Status: Active...maybe...kinda...sorta
It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!
And is there really a better reason than that?
“MY LIFE IS OVER!” Melissa moaned as she stomped into history.
“And so is the life of my left ear drum,” I added, poking a finger into my ear, hoping that would stop the slight ringing Melissa had caused.
“CARTER ASKED CAROLINE TO THE WINTER BALL!” she screeched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
“Oh, uh, that sucks,” I shrugged, not being able to thing of something more comforting to say.
“What does she have that I don’t?” she laid her head on the desk.
“Boobs?” I shrugged, but more for the fact that it always seemed to come back to her boobs with me. I made a mental note to look into that. It couldn’t be normal.
“I HAVE BOOBS!” Melissa snapped up and gestured to her fairly hefty bust.
“He-” Mac began to greet us, but soon stopped once he noticed Melissa’s demeanor.
“MEN!” she huffed eying him murderously.
“I’m not a man!” he held up his hands in surrender as he eased his way over to his seat. “I’m still not eighteen, so I’m technically still a boy!” he squeaked. “OH LOOK!” he pointed towards the door in which Matthew Perkins had just walked in, looking just as miserable as Melissa. “I think Matthew wants to sit here today!” with that, Mac headed off to take a seat in the front of the class room.
I shot him daggers as Melissa’s male counterpart took Mac’s seat.
“MEN!” Melissa shot at him, snapping her head away from him.
“WOMEN!” Matthew huffed, giving Melissa the stink eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?” I questioned, giving him a once over. My curiosity got the better of me.
“Caroline has a date to the Winter Ball, and get this?” he held up his hand to create suspense. I slammed my head to my desk, hoping the blow would make me forget everything that happened this year. “Carter is taking her!”
“TELL ME ABOUT IT!” Melissa huffed, rejoining the conversation.
“What does he have that I don’t?” Matthew cradled his head in his hands sadly.
“Glasses?” I shrugged. Maybe Carter had that sexy librarian thing going for him.
“Well, what about when he’s not wearing them?” he shot back, clearly taking my suggestion seriously.
“Uh black pants?” I shrugged once again, remembering that Carter was one of the few boys who chose to wear the black uniform pants over the khaki ones.
“Who are you taking?” Matthew eyed me up and down.
“Mac,” I rolled my eyes.
“All the good girls are taken!” he pouted.
“BUT NOT THIS ONE!” I gestured towards Melissa in a Vanna White fashion, the idea was so brilliant I deserved a Noble Peace Prize.
“I’m not going!” Melissa crossed her arms over her chest.
“Even if you could go with THIS GUY?” I turned my gesture towards Matthew, a cheesy grin plastered upon my face.
Melissa’s face softened as she stared upon the hunk of man meat that was Matthew.
“It could make Carter jealous,” she stroked her chin in thought.
“It could make Caroline jealous,” Matthew did the same.
“And is there really a better reason than that?” I nodded persuasively.
“Let’s do it!” Matthew punched the air with enthusiasm
“Only if you buy me some flowers.”
“Fine, but you have to pay for your own ticket.”
“Throw in allowing me to pick out your shirt and tie and you have yourself a deal.”
Matthew weighed his options for a few minutes, both Melissa and I looking on expectantly.
“Deal!” he finally stated, holding out a hand for Melissa to shake.
I was a Goddess.
***
“Hey,” I took a seat across from Carter.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Oh you know, just cleaning up your messes, which I seem to be doing all the time lately!” I huffed, throwing up my hands in exasperation.
“Fake boyfriend,” he dead panned.
“Whatever. So,” I smirked. “Word on the Melissa is that you asked Caroline to Winter Ball.”
“Yeah,” Carter sighed happily, his shoulder slumping and a goofy smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes, “Details!”
“Well,” Carter leaned in closer, his excitement brimming over. “I was totally suave about it! I got Zimmerman to deliver flowers to her, they’re in the same homeroom, and I asked her on the card!”
“You do realize this is just one formal dance?”
“You do realize I want to get laid?”
“Touche. Touche,” I fought the overwhelming urge to barf.
“Did Melissa take it badly?” his eyes softened, sadness creeping into his elated expression.
“She did, but don’t worry, she’s going with Matthew Perkins now.”
“WHAT?” Carter laughed loudly. “Good joke.”
“Seriously,” I brushed my shoulder off. “All me.”
“What?”
“Matthew was sad that you got to Caroline before he did, and it just seemed right,” I decided to leave out their plot to make Caroline and Carter jealous.
