Ice Hot

Carlisle was waiting for me outside the house. He probably knew what I wanted to do. I sat in a chair next to him. He took my hand and squeezed it. He did know. I loved him so much. I loved them all. But, I couldn’t stay away from him. It felt like I only had half of me here. I looked into his eyes and saw that he wasn’t just accepting, but he was happy for me. He knew that I couldn’t stay away from him. I looked deeper into his mind and saw that everyone else, including him, fell like I am.

“Everyone fell in love?” I asked. He nodded. This made me so much better about me leaving them again. I leaned over to him and gave him a hug. I walked into the house with him to tell everyone what I was going to do. They were waiting in the living room. Carlisle must have told them. But, did he tell them about the decision I made? Or did I have to tell them? I want to sit next to Renesme on the far couch. She had a sad expression on her face. Did she know? I held her in my arms.

“Did Carlisle tell you?” I asked her.

“He only said that you had something to tell us. But, I know that it’s bad,” she said. So I did have to tell her.

“Well, first, I need to tell you I love you.” I was talking to everyone. “Next, I love being here with you, and I missed you so much in England, but I need to go back.” She looked horrified.

“Why? You just came back,” Alice said. She stood up and almost knocked over the glass table in front of her.

“I don’t want you to go either,” Renesme said. Everyone was upset with me. I hated myself for making everyone upset. I didn’t want to leave them and make them sad, but I couldn’t stay away from Harry. I didn’t know what to do. I let my head fall into my hands. I was being selfish again. I didn’t want to be selfish but I couldn’t help it.

“You’re not being selfish Carol,” Edward said. He read my mind. I hated it when he read my mind. It made me feel like I had no privacy. And he didn’t make me feel any better. I was and I couldn’t live with myself if everyone hated me. “And no one hates you. We’ll just miss you,” he said. I screamed in my head for him to get out and that he was wrong. “Okay, fine. But I’m not wrong. You’re not selfish. You can’t help it. In fact, you’re stronger than me,” he said.

“What do you mean I’m stronger than you?” I asked.

“You left. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. You think too much about everyone else. For this one time, do what you want,” he told me. Everyone looked at us, very confused.

“What are you talking about?” Rosalie asked.

“If you won’t tell them, then I will,” Edward said, getting fed up with me. “She’s going back to England because she’s in love with a boy there.” The first thing anyone said was Emmet.

“Oh great! Not again. We already went through this with Edward and Bella. Now Carol. Is every vampire in the world falling for humans? It’s ridiculous!”

“Shut up, Emmet!” Edward shouted. “This is hard enough on her without you. She thinks she’s abandoning us and she’s thinking of staying away from him. So why not be supportive of her instead of criticizing everything!” Edward said everything that I was thinking of. Emmet wasn’t helping me make a decision. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to leave my family, but I couldn’t stay away from Harry.

“I can’t leave you all. I’m staying. I can live without him,” I said.

“No, you’re not. You’re going back to England, even if I have to take you there myself,” Edward said. He really wanted this for me. He really knew how much I wanted to be with Harry. I finally accepted to go back.

“Edward’s right,” I said. “I’m going back to England.” Everyone looked at me in sad eyes. That made me feel guilty again and the thought of staying came back.

“No! Don’t even think that for a second. You’re going and that’s that,” Edward said. I banished the thought of staying. Edward was 100% right. I needed to go. Renesme tapped my leg.

“I’ll miss you Carol,” she said. I held her and kissed her head.

“I’ll miss you too, but I need to go back. But I will see you again. I promise,” I said.

“You said that before,” she said.

“And I came through with it, didn’t I?” I would keep my promise. She would see me again. I couldn’t hurt any of them. And with that, I got up to get my bags again.