Status: Active...maybe...kinda...sorta
It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!
He's a Man Slave. He Has No Say in the Matter
“So how hung over were you?” I asked Carmen as we sifted through the clearance rack of the Forever 21.
“Not too badly. I have a killer head ache, but not so bad that I can’t go shopping! This top is soo cute! I love it! How about you?”
“I got sick this morning, but it wasn’t too bad. The police were never called you know?”
“Yeah. I figured that one out after I waited in a tree for an hour.”
“HAH! You waited in a tree?”
“It wasn’t my most shinning moment, but my night went better than Melissa’s.”
I shook my head disapprovingly, “What happened now?” something dramatic happened to Melissa whenever she was drunk. Or when she was not drunk. Basically, something dramatic was always happening to Melissa. She was like a soap opera you could watch whenever, even if you didn’t have a satellite dish or digital cable.
“YOU DIDN’T SEE THE VIDEO?” Carmen laughed as we headed towards the checkout line. “Here!” she quickly pulled up You Tube on her I-phone.
There under most popular videos was Melissa, topless, and dancing. Dancing badly on a table. Dancing badly on a table until she fell off the table.
I shook my head disapprovingly again.
“She always manages to lose some article of clothing when she’s drunk.”
“What did you do last night at the party, by the way,” Carmen lowered her voice and leaned in.
“You and Carter disappeared for quite some time. Actually, come to think of it, I only saw both of you at the beginning of the night.”
“Oh. Well, for one. Kevin Zimmerman has Looney Toon sheets. Don’t tell anyone.”
Carmen bursted out laughing, and gasped out, “HE DOES? That’s hilarious!”
“And Two.”
Carmen leaned in even closer.
“Carter is terrible at taking off bras.”
Carmen squealed, giggled, and clapped.
“OH. MY. GOD. You let him get to second!”
“Oh course! Boob gropeage is awesome!”
“So did it just take him forever to take off your bra? Estimated minutes?”
“Well, he more broke it!”
“AH!” Carmen giggled again.
“Yeah!” I scowled and cross my arms over my chest. “It was my favorite bright green bra too!”
“He must’ve been so happy! He’s wanted to touch you for so long.”
“Yes, let’s make my relationship seem creepy.”
“So you guys just got to second?”
“Well, Kevin Zimmerman busted in on us during the act.”
“That sucks!” she exclaimed before turning to interact with the cashier. “So would you have gone further with him?” she probed, once we were out of line.
“I wanted to, but I wouldn’t have.”
“Well, why not?”
“Doing so would give Carter the upper hand, and if he is to be my man slave I can’t have that.”
“Man slave?” Carmen cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah. Basically, he pleases me sexually and nourishes me with paying for dinners. I call him around when I need him, and he adores me all the time. It’s a perfect situation.”
“I like the way you think! Well, are you and the slave doing anything tonight?”
“I dunno. He hasn’t called me yet.”
“Well, would you be interested in going on a double date with me and Brian?”
“Sounds like a plan! Can we see something girly that will make them squirm?”
“Yeah, but shouldn’t you ask if Carter if he’s game?”
“He’s a man slave. He has no say in the matter.”
“Not too badly. I have a killer head ache, but not so bad that I can’t go shopping! This top is soo cute! I love it! How about you?”
“I got sick this morning, but it wasn’t too bad. The police were never called you know?”
“Yeah. I figured that one out after I waited in a tree for an hour.”
“HAH! You waited in a tree?”
“It wasn’t my most shinning moment, but my night went better than Melissa’s.”
I shook my head disapprovingly, “What happened now?” something dramatic happened to Melissa whenever she was drunk. Or when she was not drunk. Basically, something dramatic was always happening to Melissa. She was like a soap opera you could watch whenever, even if you didn’t have a satellite dish or digital cable.
“YOU DIDN’T SEE THE VIDEO?” Carmen laughed as we headed towards the checkout line. “Here!” she quickly pulled up You Tube on her I-phone.
There under most popular videos was Melissa, topless, and dancing. Dancing badly on a table. Dancing badly on a table until she fell off the table.
I shook my head disapprovingly again.
“She always manages to lose some article of clothing when she’s drunk.”
“What did you do last night at the party, by the way,” Carmen lowered her voice and leaned in.
“You and Carter disappeared for quite some time. Actually, come to think of it, I only saw both of you at the beginning of the night.”
“Oh. Well, for one. Kevin Zimmerman has Looney Toon sheets. Don’t tell anyone.”
Carmen bursted out laughing, and gasped out, “HE DOES? That’s hilarious!”
“And Two.”
Carmen leaned in even closer.
“Carter is terrible at taking off bras.”
Carmen squealed, giggled, and clapped.
“OH. MY. GOD. You let him get to second!”
“Oh course! Boob gropeage is awesome!”
“So did it just take him forever to take off your bra? Estimated minutes?”
“Well, he more broke it!”
“AH!” Carmen giggled again.
“Yeah!” I scowled and cross my arms over my chest. “It was my favorite bright green bra too!”
“He must’ve been so happy! He’s wanted to touch you for so long.”
“Yes, let’s make my relationship seem creepy.”
“So you guys just got to second?”
“Well, Kevin Zimmerman busted in on us during the act.”
“That sucks!” she exclaimed before turning to interact with the cashier. “So would you have gone further with him?” she probed, once we were out of line.
“I wanted to, but I wouldn’t have.”
“Well, why not?”
“Doing so would give Carter the upper hand, and if he is to be my man slave I can’t have that.”
“Man slave?” Carmen cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah. Basically, he pleases me sexually and nourishes me with paying for dinners. I call him around when I need him, and he adores me all the time. It’s a perfect situation.”
“I like the way you think! Well, are you and the slave doing anything tonight?”
“I dunno. He hasn’t called me yet.”
“Well, would you be interested in going on a double date with me and Brian?”
“Sounds like a plan! Can we see something girly that will make them squirm?”
“Yeah, but shouldn’t you ask if Carter if he’s game?”
“He’s a man slave. He has no say in the matter.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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