Don't Be So Hard on Yourself

Saturday started the season off with cold winds and sleet. I groaned when I looked outside, Kelsi looked out the window with me looking at the snow, sleet and wind all around the castle. Currently we walked to the Great Hall for breakfast, we were dressed in normal clothing for a day out in Hogsmeade. I wore black boots, tight black pants and a green and gray stripped sweater with a matching scarf. I kept my coat in my arms so I wouldn’t sweat too much inside. “It looks absolutely dreadful outside,” Kelsi commented and I nodded with a grim smile on my face.

“I’m not looking forward to it. I just hope it’s warm in the Three Broomsticks,” Kelsi nodded in agreement as we sat down at our table. I quickly filled my plate with warm food and saw that Kelsi was doing the same.

“I hope this warm food will keep us warm.” I smiled to Kelsi, noticing Blaise walking past us with Nott. I opened my mouth to say something but Blaise beat me to it.

“Meet us in the Three Broomsticks, Nott and I want to get there early before the sleet gets worse,” Kelsi and I nodded as Blaise smiled at us. Nott waved with an idiotic smile towards Kelsi and he gave me a small nod. I looked over to Kelsi before laughing when they were out of ear shot.

“Nott totally likes you,” Kelsi’s face blushed red and I laughed more. “I doubt it,” I heard her say and I couldn’t help but laugh even more. I made myself calm down before eating. Kelsi’s face was still red when we finished eating and she tried to brush off her nerves.

“Okay if he likes me, it won’t hurt to flirt, right? What about Blaise? I thought he liked me,” I shrugged even though she seemed really distraught. Blaise likes her, I know that because he told me over the summer and I accidentally told her the other night. But the way Nott was acting in the Great Hall definitely screamed that he liked Kelsi.

“Go with who you want and just remember, you don’t have to give them the time of day if you don’t want to.” Kelsi laughed and we made our way toward the gates, where Mr. Filch was checking everyone with his Secrecy Senor. I rolled my eyes at the man as he aimed the device at me. He gave me a horrible look before letting me go on. Kelsi and I walked past the gates and along the path to Hogsmeade.

“I regret coming out here, oh dear,” I laughed slightly at Kelsi before covering my face with my scarf. When I thought that the weather only looked horrible, it felt even worse. Kelsi and I tried to hurry ourselves towards the Three Broomsticks despite the huge throng of people. We ended up walking behind Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. I could hear them talking. Hermione seemed to be yelling at Harry for something.

“Oh Harry, will you drop it? Draco Malfoy is not a Death Eater.” I felt my face drop despite how numb it felt and I looked to Kelsi, her face mimicked mine.

“Hermione, why is he always inside during Quidditch matches when everyone else is at the match? And he’s always sneaking around at odd hours. And he was talking about not coming back next year. His father is a Death Eater, it just makes sense!” I felt my jaw clench but I decided not to start something with him. I just brushed past him, making sure he knew I was there and I heard Ron say something.

“Do you think she heard you? She is dating Malfoy,” I didn’t look back at them, instead Kelsi and I sat at a table with Blaise and Nott. Nott smiled before saying he’ll be right back with two butterbeers. Once Nott returned I quickly began to drink my warm drink. It was soothing and I looked over to Kelsi who chatted with Nott, her smile seemed slightly flirtatious. I looked over to Blaise who looked a bit down but I decided to talk to him.

“Hey Blaise,” I watched him look up and I smiled half-heartedly. “Wanna keep my mind off my overworked boyfriend?” Blaise nodded and put a smile on his face.

“So, Slughorn keeps telling me to go these ‘Slug Club’ things. I don’t know, I might just go to one if I’m bored enough. Apparently it’s for ‘exceptional students’,” I laughed at Blaise’s air quotes. “I think it’s because of my uncle. You know I’m surprised Draco hasn’t gone to one of these things.” I shrugged biting down on my lip before taking a drink of my butterbeer. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to Blaise, it’s okay. I think I know why Draco hasn’t been asked,” Blaise didn’t press the subject further. He was about to say something when I spotted Draco emerging from the bathrooms. I held up a finger to Blaise before getting out of my seat and walking over to Draco. He saw me before I could say anything, he grabbed my arm and quickly brought me outside. He took me around to the side of the building and pushed me against the wall.

“Draco, what are you doing?” I asked as he looked down at me with emotion in his eyes. He bit his lip before wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into my neck. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and I felt chills run up and down my spine. I closed my eyes before sighing.

“Draco why are you here? I thought you were going to work on the Cabinet?” My voice was hushed and Draco watched around for wandering people. No one was outside. Draco looked at me, his eyes searching mine and I could practically hear his heartbeat.

“I’m doing business, Acey, I can’t be bothered.” Draco stopped and I felt tears collect in my eyes as if he was telling me to leave him alone forever. “Don’t follow Katie Bell, she’s a Gryffindor and you should know her from Quidditch. No matter what you do, I don’t want you to be there if she’s caught.”

“Draco what are you talking about?” Draco didn’t answer my obvious confusion. I was going to ask him again but he put a cold, gloveless finger up to my lips. He didn’t say anything but removed his finger from my lips and pressed his cold lips to mine. Literally an instant later his lips were removed and he was off back to the castle. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks as I watched him walk away.

I felt as if he was walking away after a fight and I was left feeling absolutely helpless and heartbroken. I fell against the cold wall as painful sobs left me. I cried until I made myself stop. I was freezing, tired and sick of everything. I calmed myself down before returning back into the Three Broomsticks. I spotted Katie Bell leave the table she shared with one of her friends, I watched her walk into the bathroom. I wanted to scream for her to not to go in there. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t betray Draco like that. I just sat back down in my seat, finishing my butterbeer. Kelsi, Nott and Blaise all looked at me with very concerned faces.

“What happened?” Kelsi asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder. I just shook my head. I couldn’t even respond.

“I’ll get you another butterbeer,” Blaise told before nodding to Nott to get up as well. Nott smiled at me slightly before getting up with Blaise. Kelsi looked at me but I still didn’t answer.

“Did you and Draco get in a fight? If you guys did, do you need me to yell at him or something?” I shook my head and kept my eyes on the bathroom. I heard Kelsi sigh but she didn’t say another word. Blaise set a butterbeer in front of me and I drank it in silence. I watched Katie walk out of the bathroom. She held a package in her hand and she went directly to her friend. Her friend stood up with a worried face and asked what she had in her hands. Katie didn’t answer her question. I felt my heart drop in my chest. She has to be under a curse.

I watched Katie and her friend walk out of the Three Broomsticks. Then Harry, Ron and Hermoine left and I fought against warning them.

“Okay, Acey, what’s up? You’re acting strange,” I looked over to see Blaise staring at me with a concerned look. I shook my head, gulping down more of my butterbeer.

“It’s nothing. I’m gonna go to Honeydukes.” I stood up and walked outside, towards the path. I looked up to see Katie Bell thrown up in the air. Then I heard the scream, the ear piercing scream let out of her then she dropped. Harry came running from the path and ran into Hagrid.

“It’s Katie, she’s been cursed,” I heard and I felt my heart drop. I felt cemented in my spot. Katie has just been cursed and hurt because of Draco.

And I know.