The Last Something That Meant Anything

Max and Zack have problems. Serious problems. Just like every other relationship out there. They fight over small things, medium things, and big things. If there isn't something to fight about, they find something to fight about. Because in every relationship, whether people want to admit it or not, there is always a peacemaker and a war-maker.That's right. One person finds something to argue about, and the other tries to fix it. It balances the relationship out. If there is no war-maker or peacemaker, or perhaps a war-maker and a war-maker or a peacemaker and a peacemaker, the relationship more often than not doesn't work. It's just the way it is.

The problem with Max and Zack is unfortunately Max's personality. Max is what one would call a bastard. He doesn't seem to care much about anything other than himself. He cares about food, sleep, and sex. And that's pretty much it. Max never cared about being in a relationship. He figured that one night stands would last him until he was about 40. Then, and only then would he settle down. He had numerous guys and girls share his bed with him, and that was so great for Max because that's all he was looking for; fun.

Zack on the other hand, is way on the opposite end of the spectrum. Zack always was one to wear his heart on his sleeve and open up his arms to anyone who was looking to be held. He always had someone in his life to call his own. His heart was so full of love and all he wanted was to be loved back so badly. He had so much love to give, and he gave his heart to many people. But he never kept anyone for too long.

Zack and Max had met on the Vans Warped Tour. Max didn't give a fuck who was on the tour with him and his band, all he wanted to do was play his bass and scream his lungs out to put on a good show. He had heard of All Time Low before, but he didn't know any of the guys. And he didn't even want to.

Zack wanted to know EVERYONE on the our. He wanted to be friends with everybody and exchange phone numbers and twitters and be friendly with the guys from other bands. He was having a blast and he almost didn't want to leave.

Max was taking a nice stroll down by the tents to see if he could get some free food somewhere, preferably a slice of pizza. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Zack, shirtless and sweaty in all his glory. See, Max was very shallow, and he was also very confident. He walked up to Zack and introduced himself.

He never thought in a million years that his one quick fuck with Zack would turn into 10 long months. He never thought that anyone could charm him, never change his mind about relationships. But Zack did. Not because he was trying to...because he was purely Zack- just a boy who knew how to be likable. Max even left his hometown of Nevada to move in with Zack in his apartment in Maryland. And they've been inseparable ever since. But that does NOT mean that things are perfect. Far, far from it.

~

Zack likes living with Max...he loves Max, Max is his boyfriend and he'd do anything for him. Max pays for him when they go out and he helps him cook dinner from time to time. He isn't the neatest person in the world and he lets the house get messy once in a while, but that doesn't change the way Zack feels about him. Zack is blind, when it comes to his boyfriend. He doesn't see him for what he really is. He can't...he refuses. He's always tried to see the best in people. Even when there is nothing good to see at all.

"ZACK WHAT THE FUCK? I CAN'T FIND MY CIGS WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT THEM?!" Zack usually gets screamed at every day, it's the norm.

"I didn't touch them sweetheart, I swear. I'll help you look for them though," he calls to his boyfriend who has traveled up the stairs in a bad mood.

Zack thinks smoking is disgusting, and he hates that Max smokes in their house, but he wouldn't ever tell him he couldn't. Max should be able to do what makes him happy. Just as Zack is allowed to do what makes him happy...sometimes.

Zack sighs when he finds his boyfriends cigarettes on the kitchen counter, right where they always are. He resists his urge to throw them out the window, and finds his boyfriend upstairs sitting on their bed with his hands covering his face.

"Max...baby, what's wrong? Look I found 'em, no reason to get upset?" He sits down next to Max, who grabs his box from him.

"It's not about the fucking cigs, Zack. It's never about that, or whenever else I 'lose' something or when you drive me absolutely nuts or when we have bad sex. It's never about any of that shit, it's...it's about you!"

Zack feels his face get hot. He always gets blamed for everything. No matter what it is. Sometimes nothing even happens and it's his fault. It's Zack's fault that Max has a beer belly, it's Zack's fault that the power goes out during a storm, it's Zack's fault when the dog has an accident on the floor when Max is the only one home to let her out. It's never Max's fault...it's always Zack.

