Living Life in a Downward Spiral

The next day, I was sitting outside. You could tell there was going to be a storm coming in. The dark clouds were rolling in as I sat by the window in the living room.

Everyone was sitting around, doing whatever. The kids were mostly in their rooms, and the guys were in the room they went to for music crap.

Deen was sitting on the couch, watching me as usual. He always did this, ever since we were little kids. He really didn't like me being out of his sight, because he always felt this strong need to protect me.

You can't protect me anymore, Big Brother...

"Whatcha drawing?" Uncle Johnny asked, looking over my shoulder.

Did I mention that I draw a lot? It's my escape from the real world, other than surfing. But, I couldn't really surf right now, so this is what I was doing.

"Why such a sad drawing?" He asked, frowning.

I shrugged. "It fits the mood of the weather."

Thank God it was about to rain, or else I would have been screwed.

"Hmm, you're right." He said, nodding. "Well, I'm about to make lunch. You want anything?"

I cringed. "No thanks." He looked at me concerned. "I ate earlier."

"Alright... Well, just let me know if you change your mind."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Uncle Johnny."

"No problem, Kiddo." He said, kissing the top of my head, before walking off.

I decided to go outside once it started to rain. It was really a down poor, just a nice rain. I stood there, looking up at the sky. I loved the feeling of the rain rolling off of me. It felt so nice, especially since I was in a tank and shorts.

"You're gonna get sick." I turned around to see Uncle Jimmy standing under the protection of the porch.

"It's worth it." He gave me a knowing smile.

When I was a kid, he would come and dance with me in the rain because no one else would. I was the only one that loved the rain. Everyone else thought I was crazy.

"Stefanie, come inside." Dad said in a stern tone a few minutes later.

I sighed, before trudging inside. I hated when he was like this.

"I don't want you being out there when there's lightning." He said, as I passed by him and headed up stairs.

After drying off, I got into a different change of clothes.

As I walked back down stairs, I heard the familiar laughs of the twins. They could always put a smile on my face with their laughter. They were just so damn cute.

But when I saw what the cause of their laughter was, my smile faltered. My Dad was messing around with them, running around the living room. It hurt seeing him so care free with them, and so hard with me.

I was about to walk back up stairs, when I felt a pair of strong arms pick me up and throw me over their shoulder. "She came out of hiding!" Uncle Matt said, as I was still slung over his shoulder.

"It's 'bout time! Damn." Uncle Brian said, laughing.

I shook my head as Uncle Matt sat me on the kitchen island. "Traitor." Greg said, glaring at my shirt.

"Oh, give up, you ass." I said, glaring back at him.

"Ok, you two." Aunt Val said, giving us a side glance.

Greg and I always fought with each other with this issue. See, I was a Dolphins fan, while he was an Eagles. I usually just wore this shirt to piss him off. I hadn't realized I had it on when I changed though. I just wanted something comfortable.

Uncle Brian was standing next to me, so I lay my head down on his shoulder. "You ok?" He asked softly, wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head.

I swear, him and my other uncles seem to be more affectionate towards me recently than my own father.

"Fine." I said softly.

"You know you can talk to me, Sweetie." He said, rubbing my back.

"Maybe later." I said, hopping off the counter, knowing that later wouldn't come. I would never be able to talk to any of them about this.

"Stefi." Katy said, bouncing over to me.

"Hey, what's up, cutie?" I asked, picking her up.

"Can you draw me a flower?"

I smiled. "Of course I can. Go find a flower that you want me to draw. There's plenty of them all over the house that you've picked in this last week." I sat her down so she could go find one.

She was always asking me to draw things for her, and I didn't mind. After I would draw some of them, she would color them, the others she would just leave black and white. But, when she was coloring them, she said she had to always be careful because she didn't want to go outside of the lines and ruin the pretty picture.

"Hey, Sissy." Deen said as I sat next to him on the couch. He hadn't called me that in forever... No one had. I gave him a confused look. "What?"

"You haven't called me that in years."

He shrugged. "I miss calling you that." I smiled and snuggled into him as I watched t.v. with him until Katy came back.

About ten minutes later, Katy stood in front of me, holding one of the favorite wild flowers that she found up here. "Alright, let's see." I said, grabbing my pad of paper and a sharp pencil.

About a half hour later, Dad snapped me out of my concentration. "Stef, do you think you can put that thing down for a few minutes and grab me your dirty clothes?"

"Yeah." He was such a hypocrite. He never really understood why I always draw. That's like someone saying why they don't understand why he loves the guitar so much.

Just as I was going up the stairs, I started to fell really light headed. I pushed the feeling away, but a few seconds later, it took over me and everything went black.