Ice Hot

Why did I leave my room this morning? I could have faked a sickness. Dumbledore could have helped me with it. But instead, I put on my dark blue jeans, a black sweatshirt and walked right into a bombardment of Harry haters. They all had these animated buttons that said how amazing Cedric is and changed to say how much Harry stunk. This really didn’t help his case seeing as I was trying to sort out our relationship now. I know it was ridiculous seeing as I was in love with him, but I was feeling like this was an unnatural relationship. I was being so stupid! He was meant for me and me alone. I was beyond confused. I wondered how Edward did this. I’d need to write him for advice.
My thoughts were cut short when I saw Harry facing off Draco.

“My father and I have a bet you see,” Draco teased. I really despised him. “I don’t think you’re going to last 10 minutes in this tournament.” He got down from a tree he was sitting on. “He disagrees. He thinks you won’t last five.”

“I don’t give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy.” Harry went up and pushed him. I smiled widely at that. “He’s vile and cruel. And you’re just pathetic.” Harry then walked away. He did a nice job at putting him down. Draco’s face was funny when he was shocked someone just insulted him, prissy boy, but it changed into rage.

“Pathetic?” He took out his wand for Harry. I barley had time to see what happened when one of the teachers acted first.

“Oh, no you don’t, sonny.” He took out his want and changed Draco into a little white ferret. My eyes widened and I didn’t bother to hold back my laughter. “I’ll teach you to cure someone when their back is turned!” He levitated Draco and started to shake him up and down with his wand. “You stinking, cowardly, scummy…” This was all too much. So Draco finally got what was coming to him. And by a teacher nonetheless. Another teacher came over. I knew her. She was… McGonagall. I think.

“Professor Moody!”

“…Back shooting-” he continued to list all of Draco’s flaws.
“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Teaching.” Best teaching method ever.

“Is that a student?!”

“Technically it’s a ferret.” I laughed at that. Moody put Draco into one of his friend’s pants. Everyone started to fall down laughing. I sat on a stone bench so I wouldn’t loose my balance from dying of laughter. Someone else came over and tried to take him out by shoving his hand down the other kid’s pants, that itself was a scene, but Draco bit him. He fell out of the leg of that boy’s pants and fan away. McGonagall ruined the fun by turning him back into a person. He was freaking out ad turned to Moody.

“My father will hear about this!”

“Is that a treat?” Moody started to chase him. The look on Draco’s face was just unforgettable. I would kill to be the one chasing him. But then I wouldn’t be able to see it.

“Alaster. We never use transfiguration as a punishment! Surely Dumbledore told you that.”

“He might have mentioned it.”

“Well you will do well to remember it.” She shooed all the other students away. Moody made a face at her and looked over to Harry. He started to walk away.

“You. Come with me.” Now I was curious. Harry followed him towards my direction. I kept my eyes on Harry until he saw me. He walked up to me. I knew he wanted to say something. This was our first encounter since last night. I wanted to say something too, but I didn’t know what. I looked over his shoulder and saw Moody starting at him. He was getting impatient. He was a little creepy with his bionic eye and scarred up face.

“You should go.” I turned and left him. I was not ready to talk to him yet.

All I wanted was to do was to go back to my room and think. I wasn’t going to get my way today.

“Hey Cullen!” Ron called out to me. I did not want to deal with him today. I was pissed off enough today. “I’m talking to you!” Was he really trying to intimidate me? I had to purposely remind myself he was a friend so I didn’t hurt him. I mean, I did at the moment, but I’d hate myself later. Maybe. “You’re going off to tell Harry how awesome he is before he dies?”
Okay, that’s it! I turned around and Ron saw it in my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood. I took his arm and dragged him over to the tree, away from people’s eyes. I pushed him against it and stared at him for a very long while.

“Are you done?” I asked him. He nodded. I couldn’t help get pulled into his eyes. He was terrified of me right now. I let him go and forced myself to soften. I couldn’t do this to him. I cared too much. “Chill out, Ron. I’m not going to hurt you.” He was still looking scared. “I mean it.” I sat down and he slowly followed. “Okay. Sorry for that.”

“Hey, you’ve had a bad week. I get it.”

“Very bad week.” I sighed and leaned my head against the trunk.

“I’m sorry. I said that. About… you know.” He didn’t want to repeat it and I didn’t want him to.

“Why would you say something that horrible? Harry is your best friend.”

“I’m tired.” I was quiet so he could vent. “I’m tired of being only ‘the friend of the famous Harry Potter.’” Oh, this was what was wrong.

