It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

“We’ll meet you guys there?” Carmen stared expectantly at our dates, us standing on her door step, while they stood on the lawn below. One perk to being a male was they didn’t need to change from their formal attire before attending the after party.

“Sure thing!” Brian stood on the bottom step to give Carmen a quick peck on the lips.

“I’m not going,” Mac gave a sad half smile.

“WHAT?” Carmen stared on, her mouth hung in disbelief. “Don’t you know the best part about these dances are the after parties?”

“I know, I know, but we’re heading to my family’s house tomorrow for the holidays. My mom doesn’t want me to make them late. I’ll talk to you tomorrow Ellis?” he stepped up to wrap me in a tight hug. This was the last time we would see each other until the next Monday: eons in teenage time.

“Yeah, of course!” I tightened my grip around him. I wished more than anything that he was coming with us. What fun was getting super drunk after a formal dance, if you couldn’t hook up with anyone? Wasn’t that the whole point of these things? Past the whole buying a pretty dress thing.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispered before kissing me roughly.

I laughed to myself as we kissed, because we must’ve looked like Mac was leaving for war, not just for vacation for one measly weekend.

“Alright you two love birds!” Carmen hit Mac on the back. “We’ve got some partying to do!”

“Fine,” Mac rolled his eyes, giving me one more deep kiss. “Have fun,” him and Brian gave us half waves as they turned to go their respective ways, while Carmen and I went into her house to change.

“How has you night been so far?” Carmen asked once the door were close.

“Fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she pointed a warning finger in her direction as we headed up the stairs to her room.

“I saw Caroline and Carter kissing,” I stared at the floor, willing myself to resist the urge to cry.

Carmen’s arms quickly snaked around me, pausing our movement in her door frame.

“Ellis!” she cooed, rocking me back and forth. “Don’t let that get you down!”

“I know,” I broke away, stepping further into her room. “I’m trying to not let it get to me, but it’s hard. It’s just...it didn’t seem real until that moment.”

“Well,” Carmen exclaimed from her closet, “We’re going to get wasted and have a blast! You’ll forget all about Carter.”

“That depends on how wasted I get.”

Carmen poked out of her closet to give me a dirty look.

“That’s not what I meant!”

I brushed off her comment with a smirk, and began to change. Changing for the after-formal-dance-party was really just changing into something slinky. I decided upon a pair of black high waisted shorts with a lacy purple tank top. I didn’t want to go for slutty, but I also didn’t want to look like a school marm in comparison to all the other scantily clad girls.

“OhhOh!” Carmen smiled deviously, “You look cute! Love those shorts!”

“Thanks,” I sized myself up in her full-length mirror, giving myself an approving nod. “You look good too,” I gestured towards Carmen who was dressed in a green pencil skirt and black v-neck.

“Gracis, senorita,” she giggled. “Let’s go!”

We quickly suited up for the cold, and quietly left Carmen’s house, hoping to not wake anyone up. The cold stung my legs, and I picked up the pace trying to spend as little time in the cold as possible. Carmen, I’m sure feeling the same way, matched my pace. We rounded the corner of her street in record time, and from there we could see Zimmerman’s house, brightly lit in the dead of night. Kids arrived in troves, heading excitedly to his front door.

“Apparently he’s the only one throwing the after party,” I mused as we made out way up his walk way.

“When you offer free alcohol everyone will choose to come.”

The sounds of loud voices and music hit us as we entered his house.

“Ladies!” he greeted us, surprisingly sober for the host of this massive party.

“Can I take your coats?”

“Thanks,” we both stripped of our winter gear, and handed it to Kyle who informed us it would be in his parents room. Clearly, it was his ploy to make sure that it would not become a hook up room. Unfortunately for him, drunk people usually didn’t care too much about hooking up on other people’s coats.

“Should we go find Brian?” I raised my voice to match the din of the party.

“Shots first! Brian later!” Carmen pulled me through the crowd and to the kitchen.

“Tequila shots?” I held up a bottle and a bowl of fresh cut limes.

Carmen giggled in reply, handing me two shot glasses. I poured while she located the salt within the sea of all the drinks that were scattered over the table. I handed her a glass, and she poured some salt on my hand. We steadied ourselves, and silently agreed to take the shot. The alcohol burned as it flowed down my throat, but the great thing about Tequila shots was that the salt before and the lime after numbed the stinging slightly.

“WOO!” Carmen held up her empty glass. “Again?”

“I could go all night!” I grabbed the bottle, and refilled our shot glasses for round two.

Five shots later, I stood holding some kind of punch in my hand wandering about the party. Carmen and I had broken up as she went to find Brian, while I decided to be social and make small talk with the people I knew. Small conversations about nothing that wouldn’t be mentioned passed this night, and were never anything of importance.

“Ellis!” Melissa called in her normal voice, speaking clearly over the noise. She definitely had something special. She staggered over to me, very drunk.

“Melissa!” I wrapped her into a tight hug, too drunk to remember my dislike for her.

“I…” she grabbed my shoulder for support. “Need to thank you! My night has been great.”

“Having fun with Matthew?” I stared at her smugly. Now was the time to pat myself on the back for being the head of that.

“OH YEAH! And it’s going to get even better!” she giggled, leaning in closer and motioning me to bring my ear closer to her. “He’s totally getting laid!”

“Great!” I laughed along with her. “Where is the old boy?”

“Getting us more drinks.”

As she said this, I stared down at my empty cup. The only thing left of the delightful punch was a few cherry red droplets.

“Speaking of which!” I headed back to the kitchen to refill.

“ELLIS!” Matthew greeted me by holding two drinks above his head.

“HEY!” I greeted him jovially, still too drunk to remember how much he annoyed me.

“I’M GETTING LAID TONIGHT!” he cheered, punching his two beers into the air as he danced out of the room.

I shook my head and giggled, stumbling up to the table. I reached for the ladle that hung lazily in the radioactive red punch when my hand bumped with someone else’s.

“Oh! Sorry,” I looked up to see where the voice had come from to find myself staring at someone I had never met before. He must have been someone’s date from outside of Saint Judas’s academy.

“Sorry,” I gestured to the punch bowl, signifying that he was welcome to it first.

“Thanks,” he smiled a bright white smile, and reached his hand out for my cup. I handed it over and he refilled mine and his.

“Thanks,” I stared up at him through my eyelashes. He was cute, and I wanted to flirt. “I’m Ellis.”

“Jake,” his gray eyes sparkled as he extended his hand for mine to shake.

“Who are you here with?”

“Isabella Robinson. We’re family friends.”

“Cool,” I smiled, trying to seductively sip my drink. He wasn’t attached to anyone. “She’s nice,” I added for effect.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his shaggy brown curls bobbing with his movements. “Hey,” he began after a slight pause. “Wanna dance?” he flashed another bright smile.

“Sure,” I giggled, following him as he headed for the living room.

Before, I could make it past the kitchen threshold, however, someone stopped me, pinning me against the juxtaposing wall.