Innocence

Brian's eyes widened as he looked at me in surprise. I don't know if he was surprised that I snapped at him or by what I said.

"Yes, shit has happened in the past, we all know that. And we know that I didn't handle things in the best of ways. But did you ever stop and think that maybe I'm trying to finally put it all behind me? That I'm trying to move forward with something new instead of the same old situation?" I felt bad for saying the last part in front of Matt, but I was at my breaking point. I needed to get everything that I had been holding out. "God, I love you, Bri but sometimes you need to step back and realize when I don't need an older brother breathing down my neck."

He sat there, looking down at the table. "I didn't know looking out for someone you care about was considered breathing down their neck," he said, quirking his eyebrow.

I sighed, closing my eyes. "Bri, that's not how I meant and you know it."

He looked me straight in the eyes, and I felt my stomach drop. "No, Amanda... I really don't know what you mean anymore. You obviously aren't the same girl that we all grew up. At least I sure as hell haven't seen her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, hurt coating my voice.

"It means that the old Manda wouldn't drink her problems away! She wouldn't go back and forth between two guys like a little whore! She wouldn't run away and hide from her problems, she always stood her ground." I think I was more angry than hurt by this point. "And she damn well wouldn't abandon her family." Now that was a low blow.

I shook my head, keeping the tears at bay. "Yeah, well the Brian I used to know would talk to his friends instead of accusing them and calling them out on shit." I stood up, grabbing my glass of water. "Fuck you, Brian," I said, pouring the glass of water over his head, before I stormed out.

I needed to take walk before I did something stupid, like killing Brian. I can't believe he said all of that shit! Brian has never been a self professed asshole like that before. It seems like two of us have really changed over the last four years.

"Hey! What the fuck was that?" He growled, grabbing my arm and spinning me around.

"Brian, let me go," I said, not looking at him, afraid that the tears would spill over.

"Not until you fucking talk to me."

"Talk to you about what?! Why should I even talk to you? So you can say even more shit about me to make me feel worse about myself?" And the tears are breaking through... "So I can hate myself even more?" I whispered, before a tear slid down my cheek.

I thought I saw his eyes soften, but before he had a chance to say anything, I yanked my arm out of his grasp and walked off as fast as I could.

*Matt's P.O.V.*

I ran after Amanda and Brian, hoping I would get to her before he did. Unfortunately, that hope was crushed when I saw them yelling at each other. Before I could get all the way over to them, Amanda took off again. This was going to be a long day...

"What the fuck is your problem, Man?!" I yelled at Brian when I finally got to him. "You really are an asshole! She's your best fucking friend, and you're pushing her away more and more every day!"

He stared at me, as if he didn't know what to say. "I-" he shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You seriously need to pull your head out of your ass, Brian, or you're going to lose her for good someday." That was the last thing I said to him, before running off to find Manda.

I looked around for her for probably a good half hour, starting to worry if something happened to her. Finally, I ended up finding her sitting at a table in front of a cafe of some sort. I slowly sat down by her, trying not to startle her. She kept her head down, with her hands in her lap.

"Talk to me, Manda," I said softly, knowing she would hold it in unless I made her talk. She simply shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head. She only did that when she was on the brink of breaking down, or was already in the middle of breaking down. "Come here," I said softly, opening my arms. She looked at me with watery eyes and a tear streaked face, before she rushed over. She sat on my lap and I held her close, slowly rocking her and rubbing her back.

"You need to calm down and talk to me, Manda. This isn't healthy, you can't keep everything bottled up."

She took in a shakey breath, trying to calm herself down. "I know, but..."

"But what, Baby?"

"It's so fucking hard," she choked out, burrying her head in my shoulder.

"Why is it hard? You used to be able to tell me everything."

"Used to being the past tense, Matt," she said, barely over a whisper.

I sighed, closing my eyes. I didn't know what to say to that. Things really have changed in the last four years... We used to be able to tell each other anything. Hell! She used to tell me when she was having cramps and needed pamprin or something. So, her not being able to talk to me right now, kind of hurt.

"Why can't you talk to me now, Manda? Things haven't changed that much."

"But they have, Matt, they've changed so much."

"How?"

"I feel like I'm out of place, Matt..."

I pulled her face up so she could look at me. "What do you mean that you feel out of place? You grew up with us for sixteen years, Manda. You are always going to be apart of us."

She shook her head. "No, Matt... I was gone for four years, and I changed in those years. For the better or worse, I don't exactly know. But it seems like everyone was expecting the old Amanda to come back, and fall back into place with everyone... That's just not possible, though. I'm a total different person, and I just don't think some are willing to accept that."

"For starters, you haven't changed that much. It's inevitable though, Babe. Everyone changes as they get older! We've all changed a little since high school. And the only one that hasn't realized that, is Brian. I honestly don't know what his problem is lately, but we're all ready to knock the shit out of him." I stroked her cheek softly. "You will always have a place here, Manda. Nothing will ever change that."

*Zacky's P.O.V.*

I decided that I would take my chances and try to go find Manda on my own. We haven't heard from Matt in about an hour, so I figured it would be best if I just went next.

Soon, I found her... And Matt...

To say that it hurt, seeing her in his lap, would be about right. I knew he was just comforting her, but it still sucked. Just by looking at them, they seemed like a true couple. They've always been meant for each other, but it seemed like something was always keeping them apart.

Were Manda and I meant to be together? Or were Manda and Matt meant to be together? That was the ultimate question.