Earthquake

Without you is how I disappear.

I. Love. You.

Three simple words that I have never said. Three syllables that my mouth has never formed. That my mouth cannot form. No matter how much I long to say those words. No matter how much I long to tell Frank that I love him; I can't. The words never come.

Love is cruel, like me. How could I have cause him so much pain and anguish? All these years I spent suffering, I never realized that I had dragged Frank with me. I hurt him.

"Frank?" I whispered to him.

"Yes?" Frank smiled back at me.

"I'm leaving," I said avoiding his gaze.

"Okay. Where are you going? I'll come with you."

I shook my head. He didn't understand. I was leaving him forever.

"No, Frank you can't come. I'm leaving you. I don't love you," I said tripping over those last few words.

"Emerson..." he looked at me.

I could see how my words tore at his heart and ripped it to shreds. They ripped mine to shreds too. Some of those words were lies; I did love him. I do love him. What else could I say? Without those words he would never let me leave.

"Tell me you don't mean that!"

His face was tormented and scared. I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I do love you.

"Emerson. Please."

I stood up and left. I knew I had pierced his heart, but he would get over it and move on. Wasn't a week of suffering better than a life time?

I can't hurt you anymore.