It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

“With Caroline Henderson?” Carmen’s eyes shot open with shock. I had just finished recounting my walking in on Carter.

“Yeah. He always had a thing for her I guess.”

“Really? I never thought she was his type.”

“Apparently she is.”

“I’m really sorry, El!” Carmen reached across the table and laid her hand on top of mine.

“It’s fine. Really. We’d only been going out for three weeks, well I guess a month, but we were pretending for the first few...I just feel really stupid. It’s kind of like when someone hits you in the head with a ball. You feel totally stupid even though the only thing you did was become a victim of someone’s bad aim.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“You mean since last night?”

“Yeah,” Carmen went back to casually eating her sandwich. We were having lunch at Applebee’s so I could share the news.

“No. I believe the last words I said to him had to do with cutting his balls off.”

Carmen howled with laughter in reply, saying in between fits of laughter.

“I’m sorry. The situation is not funny, but you would say something like that to whoever cheated on you! But seriously,” Carmen had once again become serious, “You should really talk to him.”

“Why? What is there to say? I saw him with a shirtless Caroline Henderson on top of him.
There’s really no secret meaning to interpret.”

“I’m just saying,” Carmen threw her hands up in surrender. “That maybe you would like to know how it happened...for some closure.”

***

“Ellis!” My mom greeted me with an unhappy tone. “Of all the days to forget your cell phone, WHICH you should always have on you! Someone has been calling you all morning! I hope it’s not an emergency!”

“Trust me mom, it’s not. And, I didn’t need my cell phone! Carmen always has hers!”

“It’s a bad habit to get into!” she called after me, as I bounded up the stairs.

36 Missed Calls, my phone shouted at me after flipping open the top. All of them from Carter.

“The boy has ambition,” I chuckled to myself as I hit the redial button.

“Hello?” Carter answered the phone as if death himself was on the other line.

“Rough night?” I replied instead of the more common and polite “hello.’

“ELLIS!” his voice was a combination of anger, hurt, remorse, and relief.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been calling you all morning!”

“Sorry,” I apologized with a mischievous grin on my face. Truth be told, I forgot my phone on purpose. I knew he would be calling and it was his turn to suffer. “I went out to lunch and forgot my phone.”

“Well, I think we should talk.”

“So talk.”

“Can I come over?”

“If you want.”

“Fine, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

And there I was, confronting the demon I would rather forget.

***

“Ellis!” my mom called from downstairs. “Carter is here!”

“You can just send him up to my room!”

“No Funny business!”

“Thanks mom! I’ll keep that in mind when Carter tries to get me to talk about airline food!”

“You know what I mean!” my mother’s voice quickly changed from threatening and motherly to charming and 50’s house wife. “Hi Carter! How are you?”

“Fine and you Mrs. Davis?” Carter also played the part of charming.

“Great, thanks! Ellis is in her room. Upstairs and on the right.”

“Thanks.”

A soft knock came at my door.

“Come in,” I called in as monotone a voice I could muster.

Carter stuck his head in, looking like a puppy who had pooped in every room of the house, and got caught.

“Hey,” he said almost as softly as he knocked on the door.

“Hey,” I replied as monotonously as I said ‘come in.’

“How’s it going?” Carter took a seat on the bed beside me, both of us very interested in the opposite wall.

“Not bad. You?”

“I’ve been better.”

“Drink too much last night?” I pretended like wasn’t aware of why he was truly down.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Then you should be great!” I felt the anger rising inside me again. “I mean,” I managed to calm myself before continuing. “You hooked up with Caroline Henderson last night. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

“NO!” Carter replied defensively. “It wasn’t like that at all! We were drunk, and things got... carried away.”

“THAT’S YOUR EXPLANATION?” I exploded jumping of the bed in a rage, facing him for the first time.

Carter cocked an eyebrow at my fervent response before answering, “Yes...”

“You might as well have said that you were lying on the bed trying to take a nap when a shirtless Caroline barged in and tripped onto you!”

“...I’m lost.”

“THAT WAS THE DUMBEST EXCUSE EVER!” I screamed.

“Whoa! WHOA!” Carter now jumped of the bed. Now we stood face to face. “I was just trying to tell the truth.”

“Well...WELL! I’M LEAVING!” I grabbed my cell phone and my purse up off the floor.

“You can’t storm out of your own room!”

“WATCH ME!” I screamed before slamming the door behind me.

I smacked myself in the head before storming down the stairs. I had just stormed out of my own room, leaving Carter inside. Now I was outside my room, but I couldn’t go back in. It would’ve totally undermined the whole storm out if I went back in.

“Ellis!” Carter was in hot pursuit behind me. “Where are you going?”

“For a ride!” I called back, slamming the front door in his face.

“Ellis! It’s not good to drive angry. It leads to road rage! Remember the video we watched about the minister in Driver’s Ed? He went to jail!”

“Good thing I’m not a minister then!”

“You’re being rid-” was all I heard before slamming my car door.

“You’re being ridiculous!” Carter exclaimed again this time climbing into the passenger seat of my hunk of metal.

“Remember what I said about your balls last night? It holds true today!” I smiled kindly, hoping that the hint would work again for me tonight.

“Fine! FINE!” Carter reopened the passenger seat door. “But!” he pointed a threatening finger in my direction. “I’ll be waiting for you! You just wait and see! I’LL SHOW YOU!”

“Okay, whatever.” I scoffed, backing out the second he slammed the door shut.