I Wish You Would Step Back From That Ledge, My Friend...

It was incredibly rare that Sophie felt uncomfortable in Garrett’s presence. He had always had a calming effect on her, making her feel loved and appreciated. But right now it was entirely different. Right now Garrett was wearing an expression that Sophie had never seen before and it truly frightened her.

He blinked a few times, opening and closing his mouth, completely unable to form a sentence. It was killing her. She didn’t know what to say to fix her revelation because she’d been trying to cope as well. “Y-you had an abortion?” he muttered, looking away from her and focusing on a spot on the wall momentarily. She couldn’t be totally sure if he sounded more angry or sad. “Jesus, Sophie, did you ever even plan on telling me?” he shook his head.

“Garrett,” she whispered, her voice on the verge of cracking, “Garrett, it wasn’t like that, baby, I swear.” She tried to hold his gaze, but he refused. She reached for his hand, but he pushed her away, looking anywhere but her face. “Garrett, listen to me,” she choked.

His jaw stiffened when he turned and she seriously believed that he was about to slap her. “Why should I listen to you now? You didn’t even want to tell me that you were carrying my child before you killed it, so why should I listen to you now?”

“Because it wasn’t like that!” she yelled, her voice cracking, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “It wasn’t—I didn’t—and he…it wasn’t my fault.”

He wanted nothing but to believe her. She was his everything and he didn’t want to fight. He wanted to hold her until this all passed, but he was too angry. “Don’t even try and blame this on him, Soph. Not this time. You didn’t even tell me.” It was killing him to see her upset and teary eyed.

“Gary, please, you know how he was. Garrett,” she paused, her words had escaped her and she was struggling to piece her thoughts together. “He didn’t go as peacefully as you thought.”

His eyes darted from the wall to her hands, twisting apart and together in nervousness. He flinched, unsure if he should reach out to her or not.

It took him a minute to decide he wasn’t going to reach out to her. “Garrett, please, you have to believe me. I was going to tell you. But it was over before I even figured out what to say to you.” She couldn’t look up at him. “I didn’t even get to wrap my head around it, Garrett.”
“What the fuck did he do?” His arms hung at his sides as he walked back toward the bed. “What happened?”

“I-I can’t Garrett.” The tears spilled over. Her cheeks became painted red, her hair quickly matting and sticking to her forehead. “Just, it’s all over, okay? It’s not easy for me either, okay?” she croaked looking up at him. “Garrett, there was another person growing inside me. Garrett, and-a-and now it’s just over.”

He kneeled down in front of her, watching her fold up with her arms around her legs. He reached out to her, cupping her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “I know baby,” he whispered sadly. “I’m sorry I yelled, babe, I should’ve seen that you were hurting. I shouldn’t have made it all your fault.”

“But, Gar, don’t you see? It is my fault. It’s my fault because I—because I fucking let him find out.” She licked her lips, sniffling and desperately trying to regain composure. “It was my—it was our baby, Garrett. I should have protected it better. I shouldn’t have—.”

“Soph, babe, come on, if he—if he forced you to do this, o-or if he did something to you, then babe, baby, it isn’t your fault.” He stood slowly, and then lowered himself onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

Sophie fell into him, her arms winding around his neck, her nails digging into his skin from holding on. “I’m sorry.” She gasped for air, trying to list the ways she wasn’t responsible, but she couldn’t. If James had never found out everything would be different.

“It’s not your fault,” he cooed, rocking her back and forth, urging her to lie back down and calm down. “Baby, please. What happened?” He kissed her hair and inhaled her scent quickly. “What happened to you? What did that bastard do?”

She shook her head and curled into him, closing her eyes. “Garrett, later. Okay? I can’t do this right now.” She sighed, feeling his warm breath on her neck. “I know that you’re upset, but I’m sorry. It isn’t easy for either of us, and I know that. Let’s just, I don’t know, let’s just go back to sleep for now.”

“But, Soph…” He exhaled sharply a she kissed his collarbone. “We just woke up.”

“Gar, but I really just want to cuddle right now. I’m tired and frustrated and things have just been crazy and I can’t talk about this.” She buried her face in his chest and squeezed her eyes shut. “I love you, but some things need to be sorted out and I’m in no frame of mind to do that right now. Babe, please?”

He nodded gently, pulling her closer to him, kissing her hair and resting his chin on her head. Sleeping wasn’t something either of them were likely to do, but the calm was something they both needed.