Innocence

“Manda, where are you going?” Brian asked confused as he saw me walking away from the group.

“Just for a walk,” I said, shrugging.

He decided not to follow me and neither did the others. It felt nice taking a quiet, little walk on my own. It gave me time to think about some things that I had decided to lock away these past few weeks.

“Why are you off on your own? You know they just want to spend time with you.”

I jumped at the sound of Matt’s voice. I guess I had been so lost in my thoughts, that I didn’t hear him come over to me while I was standing and looking towards the water.

“I just thought I’d clear my head,” I said softly.

He sighed. “They miss having you around, Manda.”

“I never said they didn’t,” I shot back.

He laughed shortly, shaking his head. “You sure have changed a lot, Amanda.”

“Excuse me? What the hell is that supposed to mean, Matt?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“You’re letting your emotions affect you. You let your thoughts get to you so much that you can’t even hang out with your friends!”

“Matt-“

“No, Amanda! You can’t even handle the fact that I might have a new girl in my life. That isn’t fair to them. They are you’re best friends, you’re family, and this is how you treat them when they’re trying to help you?! It’s complete bullshit!”

“You obviously do have a new girl in your life Matthew if she’s here with you! The fact alone that she looks sixteen disgusts me! As for everyone else, they know I still have a lot on my mind. My father just died, if you’ve forgotten. You don’t just simply get over something like that. Then with the mixed signals you’re sending me, it makes me even more confused!”

He looked at me like I had just slapped him with a fish. “I’m sending you mixed signals?! You’ve got to be kidding me!” He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “You’re the one that’s sending mixed signals, Amanda. One minute you’re all over me, then the next you say we can’t. Well why can’t we, dammit?! What is so wrong with us being together?”

I looked at him while trying to bite back the tears. “I’m just trying to save myself from being hurt again.”

His face softened as the memory hit him. “I’m- I-“he sighed, looking at the ground for a minute, before looking back up to me. “You will never know how sorry I am, Amanda. I know there’s no way to take back what I did in the past… but that’s just what it is. The past. It’s something that should stay there where it belongs.” Just by looking in his eyes, I knew he was being sincere. But that didn’t mean it took the pain away. “Please, Manda, can we just move on from the past once and for all?”

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders slightly. “It won’t just magically happen one night, but I think we can figure something out.”

He smiled softly and went to hug me, but I held my hands up. “Too soon?” He asked, giving a crooked smile. I simply nodded.

We headed back to the group, the tension between us gone. Things weren’t exactly back to how they used to be, but they were close to it. He was right, I needed to finally put the past behind me. Why had it taken me so long to figure that out?

When we got back to the group, Little Miss Teeny was off on her own, not looking very happy. This put a smile on my face…

“There you are! Where did you two sneak off to?” Jimmy asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Just went for a walk,” Matt said casually.

“Wait a minute, you and her were together? The two of you? Alone?” Teeny asked, getting all agitated and standing up.

“Look! She can do simple math now!” Brian said, being a total ass, but made all of us laugh, including Matt.

“Yeah, we were,” Matt said, not seeing what the point of her comment was.

“Don’t try acting stupid, Matt,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“No, that’s your job,” I said, before walking away from them to let the two duke it out.

“So?” Zacky asked bumping his shoulder with mine as we all went back to doing what we were before.

“So?” I asked, confused.

He rolled his eyes. “What happened on your guys’ little walk?”

I shrugged. “We just talked.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. I looked away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m sorry, Manda,” he sighed. “I just know you two.”

“It doesn’t matter what was said, Zack. What matters is that we sort of figured things out.”

He nodded, holding his hands up. “Okay, I just want to make sure you two aren’t going to randomly break out into a fight, or start ripping each other’s clothes off.”

I just laughed. “Don’t worry, that won’t be happening.”

“Hey, Manda! Feel like helping us out a bit?” Brian asked, holding the football up.

Zacky grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the boys. “Now the game’s getting started,” Val laughed as I glared at her.

We were all having fun and a great time while Teeny sat by her-self, not trying to at least be part of the group. None of us minded that at all, I don’t even think Matt minded it… It was just a nice day at the beach for us; we weren’t going to let her ruin it.

“Ah! Matt, put me down!” I laughed as he picked me up and swung me around.

“I’ve got her! Someone grab the ball!” He yelled.

“Got it!” Johnny yelled triumphantly, grabbing the ball from me.

Matt didn’t exactly let go of me right away, and that didn’t make Teeny happy. “I think you can let her go now, Matt,” she said snootily.

“And I think you can mind your own business,” Janie snapped back at her.

“Well, excuse me if I don’t want some ex-slut of his trying to steal him back.”

“Oh shit,” Jimmy muttered.

“I mean, she’s not even that cute. Just look at her! What is she pushing now, thirty? I can’t believe-“I shut her up right there with a swift punch to her nose.

“You were saying?” I snapped, before walking over to Johnny. “Can we please get back to our game?”

Everyone laughed at my casualness. “She’s back!” Jimmy cackled as he swung me around.

Matt briefly checked if Teeny was okay, before sending her on her way. Right then, I knew the whole thing was a set up to make me jealous and that now he was going to start trying to repair our friendship.