Goodbye Won't Do

She stood before him wretched and exhausted from tears and heartache. He never realized the impact of pain he can cause on her, let alone feel. He especially never knew he would feel this much amount of rage inside him. This amount of hurt and pain he felt is agonizing; blood shedding. He didn't want to think anything of himself at this moment, anything that had to deal with him just Kayla. She has her knees bent on the cold ground behind one of Kayla's parents businesses. They both could hear the cars driving through the highway and the soft whispers of the night. They once found those sound enthriving and exhilarating, but being in their situation right now is pretty edgy. Craven could hear he whimpers and cries she desperately tried to hold in, she hugged her stomach so tightly as if she was holding onto dear life. Her life is shattered and he blames himself for it and something inside him knew she blamed him too. She still remains crumpled on the floor only in a pair of black stockings, a grey romper dress, purple glossy flats, and a long sleeve purple cardigan. Her hair was disheveled and messy far from how she left her house with. Looking at her now Craven noticed how cold she still shivered and all he could do was sigh out loudly. She peeked up only to look back down when she caught him staring back at her. Craven shook off his sweater and slowly walked towards her so she could get use to the idea of him being near, he drop down to his knees and wrapped his sweater around her and pushed the front of her bangs to it's right place.
"Do you love her?" She asked for the first time. Craven paused and took another deep breath. He didn't want to hurt her anymore, he didn't want her to cry over something pathetic like him, but he also didn't want to lie to her.
"In truth. Yes, I do." She coughed another cry, but sucked it back in.
"By any chance do you love me? At all?" This time she looked Craven dead in the eye and right in that instant his heart melted. Her eyes spoke so many thoughts she couldn't do herself. She felt she was going to die at any moment, she didn't know how to breathe nor could she smile. She didn't care about what she wears or how she'll look when she walks out the door. Even if she looks like a wreck and a mess in his eyes she's still the most beautiful thing he has ever layed eyes on.
"You know I do. I will always love you." He smiled, running his palm on her cheek.
"Then why do you do this? Why hurt the ones you love? And the ones who love you?" He watched the tears slide down her face and he could automatically feel the tears about to fall down his face, but he did everything he could to hold it in.
"Because I'm stupid and I'm a cheater. I'm confused and my heart doesn't know who to love." He did his best to honestly explain his situation.
"And this is why I'm doing this. This is why I'm breaking up with you. I cannot... NO, I refuse to love someone knowing I'm giving him everything I got and I'm not getting everything in return. I will not share you, I will not share my time and share you with another girl and if I cannot have you wholly, I must let you go." She grieved with tears.
"Your leaving me?" He asked in sudden shock.
"No, I'm not leaving you. I'm still here for you whenever you need me, whenever you hurt I'll be here to comfort you through your times of trouble. I'll be your best friend, but in true fact you left me."
"I'm sorry, Kayla." His sanity was slipping, he had very little left of him to contain it.
"Just promise me one thing?" She forced a smile. He hated her fake smiles.
"Anything."
"Be happy. Be the best you can be. I'm breaking up with you because I want you to figure out what you want and to figure out yourself. Can you do this for me, Craven?"
"How can I be happy when I know you will be miserable?" Kayla witnessed his tears falling down his cheeks. She caught it with her finger tip and smiled the brightest smile she can give. She pushed his shoulder lightly and giggled, "Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." He dropped his head down feeling like a failure. "Yes, you're a big girl."
He felt her soft fingertips lift his chin up to come face to face with her.
"Hey!" she faked her happiness, "You will always be my number one boy no matter what."
"You're my number one girl, always." She looked around feeling pathetic in her own skin and stood off the ground and wiped her face angrily.
"Oh my gosh, I feel stupid. Crying like a little baby." She dusted her clothes off. She turned around to see Craven trying his best to stand on his two feet.
"Since this is the last day of me and you as boyfriend and girlfriend can I take you somewhere? If you want." Kayla smiled on Craven's persistence and nodded.
"Where are you going to take me?"
"Your favorite in this godforsaken place." Suddenly she felt excited. They both hoped inside his car after locking up Kayla's parent's movie store.
It took fifteen minutes to arrive at the place she called "Safehouse." She called it Safehouse because it is an abandon cabin home in the middle of a small forest down a small trail. Kayla found it when she was a little girl and came here since then. She'd always climb to the top of the roof and scream how she desperately feels; a place where she feels safe. When she brought Craven here to her special place around a year ago he promised her to take this home and renovate it from the ground up so her home could be her favorite place in the world. She smiled just thinking about it.
They both sat next to each other with a couple of inches in between having small pieces of conversations here and there and done everything they can to avoid the emptiness and awkwardness inside. They didn't realize the time until Kayla's brother called and warned her to be home soon. Craven did the gentleman thing to do and dropped her home safely and walk her to the door.
"Umm... besides the tears and awkwardness I enjoyed tonight." Kayla expressed.
"Yes, any day with you is a enjoyment for me." Craven stuck his hands in his pockets and stood tall.
"Well, Goodnight Craven." She waved. He looked at her dumbfoundly and opened out his arms. She walked into the shelter of his embrace and quickly felt at home, quickly felt whole. He undone his hug and kissed her on the forehead, "Goodnight Kayla, sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams." He watched her open her front door and closed it quietly behind her.

She had her back against the door listening to his footsteps get inside his car and reversing out of her driveway, tears slowly started to roll down her face, but chocked in every single sob. Inside the living room she could hear her brothers playing online games on the flat screen screaming because they lost. Trying to avoid them she slowly walked up the stairs avoiding her brothers and any possible visitors they might have. She failed.
"Were you with Craven?" Ryan asked strictly.
"Yes," she shivered not looking back.
"What did that prick want from you?" Those words nailed her in the gut.
"Ryan?!" Kayla could hear Selene advising Ryan to leave her alone. Selene has always been the helpful cousin and therapist.
Ryan sighed, "Did you have fun?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did you enjoy yourself?" Ryan asked disgustingly.
"Somewhat." Kayla's tears began to fall. Kayla heard the game being paused.
"Ryan let her go, she's a big girl." Her twin brother Zacharie did his best to bail her out. A huge weight lifted off her shoulders.
"I don't like him. I hate him." Ryan spitted out.
"And we don't need you opinion if you like him or not," Selene lectured.
"Can I go now?" Kayla chocked out. Her back still facing them.
"Sure.." Zacharie suddenly felt sad. As a twin brother it's his duty to know what his sister feels, what she's going through. He can hear her at crying to sleep at night. A couple of time he goes into her room to aid her and be the comfort she needs him to be, but there's sometimes he can't do much for her, but let her cry.