With These Words

I tucked my phone back in the front pocket of my apron. I’d spent the past fifteen minutes using the calculator as I tried to figure out how long I could support myself if I quit my job. Things weren’t looking good.

“Is it almost quitting time?” Andy asked taking one of his head phones out of his ear.

“Andy, we opened two hours ago. We don’t get off for a long time.”

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall.

“Plus,” I drummed my fingers on top of my register. “You’ve had like two weeks of paid vacation.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “And you’ve had hour long breaks every day with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boy---” I stopped. Over the past few months that response had become so habitual. It was like a reflex. People insisted Kyle was my boyfriend, I repeatedly told them he wasn’t.

Andy raised his eyebrows and waited for me to finish.

“I mean, yeah,” I nodded. “Lots of break time.”

He shook his head and put his headphone back in again. I was going to have to get better at that.

Like clockwork, Kyle pushed open the glass doors and lifted his hand in a wave.

“Hey,” I smiled.

Andy mumbled something and headed to the back room.

“What’s up?” I asked brushing off the front of my t-shirt in case there was any cookie dough left over from this morning.

“Awesome news,” He smiled widely.

I looked up at him. A knitted hat hid his wild hair and his eyes danced with excitement.

“We just met with some people from the label,” he leaned on the glass counter. “And we’re going to start recording a new album in a few weeks.”

“That’s awesome!” I smiled and leaned on the other side of the counter. “Are the other guys excited?”

“Definitely,” He nodded. “So what do you think? Would you be up for some long hours at the studio with me? And if you tell me you have to work, I’m going to walk right in there and tell your boss your quitting,” He pointed to the closed door at our left and gave me a grin.

“Well unless you want me sleeping in a box and living off of the dollar menu at McDonald’s,” I sighed. “I kind of need this job.”

His brows knitted together. “You’re really that low on cash?”

“Well it’s not like I need handouts,” I lifted myself off of the counter. I hadn’t meant for my words to come out that defensive, but they did.

“Whoa,” he stood up as well. “I wasn’t offering. I Just didn’t know you really needed this job.”

“I’m just figuring things out,” I told him. “It’s not like I want to be bakery girl forever.”

He nodded and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

For some reason this annoyed me. “I’m sorry I don’t have my life all mapped out like you do.”

“What are you talking about?” He leaned on the counter so our eyes were level. “I’m so confused. I came in here to tell you about the new record, and now you’re all upset?”

“No,” I sighed. “It’s just becoming more and more evident that I don’t have much ambition.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I have ambition,” I shrugged. “I guess I’m just super slow getting around to it.”

After graduation I’d decided I was going to attend Arizona State college. It was perfect. They had a great Journalism course, the major I was interested in, and a beautiful campus. But, one thing led to another, scholarships fell through, and I had decided to wait a year and save up money. Hence, applying to the bakery.

But here I was, now almost twenty one years old, still working at the bakery. I’d completed a few online classes the community college down the street offered, but that was about it.

It’s not that I had forgotten about Arizona State, different opportunities just came by.

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I was planning on majoring in Journalism at Arizona State but…” I shrugged again.

He nodded like he understood. “It’s not too late.”

“Kyle, I can’t just drop everything and move to Arizona. My whole life is here.”

“Isn’t that what you did when you moved here from Iowa?”

“This is different.”

“Then don’t go to Arizona,” he shrugged it off. “Stay here. Take courses online. Go to community school.”

I sighed deeply through my nose.

“They’re just suggestions,” he held his hands up. “Don’t go if you don’t want to. I just don’t want to see you upset,” He offered me a small smile.

I wasn’t sure why I just now chose to today to be concerned with where my life was headed, but I had. “I’m sorry I kind of wrecked your good news…”

He took my hands in his and smiled again. “Do you want to do something tonight?”

“With the guys?” I asked as his thumbs made small circles on the back of my hands. They were rough and calloused from drumming.

“We could,” he weighed his options. “Or…just me and you. Whatever you want.” He smiled again.

