Almost Easy

Ch 5

I pulled on my black dress as we got ready for Gabriella's funeral. I slipped on my shoes and my water proof mascara. I still can't believe that my first baby was dead.

"Zacky?" I called and a few minutes later he came into the bathroom with a worried expression on his face.

"Yes babe?" he asked and slipped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and looked at him in the mirror as he looked back at me.

"This is my fault. If I hadn't been talking in the cell phone, then I wouldn't have crashed and Gabriella would still be alive." I said and he had the most hurt expression on his face. He turned me around quickly and I buried my face in the crook of his neck as sobs began to wrack my body.

"This is not your fault. If it's anyones fault it's mine and the drunk drivers. You were on speaker phone and paying attention to the road. If I had kept it in my pants you wouldn't have run, and you wouldn't have been worrying about me and a place for me to stay." he said as a few tears fell down his face.

"It's not your fault either Zacky." I said and he nodded and pulled me closer to him if it were even possible.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked and I nodded. I grabbed a few packs of ready to go tissues and we got into the car and drove to the funeral home.

<><><><> funeral home <><><><>

I stood behind the podium as everyone there watched me in silence.

"First of all I would like to thank you all for coming to Gabriella's funeral even though you did not know her. It is typical at funerals to give a eulogy telling about what a wonderful person the deceased was, all of her achievements, and how her death will affect the community and the family greatly. For Gabriella, who we all never had the pleasure of meeting, writing a eulogy may seem kind of difficult. Surely, an unborn child can not accomplish anything if they are not born, right?"

"Though Zachary and I never got to see our baby girl smile, yawn, or cry, I still knew what kinds of food she liked and disliked, what music made her dance, and which she fell asleep to, what stories she liked to hear, and which clothes she did and didn't want mommy to wear." I said and they laughed a little.

"Through out the eight months that I carried her, she taught me what love was all about, and with her passing, she taught all of us, what to, and what not to take for granted. She taught me how to take care of myself better because i was now taking care of someone else too. Ashe taught mento be thankful to have her because some women don't have to ability to have a baby to love and to care for. I once again would like to thank you all for coming and i would now like to have father smith come up and say a prayer." I said and wiped away the tears that were falling down my face.

"Thank you." I said and stepped away from the podium and into Zacky's awaiting arms. The minister stepped up to the podium and grabbed out his Bible.

"Can you all please bow your heads as we show our respect to Gabriella Lynn Baker." he said and everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads.

" Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. . . . For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. Isaiah 41:10, 13." father smith said and I wiped my face and raised my head.

"Does anyone care to share anything else?" Father asked and Matt cleared his throat and stood up.

"I do father." he said and Father nodded and stepped down. Matt walked up to the podium and cleared his throat again.

"This is called A Child Loaned, by Edger A. Guest;

I'll lend you for a little time
A child of Mine," He said,
"For you to love the while she lives,
And mourn for when she's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call her back,
Take care of her for Me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories
As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over
In My search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you;
Now will you give her all your love,
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
And take her back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand" he said and by the end I was a mess. I stood up and wrapped him in a hug as soon as he stepped down.

"Thank you Mattie…" I said and he wrapped me up in a hug.

"You're welcome Sis." he said and I sniffled.

"We're going to go over to the cemetery now for the burial." Matt said and everyone came up and paid their respects to us. After that we all left and went to the cemetery.