"Me? Max, what are you talking about? I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything. At least not today...and if I did, I'm sorry-"

Max stands up and takes one of his cigarettes out, putting it between his lips and lighting up for the first time since yesterday. He usually calms down once he has his first Marlboro of the day.

"That's fucking it, Zack! You're always fucking sorry. You always own up to shit that you didn't even do," he laughs bitterly and takes a long drag. "...I don't get how you got me into this mess, Z. Really fucking don't. You got me here, in this shitty town away from all my friends and for what? To live with you and 'be' with you for you to think that maybe someday we'll be a big happy family? Fuck, why am I here?"

Zack's lip trembles and he's so confused. "Max, where is this all coming from? I thought...you maybe wanted to be here. I didn't force you to come? I thought...'this' is what you wanted. What am I doing wrong, I...I..just talk to me Max!"

Zack can't hold back his tears anymore, even though crying won't help him this time. Max used to give into Zack's tears but not anymore. The honeymoon stage for them was over long ago.

"We're so god damn different, Zack! I notice it more and more every fucking day of my life. You want to go for a walk and I want to sleep. You want to take a sign language class and the only 'sign' I know is the middle finger. Think about it, you and I...this would have never worked. Not in the long run. Look, Zack...you tricked me...somehow. 7 months ago when we met...you lured me in and now, I want out. I can't take this shit anymore, Z. I've gotta get out of here."

Zack ignores Max blowing smoke in his face. "10, Max. 10 months ago we met. What are you saying?" he can't help but choke on his sobs. "Are you breaking up with me? Over something that's not even a big deal? Yeah Max. We fight...we're different but we're the same too. We're both bassists...we love music...we have a dog who we love. We love each OTHER. What...what is making you feel so doubtful that you have to put on this...this act that you don't give a shit, huh?"

Max finishes his cigarette and smashes the remains in an ash tray. He hates it when Zack cries. It makes him look so ugly, and so inferior. He can't take it anymore...the fighting, the lying, the crying, the sheer emotions that go through him every single day because of Zack.

"7, 10, 20 whatever, Zack. It doesn't fucking matter. And reality check, Z this is a big deal. We're two totally different people who want two totally different things in life. We probably have about 5 fucking things in common that aren't even important. And news flash, Zack, I never once told you I loved you. Because I don't! I know that's not what you want to hear but...I really don't."

Zack covers his face and cries into his hands. How dare Max say something like that to him? He's right...he's never heard those three words come out of Max's mouth but he always got the feeling that Max loved him. They had slow sex sometimes...and Zack swears he could feel the love between them when they did. Max wasn't always such a jerk. Not enough to make Zack leave.

"Fuck you, Max! Why are you doing this? You do not understand how many times I try...and try again to make this work with you. I put up with some of the most stupid crap to keep you happy- if I even do make you happy anymore!" he shakes his head, not grasping what's happening. "...what do I need to do? Just tell me, Max. Tell me what I need to do and I'll do it you don't understand..."

Max steps closer to his boyfriend and looks at him with saddened blue eyes. He doesn't know why he's so vile...he just is...he can't give himself to Zack. Zack can't have all of him.

"You shouldn't have to try so fucking hard, Zack! There's nothing you can do. There's no going back now what's done is done. We had a real bumpy ride but I think it's safe to say the rides finally over. I'll pack all my shit up and leave so you-"

Zack gets up from their bed, tears streaking down his face and desperately crashes his lips with Max's. He pushes him up against their wall and shoves his tongue down his throat. He doesn't want Max to leave...he'd do anything to make him stay. Max tries to push the larger framed boy away from him. "Zack, stop."

Zack ignores the older man and continues to kiss him even though it's obvious he doesn't want to kiss him back. He pulls off his shirt, hoping that his naked torso will turn his boyfriend on...like it always does. That is what got Max's attention in the first place...Zack's smoking hot body. Zack used to be skinny and awkward, but then he got into shape and lost his 'cute' image and replacing it was a 'sexy' image.

"Max please...if this is the last time I get to have you..." Zack starts to unbutton Max's pants, hoping that maybe this could somehow maybe save their fucked up relationship. He knows that it probably won't, but it's worth a try.

