Paradise Lost

Morgan’s house was like Candyland—in fact going there was like constantly having a Kiki, it was one roof with three gay men. Morgan’s dad’s were both beautiful men, with perfectly glossed lips and fantastic hair and they loved nothing more than doting on Morgan’s two beautiful girl friends.

Of course, Jackie was doted on the instant we walked in the door. We only came for this spa dates when she was feeling upset—I liked to be alone when I was upset, because it was only Ordinary Gemma who was upset, never Summer Gemma.

Jackie was sat down, her eyes covered in cucumbers, and her skin and nails instantly were being treated. I found Morgan on the couch reading some gossip magazine and plopped down next to him, checking my own nails. Morgan glanced over at me, and his eyebrows were lifted so far I feared they might disappear into his hairline.

“Don’t think you can escape me, sweetie. This town is full of watchful eyes,” Morgan’s tone was as serious as it would ever get and I was suddenly fearful. I glanced over at him, looking equally as suspicious as him.

“What are you talking about?” Suddenly Morgan’s gossip magazine was across the room and his entire body shifted to point at me.

“I’m talking about your little ice cream date at Dave’s! Melanie Griffith said that she saw you with a boy, a boy who sounded remarkably like Jake, and that the two of you were eating ice cream and being cute and kissing. The Gemma I know doesn’t kiss. The Gemma I know doesn’t even go on dates. Spill, now.”

I felt very much like a fish out of water then, gaping stupidly at my friend. What was the use in lying to him when he already knew? Part of me really wanted to relinquish this whole Summer Gemma façade and just confess that I might actually like this boy. But there was that constant fear of rejection and the constant fear that I might lose my friends because I had been lying this entire time.

“Oh, that. Well, I just figured I’d try something new. It drives the guys wild knowing they can’t have me and a forbidden affair is so much more fun.” I felt as if my chest had just deflated. Someone had popped me and let all the air out because I had just turned Jake into some device to get me laid even more. Reasons like this were the reason I wanted desperately to get the hell out of this place and never come back.

Morgan’s wide eyes fell just a bit but he smiled even wider before slapping me playfully. “Oh girl, you are bad.”