Innocence

We were all sitting in some lawn chairs around the fire pit after the camp site was set up. The guys had already popped open some beers as they relaxed. Jimmy had offered me one, but I didn't think it would be too good of an idea.

"If you don't get your mind out of the clouds, I'm going to throw you in the lake," Jimmy said warningly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Alright, we need to do something fun to keep Manda occupied," Zacky said.

"We could go to the lake," Johnny offered.

"Nah, let's do that tomorrow so we have all day," Brian said, shaking his head.

"We can adventure a bit? Go hiking or something?" Matt offered.

"That sounds good," Jimmy nodded. "What do you think, Manda?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Sure."

They all finished off their beers, before we put on shoes that we could actually get around in. When we were walking, we heard some rustling in the bushes. I started to panic a bit, not liking that we were in the middle of the woods and there wasn't really any place to hide from wild animals.

"It's okay, I'll keep you safe," Johnny said, putting his arm around my waist, and trying to be the tough guy. Though, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jimmy holding a finger to his lips as he held a lizard by its tail. Jimmy dropped the lizard into the back of Johnny's shorts, just as soon as Matt and Brian jumped out of the bushes, screaming. It was a group effort. And it paid off, seeing as Johnny was screaming like a little girl, while trying to get the reptile out of his shorts.

I couldn't help but double over in laughter. It was a pretty funny thing to see. I felt bad for Johnny, but damn that was funny. Poor little guy is gonna be scarred for life... Even more.

"You guys suck," he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest after we had all calmed down.

"Hey, it got Manda to laugh," Zacky said, shrugging.

I shook my head as the boys continued to give Johnny a hard time. This was going to be an interesting trip...

After it was dark and the fire was lit, I decided that I wanted to get changed into some pajamas. "Which tent am I in?" I asked Zacky.

"Oh, the one at the end. You're sharing with Matt, by the way." I glared at him as he slowly backed away from me. "Hey, he's the one that called dibs on you as tent partner. Don't give me that look," he said, still backing away from me, even though I wasn't advancing on him.

"Fine," I sighed agitatedly, stocking over to the tent. After I was changed, I came back out, still not in the greatest of moods.

"Why so glum, chum?" Jimmy asked as I sat next to him.

"You all are fuckers," I mumbled. Matt was off taking a piss off in the trees, so he couldn't hear me.

"You found out, didn't you?"

"Ya think?"

"It's gonna be okay, Babe. He won't try anything," he said, rubbing my knee comfortingly.

"He better not, or it's going to be the end of him."

"He hasn't tried anything with you in over four years, I'm sure he wouldn't try now."

So Matt hadn't told the guys what had happened between us... Well, he still had some brains in that meat head of his...

"We should rent a boat and go fishing tomorrow," Brian said randomly a little while later.

"That sounds fun. I bet I catch the first fish," Johnny said.

"Yeah, a little tiny one," Zacky laughed.

"I'll catch the biggest one," Jimmy said, puffing out his chest.

"You keep telling yourself that, Bud," Matt laughed, patting his shoulder.

"Who's cooking tomorrow morning? 'Cause I sure as hell ain't getting up early enough for that," Zacky said. They were all silent, before they all turned to me.

I started shaking my head, before they gave me the puppy dog looks. "You're a bunch of assholes, you know that?" I sighed, throwing my head back.

"But we love you!" Brian said.

"Yeah, yeah, kiss ass." I stood up, stretching.

"Where you goin'?" Jimmy asked.

"Bed, I'll see you guys in the morning." I made my way to the tent, and quickly slipped into the sleeping bag. Matt had lay out some blankets underneath to give it some more padding, just the way I liked it... Maybe he was the kiss ass... Well, he could use it.

A while later, all the guys had gone off to their tents and Matt came into ours. He was quiet as he could be, as he settled in the sleeping bag, lying on his back. I peeked out to see if you had fallen asleep, but he hadn't. He was just staring up aimlessly.

"I know you're still awake," he said quietly, catching me off guard. He turned onto his side to look at me. "Can't sleep?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Not really. It'll come to me soon."

He nodded. "What's on your mind?" I hated how well he knew me...

"Different things."

"You want to talk about it?"

I paused, thinking it over. "You didn't tell the guys," I said, instead.

It took him a minute before he caught on. "Why would I?" He asked, confused.

"I just thought it was like 'Guy Code' or something, to tell them when you hooked up with someone; especially your ex."

"We didn't hook up, Amanda," he said, hurt slightly evident in his voice.

"Then what was it?" I whispered, not trusting my voice anymore.

He pulled me into his arms as he kissed the top of my head. "We made love, like old times. I could never just hook up with you. I can't just have sex with you and it means nothing. You're always going to be my first love, Amanda." I closed my eyes tight and buried my face into his chest.

Why was it that I could feel so at ease around him? Why could I be comforted by his touch? I was supposed to be hurt and upset with him. But, for some reason, I found that hard to do. That's why I had left when I did. I knew that if I didn't get as far away from him, that I would fall right back into his arms. But I couldn't. Not then. Who knows about know...

Only time can tell.