Just Another Reason I Could Never Forget You

It’s only nine o’clock in the morning and I already want the day to be over. It’s Wednesday, the day of Belle’s funeral, yet here I am stuck at school. My mom caught me trying to sneak out of the house last night to go to Baltimore and wanted to ground me. She almost did before she thought about how hard it must be for me to not be able to go to my best friend’s funeral. I had watched the pity fill her eyes until the tears started falling. She was crying for me as if I was the one who had died and all because I was trying my hardest to go say goodbye to my friend. The two of us had sat up for a good portion of the night just talking about our many shared memories of Belle and how many times me, Belle and Nichole had gotten in trouble. The three of us alone were bad enough, but when we were together, we always seemed to get into more trouble. I loved both of the girls like my sisters and I felt like a piece of my soul had died with Belle.

“Miss Henderson? Are you paying attention? Miss Henderson!”

“Sorry Mrs. Bartels, I spaced out.”

“You’ve been doing that an awful lot lately. Maybe you should go see the assistant principal,” she said. Except it was more of an order than a suggestion and that pissed me off. Who did she think she was to tell me to go see the assistant principal because I had been spacing out in class? It’s not like I was failing or anything. Hell, I had one of the highest grades in her class, yet she still found ways to pick on me. I had known from day one that me and her weren’t ever going to see eye to eye.

“You’re right, I think I should, because I’m getting sick of you always picking on me. I have one of the highest grades in this class, yet you still zero in on me because I haven’t been paying attention? Well, I’m so damn sorry that I happened to lose my best friend to a fucking gun shoot-out. I’m sorry that I feel like a horrible friend to her because I can’t even go to her goddamn funeral? You know why? Because I’m stuck in this stupid building with stupid people like you, who can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I’m not okay right now. I’ve been in my room crying for days and the only people who have seemed to care are all sitting in the back of the room thinking about how I finally exploded. They’ve all known it was coming for days, but they’ve been quietly watching and waiting. They’re the only ones who fucking care,” I hissed before I grabbed my things and stormed out of the classroom. The door slammed behind me and I could see the teachers from the surrounding classrooms looking out to see what was going on. I kept my head up even as the tears ran down my face because who was there for me to hide them from. I felt no shame in letting my peers see me cry because it took a hell of a lot more courage to cry in front of them than it did to hold in the tears.

Mr. McGinty was waiting for me when I walked into the AP office, a sad smile on his face. I followed him into his office and sat down in the chair before turning to stare out the window. He didn’t say anything at first, just silently offered me the box of tissue, which I gladly accepted. I wiped away some of the tears that were running down my face before grabbing another tissue and wiping my nose. I knew for a fact that I was not a pretty sight, no girl was when she was crying. Mr. McGinty sat down behind his desk and clasped his hands together, resting his chin on top, as he stared at me. He was waiting for me to finish before beginning his lecture. I gave a small nod to indicate I was fine and he gave me another small smile.

“Jericha, you know as well as I do that I can’t let you leave here without some kind of punishment. I understand that you’ve been going through a hard time this past week and I’m sorry. It’s hard losing somebody you’re close to, no matter how old you are. However, you verbally abused your teacher in the middle of class and that is unacceptable. I’m going to suspend you from school for the rest of the week, though I am allowing you to finish off the rest of today.”

Allow me? He’s going to allow me to finish out the day? Wow, way to sound like fucking jesus. I didn’t say anything though because I knew that once I started, I wasn’t going to stop. The last thing my mom needed to hear was that I cussed out both my teacher and my assistant principal all within an hour. He typed up the paper on his computer and printed it out on the school’s fancy paper before handing it to me with his signature. I took the paper and my things before leaving his office and heading to my locker. Class was about to end anyway and there was no way in hell that I was going to go back to that classroom today.

The bell rang and everybody shuffled out of their classrooms to head to their next destination. I paid them no mind as I switched out my binder for a folder and a spiral. My writing notebook was already in my messenger bag, as was my sketchbook, so all I needed now was my Calculus book and I’d be ready for class. The only problem was that it wasn’t in my locker. I checked my backpack and looked at all of the books on the organizer, but it definitely wasn’t there. It was probably sitting at home by my computer, meaning I was screwed. I groaned and banged my head against my locker door and went to do it again before somebody grabbed me. Jerking forward, I turned to see Alex looking at me with a startled look on his face.

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you alright?”

I shook my head and turned back to my locker, a look of despair on my face. Why didn’t I put it back in my bag last night before going to bed? Because you were too busy working on that sketch of yours. Oh shut the fuck up. I don’t need crap from you right now. Fine. I was just answering the question you asked yourself. Whatever. You too.

“Jerri-Berri! Don’t let that bitch get to you, she deserved it anyway.”

“How much trouble did you get in?”

Standing up, I slammed my locker shut and looked at the boys. Jack was right, she did deserve it. Alex should have known better than to touch me when I was upset and had my back turned. Rian, of course, was more worried about the repercussions than the others were. And Zack… well, he kinda just stood there with a thoughtful look on his face. I looked at Alex first and gave him a small smile before saying, “I’ll be fine.” He nodded and gave me a hug before saying goodbye and heading to his next class. Jack was bouncing up and down like he’d had some sugar since I’d seen him about five minutes ago—which was very possible. The boy always had sugary snacks with him. I grinned slightly before nodding, “I know she did. Besides, who else would have enough balls to do that?” Rian chuckled and shook his head at the comment before raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest. “After today, I’m suspended for a whole two days. Whoop-de-doo. Oh, hey, can I borrow your Calculus book? I think I left mine at home, because it’s not in my locker.” He nodded and handed it to me before walking off with Jack towards the gym. Which left Zack and I standing there awkwardly staring at each other. We both had Calculus next, so we always walked together. I turned and started to walk because I knew he would follow me.

“Jericha? Do you… wanna hang out later? I mean, I know today is the day you’d rather be in Baltimore and that you can’t go so you’re pissed. But I was thinking… maybe we could find a different way to say a sort of goodbye to her. We could go do something that she loved doing. You know, like doing it for her one last time because she can’t anymore. That kinda thing.”
I looked at Zack and smiled because the idea was so sweet. He knew how bad I felt about not being able to go and if he hadn’t, he definitely did after last class. The fact that he took time out of his day to think of ways to try and help me commemorate Belle while simultaneously trying to cheer me up was great. I think it was what I needed—a night out on the town or something, that is. Reaching over to grab his hand, I pulled Zack to the side of the hallway and hugged
him. He was surprised at first, but relaxed into the hug and wrapped his arms around me.

“Thank you, Zack. That sounds… wonderful.”

“It’s not a problem, Jerri. You know I’m here for you. Now come on, the last thing you and your mom need is for you to be late to class after already getting in trouble.”

I chuckled and grabbed the hand his books weren’t in once more, a shy smile on my face. He smiled back at me and we walked to Calculus hand in hand. I’m not going to lie either, it was nice.