of a u-shaped leather couch that wrapped around the back end of the tour bus.

The show had ended a few moments ago and we were now all crammed into the bus waiting to take off for the next stop. On the far left end Emelia and Joe were cuddled together with Joes muscular arm wrapped around her waist. Miley sat on the other side of Emelia giving Nick small glances whenever Olivia wasn’t looking.

“I agree!” Miley shouted on top of everyone. “Kevin that dance you did during ‘S.O.S.’ was hilarious!” She said as everyone went into a fit of laughter.

I sat there in between Nick and Miley softly sketching in my notebook. Everyone was excited and yelling on top of one and another. I just sat there silent and just drawing. I lifted my head from the paper seeing Nick wrap his arm around Olivia’s shoulders. He kissed her forehead as she nuzzled into his chest. I could feel the friction between the two sides of me as Nick and Miley glanced at one another again. Annoyed by this, I stood up without a word. Carefully, I made my way towards my bunk. No one had noticed I had even left.

Lifting myself into my bunk, I slid right in. It was tight fit. I could barley sit up straight before bumping my head against the ceiling. Once I got myself situated I flipped open my sketchbook to the page I had been working on. I tore the picture that I had been drawing out of the book and searched around my wall to find a spot to stick it up. The cream wall was filled with pictures, drawings, and random things that I had collected from tour. Glancing it over a second time I found a perfect spot right next to a picture of Nick and I that we had taken on his Mac. I couldn’t help but stare at the image for a moment. Nick had one arm tucked neatly around my waist. His forehead gently touching mine as we both smiled into the camera. We both looked so happy. But then Olivia’s face popped into my mind. I couldn’t help but shake my head in order to wipe off the smile on my face. I glanced down at my hands once again staring at the drawing. Just as I pinned it onto the wall footsteps come towards my bunk. Before I knew it Kevin face appeared in front of me. Standing up tall I could see his head along with a good portion of his shoulders.

“Hey is everything ok?” He asked glancing towards the drawing of a broken heart that I had just put up.

“I’m ok.” I lied twisting my blanket within my fingers.

He lowered his eyes to me. “Nick is just being stupid.” He said as if he could see right through me. “One day he will figure it out.” He smiled, his freckles popping. I just glanced at him with a tiny uncertain grin on my face.

“I just don’t understand why he is acting so stupid right now. He’s almost acting like a tool. It’s not like him.” I rolled my eyes thinking of how he looks at Miley when Olivia is around.

Kevin let out a small laugh before saying, “It’s called puberty and hormones.” I lifted my eyes telling him that, that wasn’t funny. He instantly stopped laughing, his face dropped. “I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. Be happy you aren’t Miley or Olivia right now.”

I sighed lowering my eyes. “I know.” I spoke out but the truth was I did wish I were one of them.

“I have a feeling…” Kevin began to say but automatically paused. He moved his eyes towards the back end of the bus. He then grinned before lining them back with mine. “Allison, just don’t give up hope.” He said with a small smirk before walking away from my bunk.