Living Life in a Downward Spiral

The next day, I stayed in bed, not really wanting to deal with anything. Mom would come up to check on my every so often, just to make sure I didn't need anything. The next time my door opened, I expected to see her, but saw Uncle Brian instead.

"Hey, Babe. How you feelin'?" He asked, sitting on the edge of my bead. I shrugged, not really know how to answer that question. "How's your leg?"

"Alright," I mumbled.

He sighed. "Please talk to me, Stef. You know I'm here for you, Sweetie. So talk to me, tell me what's going through your mind right now?" When I stayed silent, he stood up. "Scoot over," he said as he climbed in next to me. "You can't keep it all in, Baby," he said softly, wrapping me in his arms.

"I don't know what to say," I said, keeping my gaze down.

"Why don't we talk about last night?"

"Which part?"

"How about the party?"

I shook my head. "I'm tired of talking about the party. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He nodded. "Alright, what do you want to talk about?" Be he already knew what I was thinking. "Thinks with your dad will get better, Stef. He does love you, he's just a bit lost right now."

"Why doesn't he act like it then?"

"Act like what?"

"Why doesn't he act like he loves me, if he does so much?"

"I don't know, Sweetie. Your uncles and I have been trying to get through to him for I don't know how long now. He just won't talk to us, tell us what's going through that damn mind of his." He sighed, running his hand down his face.

"Dean was always his favorite child, he was the Golden Child. He plays guitar and baseball. Me? I just surf and draw. I don't have any musical abilities what so ever."

"That doesn't mean that he loves you any less. You're his baby girl, Stef. He would give his right arm for you any day. No, you might not have the same things in common, but that's okay. That's what makes you unique."

"Well, he obviously doesn't want unique because I'm some how always screwing up."

"Stef, you can't believe any of that."

"And what am I supposed to believe?" I asked, sitting up. I shook my head and sighed, before getting up.

"Where are you going?" He asked, confused.

"Out." When I got down stairs, I saw Dean sitting in the living room. "And the Gold Child appears again," I said bitterly, before heading for the kitchen.

"Stef, wait." I was surprised to hear Uncle Matt's voice, but I ignored him. I just wanted to be left alone, was that so much to ask?"

"Stef, stop running," Uncle Brian said, catching up with me.

Guess so.

"Is it so much to ask to have a little bit of breathing room?!" I didn't mean to snap, but I was getting annoyed now.

"Baby-"

"Guys," Uncle Jimmy stopped them and gave them a look that said to back off. "Go back inside, guys."

"I don't want to talk anymore, Uncle Jimmy," I sighed, running my hands down my face.

"I know, and you don't have to." He sat down on one of the lawn chairs and looked up at me. "Stef, I know you had a rough night, much more than just the party. And I know that you're starting to feel smothered. I don't like the idea of leaving you alone by yourself right now, but I trust you, and I know you need a breather. Just promise me that you'll stay close to home, and I'll keep everyone away from you as much as I can."

I nodded slightly. "Okay."

That's what I loved about Uncle Jimmy, he didn't hover like the rest did. I know they all mean well, but I just need some space right now. I'm sure I'll be back in their arms, crying my eyes out, in no time. Right now, I just needed some room to breath.

I sat on the beach, staring out at the water. So many things were running through my mind. The biggest one was, What if Dad hadn't found me on the rocks? What if they hadn't gotten me breathing again? What if?

Would Dad have changed his thoughts about me? Would he regret the way he had started acting towards me? Would he miss me?

"I know you want to be left alone, but I thought you looked a bit cold," Aunt Val said, wrapping a blanket around me.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"I'm going to make lunch soon if you're hungry."

At the sound of my stomach growling, I knew I wouldn't be able to get away with telling her I wasn't hungry. But I also knew that I needed to eat something. "I'll be in soon." She smiled, nodding and I knew she was happy with my answer.

Aunt Val didn't push things, but she still made her opinion known. She always wanted the best for everyone. She was the Mom of the family, after all.

When I walked into the kitchen, Aunt Val, Aunt Lacey and Sarah were there. When I saw Sarah, my mind instantly shot to Greg. "He's fine," Aunt Val said, already knowing what I was thinking.

"You wouldn't be talking about me by any chance, now would you?" I spun around to see Greg.

I ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."

"You're fine, Stef, none of that was your fault. It was instinct for me to protect my cousin," he said, smiling softly. "There is no way anything was your fault last night."

"But, you-"

"No, Stef." He held me at arms length and gave me a stern look. "I am not going to let you blame yourself for anything. You do enough of that already." I sighed, laying my head on his chest. "Come on, let's go sit down and eat."

He led me over to the kitchen table and we sat down. "How bad was it?" I asked softly, referring to his trip to the county jail.

"Stef, I don't want you thinking about it anymore, okay? It's over and down with, no more." I nodded slowly, dropping the subject... For now.

"Here we go, grilled cheese," Aunt Lacey smiled, setting the plates down in front of us.

Greg rolled his eyes. "You act like we're still kids."

"You are babies in our eyes until the day you die," Aunt Val said, pointing the spatula at him.

I laughed softly, shaking my head. She was always telling us that there was no way we would ever grow up, she wouldn't allow it. Of course there was no way to control that, though she thought she could...