This Blood Is Gonna Wake the Night

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"You sure?" Bert questioned, loading the final bag into the trunk of the car.

"Mmhm, I'm fine," I replied "How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, I-I'm okay!"

I managed a smile and seated myself in the passengers seat of the car patiently. Bert got in the drivers seat and started the car up. He glanced at me briefly as if he were checking I wasn't looking at him or planning to kill him. I forced a smile and looked at the road in front of me.

Bert continued to strike up a conversation but nothing really appealed to me. Until he asked about my family, that is.

"So, what's your family like?" He questioned.

"Amazing," I gushed "I had the best parents ever! And a brilliant little brother!"

"I have a brother," He smiled "And great parents!"

"Something in common," I nodded. . .

. . . We arrived in New York not long after. And I didn't like it that much. It was loud and smelly and over-populated. There were lots of flashing lights and big flashing signs. Everything was so modern and high tech. I felt frightened and out of my depth. I shrank back into my seat to try and block the scary world out.

Bert glanced at me every so often and repeatedly asked if I was okay. I nodded insistently, even though I was secretly terrified. Why had the world changed so much? Why did it have to do this to me?

We pulled up in the train station parkling lot and Bert guided me outta' the car and towards the looming building. Women dressed in ridiculous clothes were winking at me and asking something about 'Good times'. Their skirts barely covered their underwear and their shirts were so low-cut they might as well have gone without one.

"Here, sit, okay?" Bert ordered, sitting me on a bench.

I nodded and he walked off to the ticket desk.

A woman sat down next to me, licking her lips and crossing her legs. She looked at me and smirked. I ignored her and stared straight ahead, looking at birds out the window.

"Hi," She purred.

"Hello."

"You're looking good," She smirked "Looking for a good time?"

"No," I replied calmly.

"I bet you are really," She insisted, running her fingers up my thigh like a little pair of legs "You're just shy."

"No," I lied.

"Or committed."

"No."

When she reached the top of my leg, I slapped her hand away meaningfully. She didn't let it faze her and made the same move again, purring about me being shy and promising she wouldn't tell anyone. I edged away from her and slapped at her hand again. She let it rest on my thigh, stroking every so often.

Thankfully, Bert returned and 'politely' asked her to leave me alone. He shook his head after her as she slinked off and found some guy in a business suit. The guy sent her away too and she looked more annoyed than ever.

"You wanna' avoid women like that!" Bert insisted.

"I'll try to."

He laughed and handed me a small ticket.

"That's your ticket, okay? You know what to do now?"

"I think so."

"Well, some guy will ask you for your ticket when you're on the train. Give it to him and he'll clip it or write on it or something so that you can't use it again. Then you wait until the train gets to Jersey. Get off at Belleville and here's some cash to get a cab to your parents house, okay?"

"Thank you," I gushed, tears welling up in my eyes "You've been really good to me, Bert! If you ever need anything-"

"Just keep in touch," He cut in, slipping a little white card into my pocket.

I smiled.

"I guess this is it," Bert said awkwardly.

"I guess so."

"You take care, alright?"

"I will," I smiled.

He opened his arms and pulled me into a hug. I squeezed him back, depriving him of all oxygen. He laughed and made a gagging sound. So I released him and, after one more quick smile and a goodbye, dashed off to board my train.

It was quite crowded in the train, so I found an empty table at the back of one of the compartments and sat down at it. I curled up on one of the seats and rested my head against the cool glass, staring out the window. Then the train started moving.

"Sir," A voice said "Your ticket please."

Everything outside was a blur.

"Sir, your ticket!"

"What? Me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, erm. . . hold on it's in my pocket!"

And I showed the man my ticket. He clipped it and gave it back to me. I smiled and said thank you and he said thank you as well.

Two men were sitting on the other side of the train to me. One of them had longish black hair with a long fringe that he brushed back every so often. He had a slight pallor to his skin but nothing compared to me. The man sitting next to him had shorter brown hair and fairly tanned skin. He was clutching the other man's arm and giggling and resting his head on his shoulder.

The one with black hair looked at me. I stared back too. His lips twitched and he directed a small smile in my direction. So I smiled back politely.

And then the other noticed and turned his head so he wasn't staring at me anymore.

"No staring at other men," He giggled.

"I wasn't; I was just being friendly! Besides, you're the only one for me, babe!"

They kissed quickly and I shook my head, turning to look back out the window as New Jersey got ever closer.