“I’ll do whatever,” I shrugged. I was still thinking about college and my future.

“When do you get off?”

“Four,” I grumbled. I looked at the clock again. It was only 9:20. This was going to be a long.

“Well…I could pick you up at four, and maybe we could go get something to eat?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. “That’s fine.”

He smiled again. “Four it is.” He leaned over the counter and placed a small kiss on my cheek.

“You better not forget this time,” I warned him with a smile.

“You have my full assurance that I won’t,” he promised and headed back towards the front door.

It kind of didn’t seem fair. Kyle was twenty five, pretty much had his dream job, and he knew exactly where his life was headed. He would make another record with his friends, it would sell millions of copies, and he’d get to sit back and relax while the numbers in the bank got bigger and bigger.

I didn’t resent his success…I only wished I could be as lucky.

::;::

During my lunch break I decided to walk up the street to the deli to get a sandwich. It was cheap, and pretty much all I could afford.

“Georgia?” Someone said when I pulled open the front door. The cool air conditioning hit me in the face. “What are you doing here?”

Caleb pushed his chair back against the black and white tiled floor and stood up. He was eating with Haley and Austin.

“Hey,” I smiled and pushed some stray hairs back into their place.

He surprised me with a hug. “What a coincidence.”

“Yeah,” I laughed and patted his back. “I guess it is.”

“We were just discussing the new recording hours,” Austin informed me.

“Kyle told you, right?” Haley raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” I nodded and gave Caleb another smile. “How exciting.”

“I know,” he squeezed my hand. “Here, come sit down,” he stole a chair from a nearby table and placed it next to his.

“Oh, I don’t know if I can really stay…” I looked towards the door. “I’ve got a pretty short break today.”

“Oh, please,” Haley rolled her eyes. “I doubt there’s a huge rush at the bakery at one in the afternoon.”

I took this into consideration.

“And besides,” she leaned back in her chair. “I’m sure if there is a rush for some bizarre reason, that other guy, the creepy one, he can handle it.”

“Andy,” I told her.

“Andy,” she repeated.

“What do you want?” Caleb asked pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. “It’s on me.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” I reached into my purse.

“Come on, Georgia!” he laughed. “I’m a big rock star, right? I think I can afford a sandwich for a pretty girl.”

“Ok,” I felt myself blushing. “If that’s what you want.”

“I want,” he assured me.

“I’ll take whatever then,” I shrugged and sat down. I took my purse off my shoulder and set it down next to me.

“Whatever it is,” he smiled and headed towards the front counter.

“You better hope ‘whatever’ is edible,” Haley smirked.

“Oh, gosh, I hadn’t even thought of that,” I laughed. I remember the first night I’d met Caleb and he offered to make me and ice cream sundae. It was…interesting.

“So what’s bakery life like?” Austin asked taking a sip from his drink.

“You know,” I shrugged. “Kind of dull actually.”

He nodded like he understood. “That’s cool. I guess.”

Haley spun the straw of her drink around with her finger. “So…” she smiled at Austin. “Are you and Kyle doing anything tonight?”

I shrugged and watched Caleb talking to the man at the register. He laughed in a charismatic way and soon they were both laughing. “We might be. I don’t know,” I tore my eyes away from Caleb and looked back to Haley. “Why?”

“Well…” She drug the word out. “Maybe you would want to double with Austin and I.”

I looked from her to Austin and raised an eyebrow. “Like a date?”

Austin smiled and slipped his arm around the back of Haley’s chair. “I sorta asked her out.”

“It’s about time!” I laughed.

“What’s about time?” Caleb asked returning to the table. He set a massive sandwich in front of me and took his seat.

“I asked this beautiful woman out on a date,” Austin said while I examined the sandwich.

“You don’t say,” Caleb smiled and scooted his chair closer to me.

“Stop,” Haley blushed pushing some hair behind her ear.

“So…what is this?” I looked at Caleb.