“Oh,” he took in the information for a second. “Well, now everyone is happy.”
“Seems that way.”
“And so is the life of my left ear drum,” I added, poking a finger into my ear, hoping that would stop the slight ringing Melissa had caused.
“CARTER ASKED CAROLINE TO THE WINTER BALL!” she screeched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
“Oh, uh, that sucks,” I shrugged, not being able to thing of something more comforting to say.
“What does she have that I don’t?” she laid her head on the desk.
“Boobs?” I shrugged, but more for the fact that it always seemed to come back to her boobs with me. I made a mental note to look into that. It couldn’t be normal.
“I HAVE BOOBS!” Melissa snapped up and gestured to her fairly hefty bust.
“He-” Mac began to greet us, but soon stopped once he noticed Melissa’s demeanor.
“MEN!” she huffed eying him murderously.
“I’m not a man!” he held up his hands in surrender as he eased his way over to his seat. “I’m still not eighteen, so I’m technically still a boy!” he squeaked. “OH LOOK!” he pointed towards the door in which Matthew Perkins had just walked in, looking just as miserable as Melissa. “I think Matthew wants to sit here today!” with that, Mac headed off to take a seat in the front of the class room.
I shot him daggers as Melissa’s male counterpart took Mac’s seat.
“MEN!” Melissa shot at him, snapping her head away from him.
“WOMEN!” Matthew huffed, giving Melissa the stink eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?” I questioned, giving him a once over. My curiosity got the better of me.
“Caroline has a date to the Winter Ball, and get this?” he held up his hand to create suspense. I slammed my head to my desk, hoping the blow would make me forget everything that happened this year. “Carter is taking her!”
“TELL ME ABOUT IT!” Melissa huffed, rejoining the conversation.
“What does he have that I don’t?” Matthew cradled his head in his hands sadly.
“Glasses?” I shrugged. Maybe Carter had that sexy librarian thing going for him.
“Well, what about when he’s not wearing them?” he shot back, clearly taking my suggestion seriously.
“Uh black pants?” I shrugged once again, remembering that Carter was one of the few boys who chose to wear the black uniform pants over the khaki ones.
“Who are you taking?” Matthew eyed me up and down.
“Mac,” I rolled my eyes.
“All the good girls are taken!” he pouted.
“BUT NOT THIS ONE!” I gestured towards Melissa in a Vanna White fashion, the idea was so brilliant I deserved a Noble Peace Prize.
“I’m not going!” Melissa crossed her arms over her chest.
“Even if you could go with THIS GUY?” I turned my gesture towards Matthew, a cheesy grin plastered upon my face.
Melissa’s face softened as she stared upon the hunk of man meat that was Matthew.
“It could make Carter jealous,” she stroked her chin in thought.
“It could make Caroline jealous,” Matthew did the same.
“And is there really a better reason than that?” I nodded persuasively.
“Let’s do it!” Matthew punched the air with enthusiasm
“Only if you buy me some flowers.”
“Fine, but you have to pay for your own ticket.”
“Throw in allowing me to pick out your shirt and tie and you have yourself a deal.”
Matthew weighed his options for a few minutes, both Melissa and I looking on expectantly.
“Deal!” he finally stated, holding out a hand for Melissa to shake.
I was a Goddess.
***
“Hey,” I took a seat across from Carter.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Oh you know, just cleaning up your messes, which I seem to be doing all the time lately!” I huffed, throwing up my hands in exasperation.
“Fake boyfriend,” he dead panned.
“Whatever. So,” I smirked. “Word on the Melissa is that you asked Caroline to Winter Ball.”
“Yeah,” Carter sighed happily, his shoulder slumping and a goofy smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes, “Details!”
“Well,” Carter leaned in closer, his excitement brimming over. “I was totally suave about it! I got Zimmerman to deliver flowers to her, they’re in the same homeroom, and I asked her on the card!”
“You do realize this is just one formal dance?”
“You do realize I want to get laid?”
“Touche. Touche,” I fought the overwhelming urge to barf.
“Did Melissa take it badly?” his eyes softened, sadness creeping into his elated expression.
“She did, but don’t worry, she’s going with Matthew Perkins now.”
“WHAT?” Carter laughed loudly. “Good joke.”
“Seriously,” I brushed my shoulder off. “All me.”
“What?”
“Matthew was sad that you got to Caroline before he did, and it just seemed right,” I decided to leave out their plot to make Caroline and Carter jealous.
“Oh,” he took in the information for a second. “Well, now everyone is happy.”
“Seems that way.”