Innocence

It's been a few days since the barbecue, and I hadn't left the house since. I didn't want to take the chance of running into anyone. I knew I had to start looking for a job soon though. I couldn't keep living off of my parents. They need the money more than I did, right now.

The hard thing was I didn't know where to go. Yes, I had been working on my book, but I knew I needed a steady job while I worked on it. It was going to take me a really long time to establish myself in the writing world, so I needed something to keep me stable for the time being.

"Why don't you just go work for Zacky's mom at her salon? I'm sure she wouldn't mind the extra help." My mom suggested as I looked at the newspaper for jobs.

"One problem, Momma, I can't do hair or any of that," I sighed, shaking my head.

"I'm sure she'd give you a receptionist job, or something."

It was an idea...

"I'll ask her about it when I call her later," she said, as she went along with her cleaning.

The only bad thing about going to work for Zacky's mom might mean running into the guys again. I didn't know if I wanted that or not. I missed them like crazy, but they always hang out as a group. That would mean Matt would be around. I couldn't ask them to not hang out with one of their best friends because of me; I wasn't like that. It was just better to ignore them all together.

The door bell ringing snapped me out of my thoughts. I told Momma I would get it since she had her hands full.

When I opened the door, I had to hold in a groan. This was not going to be easy.

"Hey, Manda! I helped Mom bake cookies and brought you some!" Kenna said with her sweet, little smile. Damn that smile...

She wasn't what I was put out about. Brian stood right behind her. "Thanks, Kiddo. Go ahead and go to the kitchen, I'll be there in a minute." She nodded and skipped off. I looked back at Brian and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What?" He asked, trying to seem innocent.

"You totally bribed her."

"Pfft, yeah right, I would never..." He trailed off, knowing by the look on my face, that he had been caught. "Aw, come on, Manda. I just wanted to check on you. You ran off before any of us could check on you."

"I'm a big girl, Bri. I can take care of myself."

"Then why do you keep running?" It was a low blow, but he had a point.

I shrugged. "Because I don't think I have enough strength to face my fears."

"That's what the guys and I are here for. We've always been here. You just need to let us help."

I looked up at him with a sad smile. "I don't think you guys can help with this one, Bri."

"Maybe we could, but you're just being too stubborn."

"Don't start, Bri. Please, I'm not in the mood."

"Come on, Manda. Let's just go for a quick walk. We don't have to touch that topic if you don't want to."

"And how do I know you're not tricking me?"

"Look at this face. Would I ever trick you?" We were both silent, before we started to crack up. "Oh, shut up, Little Girl."

"I am not a little girl," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Uh huh, sure you’re not."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Haner."

"I'll wait while you get some shoes on," he said, leaning against the door jam. I knew there was no way out of it now.

I sighed, going upstairs to slip on some flip flops, before going back down stairs. "Momma, I'm going for a walk with Brian. Call the Coast Guard if I'm not back by morning," I called to her as I walked out the door.

"That's nice, Sweetie!"

"I see you haven't lost you're sarcasm." Brian smirked as we walked down the drive way.

"It hasn't been that long since we've seen each other, Bri."

He sighed. "Yeah, it has, Manda."

"I knew you were going to start, but not this early," I said, shaking my head.

"What do you expect, Manda?! One day my best friend's here, and the next, she isn't! You disappeared off of the face of the earth! What happened to you? Why did you just leave?"

"It doesn't matter, Bri. I'm here now."

"Yes it does matter! We thought something happened to you. When we talked to your mom, she was just as worried!"

"But she knew where I was!"

"That doesn't mean she was going to stop worrying!"

I stopped walking, but I didn't meet his gaze. "If this is all you wanted to talk about, then we're done here." I turned to walk away.

"Manda-" He grabbed my hand and turned me back around. "I'm not trying to scold you or anything like that. Please don't think that. I just wanted to talk to you and get back in touch... I don't want to lose you again. None of us do," he said softly, looking at me with sad eyes.

I caved in. "You're not going to lose me. You guys never did. I just got distracted for a little while."

"Yeah, a little while too long," he said in a joking tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, let's go home and eat some cookies," I said, taking his hand in mine and walking back to the house.

It was a distraction for the time being. I didn't want to stay on the topic, even though I knew it was going to come up again soon enough. I just needed to figure out what I was going to say...