It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

My cellphone sprang to life with the indication of an incoming call. I smirked at it. This was one Saturday it wasn’t going to pull me from my slumber. I chuckled at the thought because the only reason I was up before noon was because my impending conversation with Carter had prevented me from sleeping past eight.

My heart jumped with one glance at the incoming call. Carter’s name lit up on the screen. From the day of his fateful fight with Matthew Perkins, every call I received I had hoped to be from him, but now that it was him I was filled with dread. I knew what was coming, and I would rather suffer from five concussions and a coma than deal with it.

“Hello?” I tried to hide the nervous tone in my voice.

“I’m out of the hospital.”

“Hurray!” I cheered half heartedly, hoping that was the only reason for the call.

“You know why I’m calling Ellis.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. There was no way of joking my way out it. Business Carter was relentless.

“I’ll pick you up? We can go to lunch.”

“You can’t drive! You just suffered a concussion! I doubt your mother’s even letting you out of your bed.”


“I’ll leave before she gets back.”

“Stop being crazy. I’ll come to you,” I sighed, hanging up the phone. I was entering the belly of the beast willingly.

***

My finger hovered centimeters above the doorbell. I still had time to turn back. I fought my instincts to leave, and pressed my finger down on the button. The door swung open instantly as if Carter had been standing there awaiting my arrival.

“Hey,” he greeted me.

“Hey,” I returned, refusing the meet his eyes. “You should be lying down,” I added as he beckoned me into his house.

“I’m fine.”

“Why are all the curtains closed?” I noticed, my eyes adjusting to the dimly lit house.

“The sun was hurting my head.”

He led me to his sun porch, practically dark as night with all the shades drawn. I clutched my stomach, fighting back the urge to throw up. This was the first place we had been intimate. I wondered if Carter had chosen this place on purpose. I debated whether he was that clever. Sure, he was basically a genius, but it was a fact of life that boys rarely pick up on the subtle details of a relationship.

“So?” Carter began once I had taken the seat next to him. “Let’s talk.”
 “Um. Okay. It’s pretty nice out today. You should defin-”

“Ellis!” his tone of voice let me know that this was not the time to be joking.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” I stared at my hands lying in my lap.

“Don’t you still have feelings for me?”

I bit my tongue to keep the tears from spilling out.

“It’s not that simple,” I managed to say without my voice wavering.

“What’s that supposed to mean? If we like each other we should be together! Forget all the shit that’s happened! It’s not worth it.”

“I’m kind of seeing Mac!” I shocked myself with the spontaneous blurting of the fact. I had hoped to deliver the news more eloquently, but there was no taking it back as Carter’s eyes went dead cold.

“Oh,” he replied curtly.

“I really like him.”

“More than me?” his eyes softened as he said this.

“I don’t think you want to know the answer to that.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, focusing his eyes on the tiled floor.

“I’m sorry,” I watched Carter intently as he stared down at the floor, eyes unblinking. I began to think the shock overloaded his already stressed brain, and he slipped into a coma. However, I made no moves to break him from his trance because I was slightly afraid of what his real reaction would be. I was also slightly angry. Why should I be apologizing for seeing someone else when we weren’t together, and he refused to talk to me.

“You shouldn’t be,” Carter finally spoke, turning towards me. His green eyes were pools of sadness. “You have no reason to be sorry for seeing someone else. We’re not together anymore. I guess I’m just shocked because it’s so soon after, you know?” he gestured to the space in between us.

“Maybe I should go,” I started to stand only to be pulled back down by Carter.

“Are you happy?” his eyes pierced through my mine as if they were trying to find the truly honest answer in my soul.

“I…” I hesitated for a beat before continuing. “I am,” I smiled certainly. Mac really did make me happy.

“Well, then, I’m happy,” Carter’s brow was furrowed as if he wasn’t quite sure of the statement he had just made.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” he replied with more certainty this time around.

“Thanks,” I smiled slightly, thankful for no major explosions, and began to stand up to leave.

“Can we still be friends?” he questioned, his eyes sparkling with hope.

“Carter, I’ve always wanted to be friends.”

“Is that a yes?”

I threw my arms around him in a big bear hug for a reply, tears sliding down my face.

“Are you crying?” he cocked an eyebrow as I wiped the few rouge tears that had escaped.

“I’m happy okay?” I shot him a dirty expression. “I’ve missed having you around.”

“Wow!” he pinched one of my cheeks much like a grandma would. “You’ve become such a girl since we’ve not been talking.”

I slapped his hand away defiantly.

“You’re not winning brownie points here.”

“Sorry, but you’ve gone soft!”

“Shut up!” I punched him lightly in the shoulder. “It’s been an emotional month!”

Carter rolled his eyes with a bright smile before getting serious again.

“I meant it when I said I missed you.”

“I’m glad,” I wrapped him in a friendly hug once more.

“Plus, I missed having someone to insult. All my good insults were going to waste.”

I laughed heartily, resting my head on his shoulder.

“None of your insults are good.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

“Whatever,” I brushed him off with a wrist flip before standing up. “I should go. You need to rest.”

“Sure. Sure,” Carter stood up as well and led me to the front door.

“Oh,” I turned around to face Carter once at the door. “Could you not tell anyone about Mac and me. We’re not going public just yet.”

“I try to avoid Melissa,” he rumpled my hair affectionately.

“Thanks!” I hugged him tightly before leaving. “I’m glad we can be friends again.”

“Me too,” he smiled a sad smile, forcing me to force back to urge to cry.

I got into my car with an odd sensation of emotion. I felt like I had just won the lottery. I got my best friend back. I felt like I had just won the lottery, but only got half my winnings due to taxes. I was happy with Mac. Really happy. He was great, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be just friends with Carter.