It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

We sat outside my house on the grass patch of front lawn that sat next to the driveway. I stared up at the sky, staring at the stars dotted across the great blue expanse of sky.

“I like stars!” I exclaimed suddenly surprising myself even.

“Good to know,” Carter replied, slipping his hand into mine. We laid side by side attached by our hands, “Why?”

I shrugged, or as best I could shrug considering my shoulders were pressed against the cold October ground.

“I dunno. They’re mystical in a sense I suppose. They always make me think of the endless possibilities, and how much I long to learn everything there is to know about the world.”

“Hmm that’s pretty deep.”

“I guess... HEY!” I sprang up and invaded Carter’s field of vision.

“Oh! I like that star!” he tweaked me lightly on the nose.

I crinkled my nose before continuing, “I just realized that I have no idea what you want to go to school for! Weird huh? Shouldn’t that be something I know?”

Carter shrugged after sitting up, “Come to think of it, I don’t think I know what you want to go to college for either. You first!”

“Finnnee,” I rolled my eyes with a playful smile. “I want to be a chef.”

“I can see that,” Carter stroked his chin with an approving nod. “You do really love food! Will you cook for me?”

“If you pay to eat in my restaurant.”

Carter whined like a puppy, his bottom lips jutting out in a pout.

“Not even on my birthday?”

“You have birthdays? I thought you were some kind of hideous alien creature that didn’t age...at least not in the human sense of the word.”

“Well if you mean I’m like those ridiculously good looking Vampire creatures all those pre-teens are going ga ga over than yes. Except I don’t sparkle. That’s... odd, and not very ferocious considering the circumstances.”

“AWWW!” I clutched my hands together placing them dreamily on my cheek. “I wish I had sparkle skin! I love sparkles!”

Carter chuckled as he leaned in to lightly graze my lips. He broke away, but kept his face centimeters from my face, a satisfied smile on his lips.

“You’re cute,” he murmured leaning in for another soft kiss.

“Well, you know.” I shrugged. “I try.”

Carter let out another husky chuckle.

“You succeed.”

“So,” I decided to steer the conversation back to it’s original purpose. “What do you want to study?”

“Medicine. I want to be a Neuro Surgeon.”

“Hmm,” I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. “I don’t know if I’d trust you with my brain.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he huffed throwing his hands on his hips, while I shrugged nonchalantly.

“HEY!” Carter twisted his face into a two-year-oldesque pout. “I’m a straight A student! And I’m in five!” he held up a spread open palm for emphasis. “FIVE AP classes!”

“Yeah well I’m not totally convinced you haven’t cheated your way through those classes.”

“ I. Am. Offended.” he crossed his arms over his chest before slamming his body back on the grass.

I slumped my body in exasperation coupled with an eye roll, “I was only joking, although,” I stroked my chin pondering towards the heavens. “Weren’t you the one in eighth grade that forced us to evacuate the science room?”

“The one time I didn’t pay attention in class!” Carter threw his hands up in defeat.

“It’s all coming back to me now! You’re the doofus who mixed Ammonia and Bleach in the sink. Hmmm that really does explain a lot though.”

“That was one time! I was a ball buster back then!”

“Back then?”

“Okay fine. I still am one, but I’m a smarter one.” he paused for a beat before asking, “Explains what?”

“Why you’re the way you are now. You must’ve inhaled some serious chemicals that day. It all makes sense now. You’ve suffered immense brain damage!”

“You know!” he furrowed his brows in anger while pointing a forewarning finger in my direction. “One day when you’re more haggard and wrinkly than you already are, you’re gonna need brain surgery. And me, staying as virile and young as I am now, will refuse to do it and laugh as you’re brain turns to mush.”

“Couldn’t I just go to another surgeon? Or are you planning to murder all your opposition?”

“No. Murder is bad,” he shot me a reprimanding look for thinking he would resort to such things. “But clearly, I would be the best surgeon. Everyone would want to come to me.”

“But there would still be other surgeons?”

“Yeah.”

“So I could just prevent my brain from turning to mush by going to one of them.”

“They wouldn’t operate on you!” Carter huffed, his hands tightly crossed over his chest, turning his face away from me.

“Well, why not?”

“Because they’d take one look at you and know that society would be better off without you.”

