I Wish You Would Step Back From That Ledge, My Friend...

Garrett was likely the only person who stood any chance of understanding the complexities of Sophie’s relationship with James at all. There was no chance that her brothers could comprehend it. They didn’t know enough about Sophie despite their closeness, and they hadn’t taken the time to really acknowledge and befriend James.

Garrett though, he had walked in on a few awkward occasions, witnessing the girl’s heated make out sessions with James or hearing the harsh words that flew between the two. Sophie had to have known that Garrett knew otherwise she wouldn’t have turned to him. She knew that he’d kept quiet about the situation and that on some level that he had to have understood.

She choked lightly on her sobs, lifting her head from Garrett’s shoulder, wiping her tears away with her thumbs. She laughed grimly and a smirk adorned her lips. She didn’t know why she was crying, why she didn’t leave earlier. She didn’t know why she was here, in her parents’ kitchen with her brother’s best friend. “Sorry,” she muttered, unsure of what she was supposed to say, but not wanting the silence to resume.

He nodded, flashing her a concerned look and turning back to his coffee. The beverage was probably cold by now and the idea made him scrunch his nose in distaste. Sophie sighed, turning on the stool to look at him through her glazed over eyes. Her gaze rested on him for a moment before he took notice, glancing over his shoulder and swallowing a mouthful of coffee. “Can I help you?” She turned around quickly, looking away from him.

“What?”

“Why were you here?” she whispered. “You should know better…” he cut her off, lifting her chin to make her look at him.

“Than to be there for someone who needs a friend?” She swallowed the lump forming in her throat, trying desperately to avert her gaze yet again. “Soph,” he began lightly, “you’re a friend and I’m here to listen, alright? I don’t know much, but I know that Pat wouldn’t listen. He’d jump to conclusions and Tim would go on the war path. That isn’t what you need right now. Am I right?” She nodded, looking away as soon as his fingers were no longer brushing against her cheek and chin.

Sophie quickly interested herself in the fabric of her dress, playing with the hem and tracing the embroidery with her index finger. “Stop,” Garrett’s voice came through as a whisper, a slightly agitated whisper. The cotton slipped away from her fingers and she instead began toying with her necklace, lifting the charm to her mouth, fidgeting before dropping it again. He reached for the hand that she’d let fall into her lap, lacing their fingers together and rubbing her palm with his thumb.

“Just like old times, huh?” she spoke quietly. “Hanging out late at night when no one knew, holding hands, just sitting, acting like nothing mattered.” A smile quickly found its way to his lips despite the shake in her voice. “He was always the jealous type. You never were.”

“Sophie,” he whispered, her eyes quickly meeting his, “I’m sorry. I really am. I know it was never me. It was stupid, I should’ve let go.”

“You didn’t come to me, Gar. I went to you.” He squeezed her hand tighter, letting her know he was there for her. “It was always you. And he knew that.” They both gasped, amazed at her confession. It was something she swore to take to the grave, something she’d never told anyone. “Garrett…”

He nodded, unsure of what he was supposed to do. He wanted to hold her, but he’d just done that. He wanted to make everything better; to go back to the start and never exist; to never be there to fuck up her life like he had. “It shouldn’t have been me. He loved you like I never could.”

“You’re right,” she mumbled, hanging her head, wishing she could go back in time and have avoided everything about this situation. Sophie wished that none of this had ever happened, that she could go back in time and get there fifteen minutes earlier. It wasn’t like there had been much of a relationship to salvage, but there was a life worth living.

“I’m really sorry, Soph. I know that all of it is my fault.” She shook her head, holding his hand tighter, tilting her head sideways to lean on his shoulder. “If there was a crime I could turn myself in for, I would.”

“It’s not your fault, Gar,” she whispered, biting her lip. “I made stupid decisions, you just played along.” He turned his head, kissing the top of her head and wrapping a free arm around her.

Their embrace continued for several minutes before he inhaled deeply, ready to speak.
“Sophie,” he paused licking his lips nervously, “Soph, a-as sorry as I am about what James did, as terrible as I feel—and you know I feel terrible—I’m just so glad he didn’t hurt you. We both knew he had a temper, I’m just glad he did what he did quietly; that he didn’t try to hurt you—abuse you—in the process.” He sighed deeply, as if he were relieved that he’d gotten that off of his chest. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if he’d done something to you.”

“Garrett, none of it was your fault. It was mine, and I understand that. I’m not happy about what he did—it was rash, and it was a bad decision, worse than my decisions even—but it was what he felt he had to do. I don’t agree with what he did, but it had to be something else too. We couldn’t have been the only reason he did it.” A frown crept to her lips as she tried to remember that day, there wasn’t much she remembered other than the blood. It was still wet and sticky and warm when she found him.

“No matter whose fault it was, we all should have acted like adults—we are adults.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and unlaced their hands, reaching for her coffee mug.

“What it all boils down to is that we were all wrong.” He nodded in agreement, reaching for his now-cold coffee as well.

“It was all wrong from the start—you and him, even.” She glanced at him, nodding slowly, acknowledging the first serious mistake she’d ever made.