“Only the most amazing sandwich you will ever have the pleasure of eating,” he grinned.

“You really should have told him what you wanted,” Haley reminded me taking a jalapeño pepper that had fallen.

“Yeah, maybe,” I laughed.

“Come on, just try it!” He sat on the edge of his seat. “You’re totally going to love it. I promise.”

“Promise, huh?” I picked up the sandwich and stared it down.

“Yes,” he touched my arm. “You have my word.”

“Alright….” I took a bite from the corner.

::;::

Kyle met me the door of my bakery.

“Wow, four exactly. I’m impressed, Mr. Burns.”

He held his arms open for a hug. “What can I say?” he smiled.

I wrapped my arms around his middle. “I’m probably getting cake batter all over you shirt right now,” I warned him.

He didn’t let me go. “You still want to go out?” His chest rumbled when he spoke.

“Sure,” I yawned.

“The thing is…” he played with the ends of my hair. “My mom called me as I was driving here and they want to have dinner…”

“Oh,” I pulled away and looked at him. Parents were something I was not good at. “Ok,” I bit my lip. “Sure.” I mentally made a list of the things I’d have to do. Change, definitely. Do something with my hair. I hoped Kyle wouldn’t mind waiting while I showered…

“Awesome,” he squeezed my shoulder and unlocked the doors to his jeep. “I knew you’d be cool about it.”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Of course.”

He pulled open the passenger side door and I climbed inside.

“So the guys are at my house if you want to hang with them,” he told me as he started the car.

“What?” I looked over at him. “Two seconds ago he told me we were having dinner with his parents.

“I didn’t think you’d want to spend tonight alone after I promised to take you out,” he gave me a smile before pulling out into traffic.

“What about dinner?” I asked slowly. “With your parents?”

“What?” Not it was his turn to be confused.

“I thought we were eating with your parents.”

“We?” he turned down his stereo.

“Oh,” it finally clicked. I wasn’t invited.

“What?” He repeated. He looked over at me. “You want to clue me in, Georgia.”

“I thought,” I blushed and looked at my hands. “I thought we were having dinner with your parents. You and me. But…apparently it’s just you…”

“Oh,” his brows furrowed together. “Well I mean…did you like, did you want to come?” he glanced over at me again. “I just thought that since we hadn’t been dating for so long that maybe you wo----”

“No, no you’re totally right,” I assured him. “This is better.”

“You sure?” He rested his hand on my knee. It still gave me butterflies.

“Yep,” I nodded and told my self to calm down.

“Do you want to go to my house and hang with the guys?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Sure.”

He turned back up the stereo and switched lanes.

“You sure you’re not upset?” he asked pulling up behind Caleb’s motorcycle. “I mean, you still can come…” He turned off the car and faced me. “I just had no idea that you would be into that,” he cleared his throat. “So soon…”

“No,” I shook my head and gave him a smile. “It would probably be weird….this is fine,” I assured him. I undid my seatbelt.

“I’ll pick you up soon,” He nodded. “This dinner thing shouldn’t last too long.”

I smiled again. “I’ll be here.”

He reached over and touched my cheek. “Thanks for being so chill, Georgia.”

“You to?”

He moved closer and let his lips hover over mine. “I’ll see you later.” He kissed me softly. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

“I’ll try not to,” I whispered against his lips.

He pressed his forehead against mine. “Tomorrow we’ll hang out, ok?”

I nodded. “Deal.”

He laughed and slipped his hand behind my neck, kissing me again. He moved closer, gently pushing me back against the window.

I intertwined my fingers in his already messy hair and pulled him closer.

“Hope I’m not…interrupting anything?” someone snorted from outside the window.

I shoved Kyle away and instantly ran my hands over my hair. Jonathan was standing outside laughing through his hand. “Geeze, guys.”

Kyle sighed and started the car again. “I’ll be back soon, ok?” he gave me a sheepish smile.

Still furiously blushing, I pushed open the door and stepped onto the driveway.