Living Life in a Downward Spiral

After I took off from Dad's, or should I say Zack's place, I went straight home. I didn't go inside, I just went to the back to grab my board. I set off for the water for the first time since my accident. My mind was clouded and I needed the one thing to set me free.

As soon as I hit those waves, my anxiety subsided. I let my mind get lost in crashing of the water. Gliding with the waves seemed to always clear my mind. The fluid motions of the water were so soothing.

A while later, I just sat on my board, wading in the water. I looked out at the water as the sun shone down onto it. Tears were softly falling down my cheeks, but I paid no attention to them. The one question that kept running through my mind was 'Has my whole life just been a lie?'.

"Steph!" I heard my name being called from back on shore. I didn't have to turn around to know who the voice belonged to. I simply ignored Uncle Brian, and staid where I was.

Out of no where, he was suddenly swimming at my side. "Baby, please come to shore," he said softly, resting his hand on my leg.

"Why?" I asked softly, my voice no more than a whisper. "Just so I can be lied to and regected even more?"

"Steph, your mother didn't do any of this to hurt you."

"But she isn't my mother, is she?" I snapped, not meaning to.

He gave me a stern look. "She is your mother, Steph. Maybe she isn't your biological, but she has acted as your mother for the last seventeen years. When your biological mother died, Gena knew you couldn't go anywhere else and she wanted to take you home with her."

"That's why Zack has always been a bit off with me. It's all because I'm not his daughter, so why should he care?" I was bitter, but no one could blame me for that.

"Please just come into the house so we can all talk," he said, pretty much telling me that I didn't have a choice. He might not have said it out loud, but that underlying tone was there.

Once we got to the house, Uncle Matt was already on the patio waiting for us with a towel. He wrapped it around my shoulders, and went to pull me into a hug, but I pulled away making sure he didn't. He gave me a hurt look, but I just brushed it off. I was angry at all of them for keeping something so important from me.

I walked inside, planning on going straight up to my room, when I was stopped by someone running into me and pulling me into their arms. "Oh, Baby I am so sorry," Mom said, crying into my shoulder.

I wanted so badly to pull away from her and be angry just like I had done with Uncle Matt and Brian, but I couldn't find it in me. Instead, I broke down in her arms. I let her hold me as I let everything I was feeling out. She stroked my hair as she silently cried with me.

After a while, I was trying to calm myself down enough so I could tell her I wanted to go change. When I was able to get that out, I headed up to my room. Part of me had no intentions of going back down, and I'm pretty sure Uncle Matt picked up on that. Right as I was about to close adn lock my door, he showed up.

"I just wanted to make sure you're coming back down," he said softly. I looked at him, not knowing what to say. "You have to come back down, there's so much that needs to be talked about now that this is on the table."

Sighing, I sat down on my bed. "I really just want to take a shower and curl up in bed."

He nodded knowingly. "You can later, but first things need to be settled."

I knew I wasn't going to be able to argue with him, so I simply grabbed a change of clothes and went into my bathroom to take a shower. When I got out, I didn't bother drying my hair or anything. I simply put on my clothes and som slippers, before I slowly made my way back down stairs.

By the time I got down there, everyone was here. Well this is going to be fun...