Living Life in a Downward Spiral

I stood in front of my mirror, just staring at my reflection. Today was the first day back to school, which was going to be hard. I’ve always been under the shadow of my brother, so we’ll see how today goes.

When I got down stairs, Mom was in the kitchen making coffee. The dark bags under her eyes told me that she didn’t get any sleep again. Since Dad and Dean moved out, it’s been really quiet, also. But we’ve started to adjust; slowly but surely.

“Hey, Sweetie,” she said softly, giving me a small smile. “Are you ready for school?”

I shrugged. “Is any teenager ready to go back to school after Summer?”

“Very true, but just remember that you only have this year left, then you’re free from high school forever.”

I smiled, nodding. “I’m already counting the days ‘till Graduation.”

“Uncle Brian said he was sending Greg over to pick you up for school. He should be here soon.”

Mom and I spent a little time together before Greg showed up to take me to school. “You know, I could have just walked,” I said, looking out the window.

“And why would you do that when you have someone to drive you?” He asked confused. I just stayed silent after that.

When we pulled into the parking lot, all of Greg’s friends were waiting for him at their parking area. “Thanks for the ride,” I mumbled, getting out of the car.

“Why’d you give her a ride?” One of them asked when they thought I was out of hearing distance.

“Because I told my dad I would,” he shrugged.

I sighed, shaking my head as I walked into the building. I knew he had a reputation to keep up with, but I just wished he would have waited until I was at least out of sight. It wasn’t long before the bell rang for school to start. Most the day was a blur because I did what I usually do; plug my head phones in and pull my hood up. It made me feel invisible to the world.

This is how I got my “loner” label. Ever since the accident, all I wanted was to be invisible. If I wasn’t, I got crap from the Goones. Dean had tried to keep me sheltered when he wasn’t being too busy with his Senior year.

My favorite class had finally come around, art. It was a peaceful escape from anything else that was going on. It was an hour of quiet, relaxation and creativity.

After school, I grabbed what I needed from my locker, before heading out. Instead of going to Greg’s car, I headed in the direction of my house. “Stef, where are you going?” Greg called as I passed by him and his friends.

“Home,” I said simply.

“Uh, the car’s this way.”

“Save it, Greg. I’m completely capable of walking.” I plugged my headphones in before he could say anything else and walked home.

“Mom, I’m home!” I called out once I walked through the door.

“Living room, Hun!” She called back.

I walked in, dropping my bag by the table, then saw Uncle Brian sitting on the couch. “Hey, where’s Greg?” He asked, looking behind me.

Crap… “Oh, I told him I wanted to walk home today. Get some exercise in.” I’m so stupid…

He gave me a confused look. “Okay…” Mom gave me a look saying that we would talk later.

“So, how was your first day of Senior year?” Mom asked, trying to get me to sit down.

I shrugged. “Like any other day, it didn’t really feel different.”

She laughed softly, nodding. “Well, I’ll start dinner soon. Do you want me to come get you when it’s done?”

“Sure, I already have homework on the first day, so I should get started on it.”

“Welcome to Senior year,” Uncle Brian said, laughing.

I left them in the living room and headed up to my room. Senior year is going to suck if they continue to give us this much homework. I thought Senior year was the year you were supposed to have fun?

Just was I was getting focused on one subject, my door opened. “Stef, what was that after school?” Greg asked, closing the door behind him.

“What are you talking about, Greg?” I asked not looking up from my work.

“I was waiting to give you a ride home, but you just walked off.”

I sighed, closing my book. “Let’s not kid ourselves, Greg. You have your image that you need to keep, and I could care less what people think of me. I know what they say about me behind my back. I can get along by myself, I don’t nee my cousin looking out for me. So, thanks, but no thanks.” I walked out of my room, leaving Greg there.

I went down stairs and found Mom making dinner in the kitchen. “Need any help, Mom?” I asked as I heard the front door slam, knowing that it was just Greg.

“I think I’ve got it, Sweetie, thanks. But I wouldn’t mind the company.” I gave her a soft smile and pulled up a bar stool.

She tried talking to me about Dad, but when she saw how uncomfortable I became, she didn’t push it. Instead, we found other things to talk about. It felt nice talking to her like this, we haven’t done it in a long time.