“Ouch,” I let out a huge yawn, sinking back onto the lawn before saying, “And aren’t you almost a year older than me?” I closed my eyes, letting sleep begin to take over my body.

“I think maybe you should get to bed,” he replied, ignoring my truthful question considering he was ten months my senior.

I murmured an incoherent sentence as I wrapped my arms around Carter’s waist.

“I don’t want to,” I spoke the muffled words into Carter’s side.

“Come on now,” He lightly removed my arms from his waist so he could stand up and help me to my feet. “You need your beauty sleep. Believe me.”

“Hey,” I muttered with a half convincing pout. “You’re a poop head.”

“Ah,” he laughed. “I see your insults get wittier as the night goes on.”

By now we had reached my porch, where Carter enveloped me in a large hug, the warmth of his body expelling all the coldness of the October air. I buried my head into Carter’s chest, snuggling closer up against him for added warmth.

“Stay with me tonight,” I uttered, not even fully aware of what I was saying.

“Ellis,” Carter breathed pulling us apart so he could look me in the eye.

“Please?” I put on the most convincing puppy dog eyes my heavy eye lids would allow.

Carter let a moan that conveyed desire and disappointment in the same sound.

“You know I would in a heart beat, but I think my mom would castrate me if I stayed over and that would be horrible for everyone involved.”

“Please?” I reburied my head into Carter’s chest.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he chuckled before planting a kiss on my head. “We can’t. Maybe some other time when our parents aren’t so available to ground us for it.” He pushed us apart again, this time so he could give me a soft kiss on the lips. “Call me the minute you wake up tomorrow, and I’ll come right over.”

I nodded, knowing that there was no way he’d be able to stay over. My mom would probably castrate him twice if she found him in the morning. I didn’t even want to think what would happen to me being the instigator of the whole situation.

“Goodnight,” I murmured after giving Carter one last hug and kiss before entering my house.

***
“Hello?” Carter’s groggy voice sounded over the receiver.

“I’m up.”

“That’s great,” a click followed signifying that Carter had hung up his phone.

“Hello?” I received the same response as I had now called him twice.

“I’m up. You told me to call you when I got up.”

“Hmmm,” Carter groaned, clearly stretching as he began to regain consciousness, “That doesn’t sound like something I would say.”

“I know! I thought it was odd too. Usually you’re not so giving.”

“You must’ve drugged me an-HEY! I’m very giving! Two weeks ago I spent almost a whole pay check on buying stupid flowers for your locker. Do you know how much a whole pay check is?”

“I didn’t even know you had a job...do you have a job?”

“Yeah! I babysit my brother everyday after school.”

“Wait.” I held up hands for emphasis even though he couldn’t see me. “You get payed to do something you’d have to do anyway?”

“I don’t have to do it.”

“What you’d just let your brother fester in his own poop if your parents didn’t pay you?”

“Did you call me at nine on a Saturday morning just to insult me?”

“I thought we went over this?” I huffed an exasperated sigh. “You told me to call you when I woke up, and then you would come right over.”

“Now I know you drugged me. I would never opt to wake up earlier, even if it did mean getting to see you.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “What are we doing today?”

“Why is it always my decision?”

I let out a half groan half frustrated scream.

“Call me back when you want to be a real person,” with that, I hung up on Carter, cursing him while I did it as I swore I heard his laughter on the line.

Two minutes later, my phone buzzed on my nightstand signifying an incoming call.

“Hi! This is a real person!” Carter greeted me jovially.

“I hate you.”

“Oh yeah! So that’s why you were begging me to stay with you last night.”

“You know what they say, keep your friends close your enemies closer.”

“Sure. Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“What are we doing today?” I decided to get our phone conversation to the point. I didn’t have endless phone minutes to spend insulting Carter. We could spend eternity on the phone insulting each other.

“I!” I could imagine him punching the air with enthusiasm as he shouted this. “Have decided that we’re going to go a-boatin’!”

“A-boatin’? Do you own a boat?”

“No, but the boat house at Governor Lindsay’s park does. I figured we could paddle boat to that little island in the middle of the lake and have lunch.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll make lunch!”

“PERFECT!” I had to bring the phone about a foot away from my ear as he screamed this. “Because I didn’t want to make lunch. I’ll pick you up in a half hour?”

“Sure.”

“See you then!” Carter hung up the phone before I could say good bye, and I headed downstairs to make us Sandwiches.