I Wish You Would Step Back From That Ledge, My Friend...

At some point their conversation lulled. In the few seconds it took Garrett to form what would have been his next sentence, Sophie’s eyelids began to droop. He watched her lashes flutter as she fought to keep her eyes open, maintaining a glassy, half-lidded stare at best.

He smiled in spite of the fact that she was slipping into the realm of sleep. He missed this: seeing her talk until she was too exhausted to form words, watching her eyes slip closed, listening to the gentle, subtle way her breathing would hitch and then even out. It was all beautiful to him. It was right in front of him; right within arm’s reach, but it was so intangible. She wasn’t his and her beauty and serenity couldn’t be held in his hand. He thought it much like a butterfly—there for a brief second and then floating away like it had never been there.

Garrett yearned to reach out and touch her; to hold her like he used to. He had a million and one chances and he’d finally gotten it right. But she was in no place to be with him. Her life had been shaken up and broken apart, or so everyone thought. He knew the truth though.

A sigh escaped his chapped lips as he stood, dumping the cold coffee from both of their mugs. He shook his head. He should have just given up on Sophie a long time ago. She didn’t deserve this.

He moved quietly, trying to avoid waking her up as he rinsed the dishes and placed them into the dishwasher. Her mouth was opened slightly, and he knew if he left her like that she’d drool all over the counter.

It was against his better judgment that he strolled over and lifted her into his arms. One arm supported her back and the other slid under her knees. She felt lighter than he remembered. Her body was like a feather in his arms. It was only a matter of seconds before her arms wound around his neck and her head fell to his shoulder sleepily.

A smile floated to his lips as she began mumbling tiredly. “Where are we going?” He kissed the top of her head as he began ascending the stairs. “Garrett?”

“Shh,” he whispered. “I’m just taking you upstairs, you were falling asleep on the counter.” She whined in response, burying her head into the fabric of his shirt. He continued whispering bits of conversation to her, but she was oblivious. She was far too tired and her thoughts were much too far away.

Her shallow, semi-conscious breaths tickled the skin near the crook of his neck, driving him even more insane. He could feel the heat radiating from her skin and he could hear the gentle beating of her heart, and it made controlling himself almost painful. All he could remember were the nights that they spent together, his hands trailing across her smooth, supple skin in a way that was so sinful he thought he’d be struck dead on the spot.

The memories though, were so bittersweet, because then he had to remember losing her. He had to feel her slipping away from him again, his heart tearing into a million pieces. It was quickly about the pain; that dreadful feeling that it was all over, and not the way she felt beneath him, every inch of their bodies touching. It didn’t matter that he could remember the way her back arched. It didn’t make a difference that he remembered the way her skin flushed under his touch. All he could remember now was losing her.

His thoughts were soon broken, as she whispered into his skin the words he’d longed to hear fall from her lips for so long. “I love you Garrett.” She tilted her head, burrowing further into the crook of his neck, “you know that though, right Garrett?” His lips pulled into a straight line, his teeth grinding together, as he tried to avoid acknowledging her question. “Right babe?”

“Of course I know,” he whispered dejectedly in reply. “Of course I know you love me, that’s exactly what got us into this situation in the first place.” He kissed the top of her head again, solemnly pushing open her bedroom door and trading lightly across her carpet. “And you know I love you too, right?”

Her head nodded tiredly in reply as he detangled himself from her, dropping her onto her bed gently. He pulled the blanket over her and she curled into it, tossing and turning; restless as ever. He turned to walk away, glancing back quickly before he reached the doorjamb.

He was turning back, almost across the threshold when she called out to him. Her voice was gentle and tired, her eyes half-lidded as her turned back reluctantly. “Garrett, stay.” He sighed, shaking his head, reaching toward the door. “Please, don’t leave me alone. Stay with me.” It was her final words, the ‘stay with me,’ that caught his attention and tugged at his heart strings. So he did what any teenage boy would do. He closed the door, stepping back into her room and crossed the room to her bed.

His arms wrapped around her protectively like they used to, and her body fit perfectly against his. He felt her breathing even out as she drifted into a less fitful sleep, eventually nodding off himself. This was how it should have been, he thought. This was always how it should have been.

But nothing ever worked out how it should. And now she belonged to no one. She was broken and tarnished and he couldn't help but still love her like she was the most perfect thing in the world. She was, she was the most perfect thing he'd ever seen. Fragile like glass and tough like rocks, she shined like gold but held the worth of platinum.