Love Will Never Ever Let Us Fall Apart

"Beth, John, I'm so sorry," she sighed. "One of your children doesn't have a heartbeat,"

Beth gasped and tears started to well up in her eyes.

"We need to take you to the operating room to undergo surgery. The deceased fetus could be deadly to the living one," she explained.

I felt tears in my own eyes.

This can't be happening. Just a few weeks ago we found out we were having twins and now, it's not true? No this is a mistake.

"Are you sure?" I choked out.

"Yes. I'm so sorry but one of your twins is dead," she frowned. "Are there any questions you have before we operate?"

"No. Just get it over with," Beth hiccuped.

I wrapped my arms around her and she cried harder.

"I'm sorry Beth, I have no idea why this happened. At your last ultrasound both babies were perfectly healthy," Dr. Harmon said.

"Just do it now please," she sobbed.

The doctor nodded and got Beth ready for surgery.

I stood at her bedside holding her hand through everything and telling her I loved her. I could no longer tell her everything was going to be alright.

They gave her Anesthesia and she started counting down from one hundred. She was unconscious by ninety.

I sulked back to the waiting room and turned my phone off. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone. I let the tears fall freely down my face. I was keeping them in for Beth's sake, but I couldn't hold back anymore.

The hot streams started pouring down my face. I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried.

How could I let this happen to my child? And the woman who was carrying it.

After all my tears had dried a surgeon came through the door and I looked up at him.

"Mr. O'Callaghan?" He asked me.

"Yes, is Beth okay? And the baby?" I questioned painfully.

"They're both fine. We removed the deceased child and nothing seemed to be wrong in its surroundings, so it must have been a heart defect. That's very common in the first trimester. But everything is fine with the second child," he explained.

"Thank you," I nodded.

"I'm sorry that this happened. You can go see her now," he said leading me to her room. "She's on painkillers right now, but they should wear off in a little while," he told me.

When he left I walked over to her bed. She looked pale and weak.

"Bee?" I croaked.

"Hmm?" She murmured.

"Everything is fine. We're gonna make it through this together. Me and you," I told her, squeezing her hand.

"One of our kids is gone, John. And it's my fault," she slurred as tears started to run down her white cheeks.

"It's not your fault. Everything happens for a reason. We just weren't meant to have twins right now," I said trying to calm her down, but realizing that tears were coming back into my own eyes. I blinked them back. I needed to be strong for Beth.

"Why?" She sobbed.

"I don't know, sweetheart. I don't know," I choked out.

"It's not fair, John," she cried.

"I know it isn't, Bethy," I mumbled. I crawled into her bed next to her and held her tightly.

I don't know how long she stayed like that before a nurse came in to check on her.

I got to take her home that day which was good because I don't know if I could spend the night without her.

I walked her into the bedroom and she laid down on the bed.

"Is there anything you need?" I asked her quietly.

"Can you just lay with me?" She asked.

I didn't respond. I just crawled into bed and pulled the covers over us and held her close to my body.

I know sometimes
People say it'll be alright
But I have to think
It's not that way in her mind

Those familiar lyrics kept swirling around my brain.

"I love you Beth. I'm going to get us through this, I promise," I whispered.
"I love you so much John. I'm so sorry," she whispered back.

"Don't apologize. This isn't your fault. Nobody could have prevented this. It just happened," I told her.

She just nodded and buried her head further into my chest.

"We're gonna be okay. I love you so much," I kept repeating as she fell asleep.

It wasn't long until I fell asleep too.

I woke up disoriented and checked my phone. It was almost three in the morning. I looked around and Beth wasn't next to me.

I panicked and bolted out of the room. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard sobbing coming from the kitchen.

"I'm sorry that this happened. I know that you and your brother or sister were probably getting close in there," I heard Beth cry.

I peeked around the corner and saw her sitting on the kitchen floor looking down at her stomach.

"I know your dad was really excited for the both of you. But don't worry, he loved you both the same and he's not any less excited now that there's just one of you," she went on. "You know, Elvis had a twin that died too. Maybe you'll be the next Elvis,"

Her rambling was breaking my heart more and more every second.

As devastated as I was over this, I can't imagine how she felt. It was attached to her. She had been living with it for almost four months.

"But look on the bright side, now I can't dress you two alike which probably would have bugged the shit out of you anyway. And you'll get all our love. Me and your dad both have a lot of love. Although he won't admit it, I think I really let him down," she sobbed.