“You think that’s all it is?”

“I know that’s all it is. He’s the most famous person in the world. He gets all the fame and now he’s going to be the youngest contender in the Tri Wizard tournament in the history of the contest. He’ll go down in history as the most amazing person and I’ll just be his lame friend. I mean, if he wasn’t so famous, maybe I could get a girl like you.” He looked up at me, totally embarrassed he said that. I wasn’t upset with him more than I was upset for him.

“Ron, you think that’s why I like Harry?” He went back to looking at the dirt. “You don’t get it. Here, in the magical world, he’s bigger than the biggest. But in the muggle world, if you went up to anyone, they’d he no idea who he was. I didn’t know. I thought he was just another kid. I didn’t know until after someone told me, and I didn’t change how I felt. It just happened.” He wasn’t very convinced. “Have you ever heard the saying ‘love is blind’?” He glanced up at me and nodded. “Well love is stupid too.” I got a chuckle out of him. “If it was meant to be Ron, I swear I would have ended up with you. It just didn’t work like that.” I took his hand. “But I promise on everything good, you’ll find that girl. Who knows, you may find her tomorrow.” He gave me a smile. “Love is silly like that.” He nodded and was quiet to think. “Did I make you feel any better?”

“You made me feel a lot better.” I gave him a tight squeeze. “Now that we’re on the right foot again, let’s talk about you and Harry.”

“What were we just doing then?”

“No, I mean how you’re avoiding him.” Oh. Wait, what? He didn’t know, did he?

“What do you mean avoiding him? I’m not avoiding.” He gave me a look like I was an idiot. I was acting like one. “So what? Something happened; it’s just a rough patch.”

“You shouldn’t have rough patches with him, Carol. You’re too perfect for each other.” I was quiet. I didn’t want to talk to Ron about this. I would handle it later. “Whether you want to hear it or not, it’s obvious something’s up. I’m not going to press into what it is, but know that I have never seen Harry happier than he is when he’s with you. When every you decide what you’re going to do, keep that in mind please?” I didn’t smile and I didn’t look at him.

“Okay, Ron. Thanks.” I got up and went right back for my room before anyone else could say something.

******

I was awake in my bed, not feeling the energy to do anything. I thought of Harry. I thought of Harry a lot. Why was I so scared to get that close to him? I could get so emotional, I could tell him my deepest secrets but I couldn’t get physical. That’s what scared me. Why? It’s obvious; someone can’t die from too much love. They die from a physical accident. Like if I held him too tight.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. I could fight with myself until the day I die that it wasn’t worth it, but it would never work. I’m a selfish creature. I’d put his life in danger just to be near him.
I shouldn’t have been doing this, but I got up and went over to Harry’s room. I pushed his window open and saw him sleeping so peacefully. I shouldn’t, he had the first task tomorrow. He needed his sleep. But what if something happened and…. No. I had to make up with him before that happened. I leaned on his bed and he shifted. I carefully shook him until he woke up. He looked shocked, to say the least, that I was in his room. I bet he thought I was still mad at him. He sat up and I moved back to make some room.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. I took my time to think of the right response.

“I needed to talk to you before tomorrow.” He was quiet so I could start. “I’ve been thinking a lot. And this is what I came up with. I love you, there’s no question about it that I love you with all my heart and soul if I had one.” He was about to object, saying I did have a soul, but I kept going. “But I love you too much. I’ll fight to the last day of the earth to keep you alive and safe. But that’s not going to matter as long as I’m around. I can crush you with one false move. I’m tired of acting like that. I use too much energy holding myself back.” I took a moment so he could think about what I said and so I could finish off with the right words. “But I will. If it means I can be near you again, I’ll try.” The most I could do was try.

I crawled into Harry’s lap and leaned on his chest. He hugged me tight. I felt complete again. I was fully happy. So this was the answer? Just accept that I was in love with a fragile, weak, delicate human? I feel sorry for Edward if this is what he had to go through.

“I’ll always love you,” Harry said. He kissed the top of my head.

“I’m sorry I was so distant. Believe me when I say it was just as painful for me as it was for you.”

“This isn’t the end, is it? You’re always going to fight yourself aren’t you?” he asked.

“Yes. That’s the downside of dating a vampire. She’s always debating whether or not to kill you.” I was slightly serious, but he laughed anyway. “I never will. I’ll find a way to kill myself if I ever hurt you.”

“It’s an illness. You love me too much.” I was quiet.

“You’re right.”