A Solar Eclipse Only Happens With a New Moon

Chapter 9

I was sitting in the Cullens living room with Bella.

" How was my mom after no one could find me?" I asked the question I've been wondering.

" Well, she was devastated, she was really upset and she always thought it was her fault for you running away, my mom had to tell her many times it wasn't her fault"

" So she was in pain because of me" I said feeling sad.

" Its okay she has been slowly getting better, I heard my mom talking about how she always cries at night though" Bella said.

I sighed. I miss her, I miss her so much it hurts.

************

I found myself running again, I froze time so Andrew wouldn't follow my smell and I went all the way to my old house. I stopped and passed the spot where James found me and I shivered.

I slowly walked towards my house, my moms car wasn't in the drive way and I opened the front the door and went in. Nothing has changed but there where tons of pictures of me everywhere.

I found tons of notes saying shes sorry to me, I know what these where letters you write for people you want to apologize to, my mom believes everything she reads. I forgave her long ago.

I felt horrible my mom is being weighed down by all this guilt. I grabbed piece of paper and in my messy yet neat writing I wrote in big letter.

Mother, I'm sorry, Your forgiven. I heard her car door slam and I quickly ran out of the house.

She walked in. She looks the same, she dyed her hair. I felt pain rip through my chest.

She put her purse on the counter and then saw the note and grabbed it. Her eyes opened wide and she looked around her. She spotted something and grabbed my scarf. I touched my neck and it must of fallen off.

She fell to her knees and started crying. " Alexa, I'm so sorry please, please come home Alexa" she cried out.

I want to mother I want to so bad. I drew a heart on the window and wrote 'I wish I could' I knocked gently then ran as she looked up.

It pains me to see her like this, I need someone to talk to.

I went to the beach but Jacob wasn't there. I found his smell and found his house. I knocked lightly. Billy answered.

He scrunched his face. " Yeah I'm a vampire" I said.

" Is Jake here? its Alexa" I said.

" So your Alexa" he said.

I tilted my head. " Yeah.. I am" I said.

Billy turned around and in his wheelchair and yelled for Jacob.

" What now!" he said but then saw me. He smiled

" Hey Alexa! Whats up?" he asked.

" I umm" I said tongue tied.

He came outside and closed the door behind him and we started walking.

' I don't know why I came here but I needed someone to talk to and I felt like talking to you" I said.

" What is it?" he asked.

" Well, umm its about my mother, I went to my old house and I saw her, I left her a note and it hurt me to see how much pain I've caused her" I said.

" I'm sorry" he said.

' You have nothing to be sorry about" I said.

" I just felt like saying sorry" he said.

" Sorry doesn't cut it sorry doesn't make everything better!" I half screamed.

" Calm down Alexa" he said.

" I don't want to calm down, I'm upset and I want my mother back I didn't choose this life I didn't want to be this monster!" I growled.

Jacob grabbed my wrist. " Alexa calm down"

I hit Jacob lightly over and over again in the chest it didn't hurt him that much because I wasn't trying hard.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed in his chest.

" Alexa...your crying" said Jacob. I took a step back and touched my face.

" Wha, why?" I said.

" I can't cry, whats happening to me" I said. I hugged myself.

" What happening to me! I'm a vampire were not suppose to cry" I said and fell to the ground.

" I'll call Carlisle" said Jacob and ran and got a phone. I don't remember Jacob coming back and calling my name or shaking me. I don't remember him telling me I should stand up. I just stayed in the same position with my head in my knees while I cried.

I didn't notice Carlisle came until he pulled my hands off me. I looked up.

" I'm crying" I said.

' I can see that but I don't know why" he said.

" This isn't right" I said.

Carlisle checked some things on me. " You still have other vampire quality's" he said.

' Maybe its Andrew" said Bella.

" Maybe' I said. We where back in the Cullens living room. Jacob was standing quietly in the corner.

I smirked. " Good doggy your being very quiet" I said. He stuck his tongue out at me and then we smiled at each other.

I looked at Bella and she gave me this look. I rolled my eyes. Why am I being civil with Jake?