Living Life in a Downward Spiral

The next morning, I woke up and felt pain flow through me. So last night wasn't a dream I had wished it was...

I sat up to the best of my abilities. I saw that I was back in my room and Deen was asleep in my computer chair. "Deen." My voice was rough and my throat still hurt. Instead of staying there, I got up and limped over to him. "Deen." I said, shaking him lightly.

He jumped up, looking around. "What? What's wrong?"

"Hey, calm down." I said, putting my hands on his cheeks to keep him still.

He sighed, leaning back into the chair. "You should be in bed."

"And so should you." He had dark bags under his eyes and he could barely keep his eyes open.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." He yawned.

"I'm sure I would've been fine, Deen" I said, walking towards my door and down stairs.

Everyone was down stairs either eating, or sitting around and talking. "Hey, Baby. How do you feel?" Mom asked, kissing my forehead.

"Ok."

"You want some breakfast?" I knew I didn't have a choice because she had already started making me a dish.

She sat the plate down at the table between Dad and Uncle Johnny.

"Hey, Kiddo." Uncle Johnny said as I sat down.

"Hey." I waited for Dad to say something, but knew I was waisting my time. Especially when his cell rang and he got up to answer it. I looked down at my plate and pushed the food around with my fork. "Is Dad still mad at me?" I whispered, only intending on Uncle Johnny to hear. But, when everyone got quiet, I knew they all heard.

"What would make you think that?" Uncle Matt asked.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"It does matter, Stef." Deen said, sitting next to me.

"I don't' want to talk about this." Why did I even go and open my mouth?

"You're the one that brought it up." Uncle Brian said.

"I'm sorry, ok? I was just asking a question. Can we just drop it?" I mumbled, standing up and walking out the back door.

I sat in one of the patio chairs as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I couldn't figure anything out lately. It just seemed like these last few months were finally catching up with me. What happened yesterday was just the icing on the cake.

"Hey now. What's this?" Aunt Leana said softly, wiping the tears away.

"I know, I'm pathetic."

She pulled back and gave me a look. "Now where the hell did you get that from?"

"It's the truth."

"Baby, that is far from the truth."

"No, it's not! Ever since the accident, I've done nothing but screw up! I can't even do anything with my life! My own father acts like I'm a failure! That's all I am and ever will be."

*Zacky's P.O.V*

I stood there, listening to everything Stef was saying. It was breaking my heart to hear her saying this. I didn't' know she was hurting like this. I didn't want her to feel like this.

Nothing was her fault, but she's still blaming herself. I love my baby girl, I don't want her to feel like this.

"It's not her fault that I'm a cheating father."