Max grabs his boyfriends wrists and tosses him roughly onto their bed. He says nothing; he only holds him down and kisses him. He really wishes he'd stop crying, because he will not be able to have sex with him if he can't stop. Nothing is worse than seeing how pathetic Zack can be in such a common setting. People break up, people get hurt, but they get over it.

"You've gotta stop with the waterworks, Z. Or I can't...I can't. I'm not that much of a son of a bitch."

Zack wipes under his eyes and tries to control his breathing. He takes off Max's shirt and pulls down his pants. Max kicks them off and yanks his boyfriends pants off as well. Max won't lie to himself, he loves looking at Zack naked. He's one of the most good looking guys he's ever got the chance to be with. He's tanned just enough, built just enough, and as just the right amount of tattoos to keep Max's eyes interested. His hair is always styled to perfection, and his teeth are always white. He always looks so clean. So...not like Max.

"Fuck me." Zack breathes, spreading his legs and pulling Max closer to him. He doesn't want this to be the last time. He doesn't want Max to leave him.

They've had their moments where things weren't picture perfect but they got through tough times. Max was happy...he's just choosing not to be at this point. He's thinking of reasons to leave when he should be thinking of reasons to stay. But he'd rather take the easy way out and leave Zack. Leaving is so much easier than sticking it out and trying to make this work.

Max doesn't look for a condom or worry about preparing Zack, he doesn't care that he's hurting him physically as well as emotionally. In Max's mind...Zack deserves it.

Zack's nails scrape down Max's back, making his milk white flesh turn a light pink. "You're such an asshole," he mutters, trying to ignore the searing pain in his bottom.

"You wanted this," he reminds the younger man, thrusting in and out of him without mercy. He does feel bad, because he knows the pain he's experiencing; he's been fucked raw and hard before- before Zack. Before he knew gentleness with...Zack. Before he was loved by Zack.

He never really knew what it took to love someone. He wonders, as he's fucking him so hard he'll probably bleed, he wonders how Zack could love him. He's self-destructing and mean and arrogant and all these things that a person should hate. What is it that Zack sees in him? Does he see flowers and butterflies? He must see a different side of Max...a side that Max doesn't even see himself.

After the pain starts to go away, Zack starts to enjoy himself. And he lets Max know this by moaning and giving him small words of encouragement. "Max...Max, oh! Fuck..."

Max always loves to hear Zack scream his name when they have sex. It's a cockiness thing, and he'll be the first to admit it. He has to admit to himself...he's going to miss hearing his name from Zack's lips.

"Please..." he whispers, looking directly into Max's deep blue eyes. He's pleading for more than one thing, of course. Max can only give him one. "Max..."

Max leans down and kisses Zack, moving a bit slower with his hips. They share a tender moment that is very, very short lived. Max doesn't want this to last long, so he takes it upon himself to find Zack's prostate and slam into it as hard and deep as he can. Zack is screaming so loud that the neighbors will complain. Max doesn't wait for his boyfriend to come first, he selfishly comes inside of him, loving the way his face contorts into pleasure when he comes himself. They very rarely come at the same time...Zack hopes that it's a sign that they can do more together...more than just come at the same time. They can do more things together. Can't they?

The older man doesn't wait any more time, he pulls out of Zack slowly and quickly throws his clothes back on.

"Please don't leave me, Max. Please! We can work it out, I'll do whatever it takes, I swear..." Zack sits up and balls the sheets in his fists. "PLEASE!"

Max shakes his head and bites down on his pierced lip. "We can't, Z. I'll...I'm going to leave now," he nods his head. "I'll come back to get my stuff later, okay?"

Zack begins to cry again. "Y-You tell me that you're sorry, Max! Tell me that you're fucking sorry because you fucking broke my heart! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" he shouts, bringing the covers up to his pain-stricken face. "Don't I at least deserve a fucking apology?"

Max breathes in deep and searches his pockets for his beloved cigarettes. He takes his wallet and his cell phone and his keys. He takes one look at how fucking broken Zack is on their bed, and his bottom lip shakes.

"I'm sorry, Zachary," he whispers, knowing that this boy will not be there when he comes to get his stuff- that this is the last look he's ever going to get at him.

And Zack nods, knowing in his heart that Max means it. This is it. This is how it's going to be. They've passed the point of no return and it's over.