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Esme (Motherly vamp): Happy birthday Bella, here’s you’re present
Bella: Thanks
(Bella try to open her present but then gets a paper cut)
Bella: Oh no
(She shrugs then licks her finger to get rid of the blood, while everyone staring at her)
Bella: Oh does anyone want some
(They all dive at her)
Ages later
Edward: I’m leaving you
Bella: Don’t leave just because what happened at your house
Edward: Oh I’m not I’m just sick of you
Bella: I hate you too but please don’t leave me
Edward: errrr NO
Bella: Fine go see if I care
(He leaves her….. finally!!)
Weeks later
Bella (To herself): If you’re sick of me then I’ll die
(Jumps off a cliff)
2 hours later
Alice (Perky vamp): How could you kill yourself! (She growled)
Perky vamp? More like angry vamp
Bella: I’m right here, how dum can you be
(Jacob comes into Bella house)
Jacob: Yeah leech
Bella: Piss off Jake this is between me and her
(Alice has a vision)
Jake: Oh that was Edward on the phone, he said he going to get some leeches in Italy kill him, bye human, leech
Bella: Bye dog
Alice: BELLA
Bella: WHAT
Alice: Edward is going to kill himself, don’t you want to stop him
Bella: Oh right… nah actually I’m pretty tired
(Alice sighs then drag Bella out of the house)
The next morning
Italy vamp No.1: Isn’t this good, Bella is alive at last
Bella: Well nah!
Edward: Not really thrilled about that
Italy vamp No.1: Then why did you want to die?
Edward: Because I heard she was going to find me
Bella: Bastard
Edward: Bitch
Italy Vamp No.2: If you don’t change her into a vampire by the time we come to visit, then we’ll do it for you… or kill her not quite sure
Edward: I let you do it
Italy Vamp No.2: I’ll be looking forward to it... for now goodbye
2 days later
Bella: I’m sorry Edward
Edward: I don’t give a shit
Bella: I hate you!
Edward: I hate you too!
(They start kissing and don’t ask me why?)
Edward: Bella, will you marry me?