Paradise Lost

The next time I saw Jake I had this terrifying queasiness in my gut. My palms were sweaty and I could feel my heart beating a thousand miles a minute in my throat—it was one of those nerves where the thought of talking made you want to vomit and there was too much spit in your mouth to even get words out. But Summer Gemma had to be in some sort of control while Ordinary Gemma had a nervous breakdown.

Of course everyone was spread out around the bonfire while others danced lazily near the dock—some people were stripping down to dive into the lake and others rolled around lip locked on the grass. Morgan had found Henry Lochlear who was positively straight and certainly had a girlfriend back home but always somehow managed to let Morgan blow him behind the large oak tree out front. Then Jackie was somewhere filling up on some mixed serving of alcohol. Which left me alone.

Alone with Jake that is who seemed to find me pressed against the corner of the living room right next to the stereo. I had a red cup in my hand filled to the brim with Pepsi (I had definitely pretended to fill it with Jack Daniels as well) and my eyes were closed as I swayed to the music. I made sure to make my sways as sloppy as possible so if anyone were to look over at me they could be assured I was at least slightly tipsy.

“Looks like somebody is having a nice time,” his calm voice said and I opened my eyes to see him leaning against the wall opposite me. He was in a red flannel and a pair of surfer shorts; his hair was mussed and he looked tired and I wanted him to kiss me again. I simply smiled instead before nodding slightly and stepped toward him. I didn’t even have to pretend to stumble because being the klutz that I am I managed to trip over my own feet and fall right into his arms.

With a low grunt he caught me, one arm wrapping firmly around my waist while the other clutched my elbow that held my too full drink. It wasn’t a surprise that it had sloshed around everywhere and was now decorating both his and my forearms and shirts.

“Whoops,” I murmured and Jake simply rolled his eyes before taking the cup from me and sipping at it. He pulled away and simply raised his eyebrows at me before setting the cup down on one of the end tables.

“Caught red handed—you no longer can pretend to be drunk around me.” Somehow I wasn’t as concerned by the fact that he had caught me as I felt I should be. Summer Gemma should be completely hammered and flirting with someone, maybe shoving her hand down their pants—but here she was, completely sober in Jake’s arms and completely okay with it.

“Guess you better call the cops on me then,” I muttered, pushing myself away from him and heading further down the hallway. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him following me and I felt oddly pleased. I was used to guys chasing me and saying crude things to me, laying their hands on me in the hopes that I would let them get as far as they heard the guy from the night before had gotten—but no one ever succeeded and yet they acted like they had.

I wanted to turn around and ask Jake what he was thinking following me around like this—was he going to be the next on my growing list of men that said they’d slept with me? What the hell was his agenda because I really hoped I was wrong—everything about this seemed maybe too good to be true?

“Where are you going?” Jake finally said when I walked outside. The air out here was slightly less convoluted than in the house yet there was still smoke everywhere—marijuana and cigarette smoke, and obviously the smoke from the bon fire.

“Away,” I grumbled, not bothering to turn around.

“You don’t have to babysit tonight?” he joked, getting a step closer to walking directly next to me.

“Nope,” I muttered, hoping he would go away. The brief thought of wanting him to kiss me again made my stomach churn and I wanted nothing more than to get away from his obnoxious keen eye and all knowing words. I didn’t want him to say something that was so prophetic and wonderful that it made me question the meaning of life. I just wanted to walk through the woods and cleanse my system of him and get back to Summer Gemma the way things were supposed to be.

“Good, then you can keep my company tonight.”

I wasn’t sure what kind of company he wanted but neither was I prepared to give him. But this was Summer Gemma and I couldn’t exactly turn him away, at least not when everyone was probably watching. So I let him follow me down the path toward the woods and prepared myself to either fight him off or endure it—I wasn’t sure which it would be or if I was ready to handle it.