It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

“WHOA!” Carmen eyed me up and down with shock, wonderment, and a tad of jealousy. “That is one sexy costume! I like it! No one will have one like it!”

“I hope not I made it myself.”

“Who are you trying to impress?” she cocked an eyebrow catching my gaze in the reflection of my mirror.

“No one. Isn’t this what we’re supposed to do?”

“Yeah, but you look HOT! I might even push it up to sexy! It would make sense if you wanted to make your boyfriend in dire need of a cold shower all night, but he won’t even be there.”

I shrugged, “Whatever. He knows I’m wearing this. Not that it would’ve mattered. I probably wouldn’t even gone through with it except for the fact that Carter freaked out a little when I told him.”

“I can see why,” she gave me one more up and down before going to apply make-up. Carmen was dressed as Jessica Rabbit. A much sexier Jessica Rabbit if that was at all possible.

“He outright forbade me from wearing this!”

“HE WHAT?” Carmen burst out into laughter. “Oh man! I love it when guys let their testosterone get the better of them.”

“I do have to admit, it was pretty funny,” I glanced at my clock, which read 9:08 PM. “I think we should probably get going. We definitely want to make sure there’s enough alcohol left for us.”

“Easy for you to say,” Carmen scoffed. It was her night to be the designated driver.

***

“Ellis!” Mac breathed, before wrapping me into a hug. “You look...amazing!”

“Thanks,” I blushed slightly. It was no lie that Mac was ridiculously good looking, and it was always a moral booster to be complimented by a hot guy.

“I bet Carter’s pretty thrilled. Speaking of which, where is the old man?”

“Not here. He’s at a family function so his thrill level is most likely not very high.”

“Whatever,” Mac shrugged before handing me a beer. “Cheers?” he held up the bottle he grabbed for himself, signifying for me to clink it.

“So what are you?” I raised my voice to the level of a scream as we exited the kitchen and into the hallway filled with people and loud music. I felt many male eyes turned with piqued interest as Mac and I pushed passed.

“I’m an Abercrombie & Fitch model! Just wait until I’ve had a few drinks!”

“Funny!”

Our conversation was broken apart by some angry yelling. I thought it was a little early in the night for a drunken fight, but who was I to judge? The yelling got louder as the mass of people in the hall way cleared for two guys punching each other’s brains out in motion. They moved closer to me, but before I had to worry about dodging burly men and their punches, I was pulled into a vacant bedroom. Thank God for one story houses.

“Whew!” I wiped my forehead of its non existent sweat. “That was a close one.”

“Tell me about it!” the voice that replied was not Mac’s, causing me to snap my head in the direction of the voice only to find myself staring at Matthew Perkins.

“UGH! I’m getting out of here!” I yelled, turning towards the door.

“Hey! Hey! Hey now!” before I could even take one step, Matthew had moved in front of the door blocking my exit.

“Don’t think I won’t go through that window,” I threatened. “It’s one story, and I have to say, I’m quite versed in the tuck and roll.”

“Why are you always so quick to leave?” he took a menacing step, more like sway, towards me. His speech slurred. He was what the professionals like to call completely wasted.

“I’m not, but oh Shit! I think that’s...MELISSA...calling me! She must need...MY HELP! You know how she gets at parties.”

“Mmmm,” Matthew wrapped an arm around my waist roughly pulling me towards him. “You look so hot,” he murmured between showering my neck with kisses.

“You really need to stop! I don’t mean in the way that really means go. I mean STOP!” I shoved Matthew back, causing him to wobble backwards a bit.

“Come on now,” he pushed me down on to the bed. “Stop trying to deny that you want me.”

“I think the only one in denial here is yourself! I have a boyfriend!” my voice cracked a bit. Here I was about to be... I didn’t even want to think about what was about to happen, and Carter was miles away. Furthermore, no one knew I was in here and who was going to look? People always got separated at parties. I was just lucky my mom forced me to start taking birth control once she saw that Carter and I were pretty serious.

“He won’t mind,” Matthew once again began to shower my neck with kisses once again.

“You really don’t want to do this,” I pleaded more than stated, but at that point I noticed that the kissing had stopped. Confused, I turned my head as best as possible to see Matthew’s face. He was nestled into my neck, passed out. I laughed out loud, more for relief than the sheer hilarity of the situation. However, I was posed with another problem when I tried to push the snoring Matthew Perkins off my body. He wouldn’t budge. I was trapped under a passed out drunk guy. It was only a matter of minutes until he would start drooling. Now I had wished I took that strength training seriously.

I rifled around in Matthew’s pockets, praying to whatever higher being was out there in the ultimate universe that this wouldn’t jostle the old boy awake. I managed to dodge his advances once, thanks to him, I didn’t think I could get so lucky twice. Fortunately for me, I found his cell phone with little effort, and without waking the sleeping baboon on top of me. One had to wonder how much he had drank considering the party started at nine and it was only nine forty-five according to digital numbers lit on his cell phone.

I quickly dialed Mac’s number, or what I hoped to be Mac’s number.

“Please pick up. Please pick up!” I chanted with every ring.

Finally the click of someone answering a cell phone and the loud music in the background assured me that I had reached Mac.

“Hello?” he yelled into the receiver.

“Hey. It’s Ellis.”

“Where are you calling from?”

“Funny story, from under Matthew Perkins. We’re in a bedroom. Can you come get him off me? The loser passed out cold on me.”

“Are you sure he’s not dead?”

“Can dead people snore?”

“Touche. I’ll be there in a moment,” with that Mac hung up, leaving me to play the waiting game.

The door creaked open moments later to Mac entering the room with a look between confusion and pure amusement on his face.

“Do I really even want to know what happened?”

“Drunk people do stupid things. Can you get him off me?”

Mac rolled Matthew off me with ease. Matthew snorted a few times, and then lulled back into a peaceful sleep. One really had to wonder what he drank.

“You couldn’t get him off you?”

“No.”

“How have you survived all these years?” Mac took a seat next to me on the bed.

“Hmmm. That’s the second time I’ve heard that in the past week.”

“Obviously it means something then. So,” Mac gestured towards the heap that was Matthew Perkins. “What just happened here?”

“Well in laymen terms, Matthew had a little too much to drink and that made him a tiny bit more aggressive than usual.”

“Oh. I can’t blame him,” Mac’s eyes, quickly realizing what he had just said, grew wide. “I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!” he practically screamed. “What I meant was that I could see why he would want to be all over you.”

“Yeah?” I knew where this was going, but I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to stop it.

“Yeah. I mean,” he gestured to my whole body in one movement. “Look at you! You’re...sexy!” Mac cast his eyes downward at this last statement, his cheeks burning bright red.

“Thanks,” I muttered, butterflies forming in my stomach. Mac was so good it was almost irritable.

“Well!” Mac broke the awkward silence that fell between us as he stood up. “We better get back to party. Let Perkins get his shut eye.”


“Yeah,” I followed after Mac not being sure what I was feeling. It was a combination of happiness, sadness, and horrible gnawing guilt.