Living Life in a Downward Spiral

It was dark and the storm was getting worse. I could barely see anything in front of me. This whole day was horrible.

I got into a fight with my boyfriend, and then another fight with my best friend right after that. Talk about a shitty day.

The music was blasting as I tried to focus on the road in front of me. It happened so fast, that I couldn't even register what happened next.

I gasped as I woke up from the nightmare. I focused on my surroundings and realized that I was back in the car with Deen, Mom, and Dad.

"You ok, Stef?" Deen asked, looking at me concerned.

I nodded. "Yeah, just a bad dream." I mumbled.

"Was it the same one?" He asked, taking his seat belt off and scooting over to me, taking me in his arms. I nodded, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Do you want us to pull over?" Mom asked, understanding my fear of being in cars. It's never been the same since that night.

Dad sighed, and gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter. "No, it's fine." I mumbled, burring my head into Deen's shoulder.

"We'll be home soon enough." Deen said, smoothing out my hair.

And he was right. About a half hour later, we were back to the house. We were lucky enough to be able to live right on the beach.

I took my bags and everything else upstairs to my room, before I went back down and out the back. I always came to sit on the beach whenever I wanted to escape from my nightmare of a life.

And that's just what my life felt like. I felt like I was in a never ending nightmare. Every day or night, I re-lived that night, over and over again. That's why I couldn't sleep anymore. I've gotten used to not sleeping, but no one else knows. They just think I sleep, but I just lay there in bed, pretending.

When I know everyone's asleep, I sneak out of the house half the time and come out to the sand or sit by the water.

"What're you doing out here by yourself?" Deen asked, sitting next to me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Just thinking." I said, keeping my eyes on the water.

"It is a nice place to think, isn't it?" He continued to rub my back as we watched the waves. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you always being around." He sighed, breaking the silence.

I buried my face into his chest as I felt the tears coming on. "Then don't leave."

"I have to, Baby." He said, pulling me into his lap and holding me tightly.

"No you don't."

He rested his head on top of mine as he gently rocked us. "You're going to be fine. I'll come and visit all the time. I not that far away."

"It's going to be horrible without you here. You're the only one that really get's me."

"Hey, that's not true."

"Yes! It is!" I pulled away from him and stood up.

"Stef, come on-"

"No, Deen! Ever since the accident, everything has just gotten worse! I feel like I'm the fucking black sheep of the family! I just don't belong..." I shook my head as I took off back inside.

*Deen's P.O.V.*

I sighed as I watched Stef run back inside. I didn't know what to do anymore. I've never seen my baby sister like this, and it was tearing me apart.

All I wanted was to take all the pain away from her. She didn't deserve any of this crap. She was so hard on herself, and everything else wasn't helping. Especially Dad's bitch ass attitude.

I walked back to the house to find Mom in the kitchen. "Hey, you." She smiled as I sat down on one of the bar stools. "What's up?" She was getting dinner ready, but always seemed to know when something was on my mind.

"I'm really worried about, Stef." I said, looking down at the counter.

"I am too, but she just won't talk to any of us. I've tried getting her talk to everyone, but nothing seems to work."

"I'm starting to think that leaving isn't such a good idea..." I mumbled.

She sighed. "Deen, you can't let what's going on with Stef put a hold on your college education. Don't put that much on your shoulders. I do watch out for my kids, you know." She said, giving me a look saying she was playing around.

"I think there's something else that's bugging her, other than the accident."

She stopped what she was doing to look at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, for one, Dad's probably a huge issue for her. I mean, what the hell is up his ass lately?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, but he does seem a bit off lately, doesn't he?" She was deep in thought as she stared off. A few minutes later, she snapped out of it. "Here, watch the pasta for me." She said, before walking out of the kitchen.

*Stefani's P.O.V.*

I could hear Mom and Dad fighting in their room that was down the hall from mine. I hated hearing them fight...

I decided to sneak down to the garage and get my surf board, before going back down to the water. It was getting a little late, but there was still enough sun out. Plus, it wasn't the first time I had surfed close to dark.

The feeling of being in the water was the best, as always. Uncle Brian always jokes around and says that I'm a fish because I'd rather be in that water than on land.

When everyone thought the waster was cold, I would just laugh and still go in. Nothing could keep me out of the water. Not even that one time that I got stung by a jelly fish.

I was about thirteen when it happened. I felt something sting me, so I yelped and got out of the water so I could see what it was.

"It was a jelly fish! Hurry, someone pee on it!" Uncle Jimmy said, inspecting my foot.

"Here." Uncle Matt said, standing up.

"Ew! No! That's so gross, Uncle Matt!" I said, running away from him and back in the water.

"You're fuckin' crazy, kid!" Uncle Johnny called out to me, and I just laughed.

I was brought back out of the memory as a monster wave took me out.

*Deen's P.O.V.*

I watched Stef as she went for a quick surf. It seemed like she was always in the damn water.

I smiled as she looked so free. After a little bit, she just sat there, looking out at the water, almost as if she was spacing.

Then, a huge wave came and took her out. When I didn't see her come back up, I started to panic. "Stef!"