The Only Exception

How did I get here?

It is a question I frequently ask myself. Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is absolutely horrible. As I stand under the darkened, snow falling sky I can only ponder and wait for a reaction. Shoving my hands deeper into my coat pockets, I felt my nose go rosy. I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from running to make it on time.

"Shaun!" I called as he finished his run. Shaun was too far away and I couldn't see his face. My heart raced as his crunching feet became closer.

A little lost? Ok, I'll back up a bit. And then after that I'll back up more. It was the middle of summer when I saw him again, before all of this ever happened.

I couldn't believe my eyes. There he was sitting, casually typing on his laptop. Out of all the book stores in the mall he had to pick the same one I was at? Peeking around a book self to the area with tables, I had to double check just to make sure that mess of red hair was him. It was. Quickly turning back I leaned against the book case and hugged the book I was holding close to my chest. My mind spun as I squeezed my eyes shut.

Maybe this situation was unavoidable. I mean I've seen him several times since we've split up or whatever you want to call it… But he was right by the check out, maybe I didn't need to buy a book today. Right? Although, there hasn't been a new book in my house in months, I can only read the same one so many times.

Ok, suck it up! If I'm smooth enough he won't even notice me. Besides, if I didn't recognize him right away maybe he won't recognize me…yeah, what a lie. I know that mound of hair and freckles anywhere. Well, maybe if I stalled enough, he'd leave. Nope, he just ordered a coffee… damn. Checking my phone for the time I realized that if I didn't check out soon I'd be late for dinner. My dad wouldn't believe this either.

Bucking up I held my head high and stepped towards the register. Although, I managed to run into one display and drop my book twice. This shouldn't have been getting to me so much, I mean, I'm a tough girl.

"Your total is $16. 28." The man mumbled as he tore off the receipt.

Nodding I took it and began signing, still I kept an eye over my shoulder. He was looking back…I jumped as my phone began going off-- loudly. Now everybody was watching me as I dropped the pen and fumbled in my purse. Facing the opposite direction I answered. It got lost. Where do lost calls go? To Germany? Anyways, that's besides the point. Once exchanging the slip of paper for my plastic bag of books I bolted to my car. Passing him was the worst, his eyes followed me all the way to the doors, it was the least I could do to look the other way. But, it nearly caused me to biff it on the door. Normally I'm smoother, especially when I'm not under pressure.

After exiting the store my phone got better reception, it then started ringing again. Checking who it was this time I picked up to my father.

"Hello?" I placed one hand on my head and paced by the door of my car.

"Lydia!" My dad bellowed.

"Hey…"

"Everything ok kiddo?"

"Yeah, I've just had an interesting day. That's all. So, what's up?"

"We just wanted to know when you're coming home." I heard a small 'yeah!' in the background. Smiling to myself I leaned against my car.

"Soon, dad. I'm- I'm in the car." I lied, I didn't want to talk about it. I knew he press on further to see what was wrong.

"Ok, we'll see you then."

"Yep, bye Pop."

Sighing, I crossed one arm over my body and rested my head on the hand still holding my phone. The car next to mine lights went on and was being unlocked. If only I had left sooner.

"Lydia?" A voice called.

Glancing up I held in the groan in my throat. I smiled, hiding my true feelings, and nodded, "Shaun."

"I thought- Um, I thought I saw you in the book store." Shaun stuttered, remaining on the driver side of his compact car.

"You did." How couldn't he? I made a big enough scene.

"So, how is everything?" That's when I noticed he was struggling for words, a trait that was totally uncharacteristic. So, it wasn't just me.

"Good, and you?"

"Good. I just got home, to find out our internet isn't working."

"Oh, I see. My dad and I watched some Olympic events… But we never caught you." What. A. Lie. I went as far as to TiVo it. Don't worry, I'm not a creeper or anything.

"Oh." His face fell a little, it made me feel indifferent.

"I was just heading over to his house right now." Trying not to cringe at my horrible lie I manually unlocked my car. Jeez, I'm making it sound like I'm visiting, not living there. Shaun nodded and a very awkward silence started, "I'm gonna go."

"See you around."

Holding back the urge to stop dead in my tracks, I shrugged it off. Come on, it is a figure of speech. The drive home, fortunately went well. I managed not to get into an accident, although I was still distracted beyond belief.

If I said I secretly didn't want to see him that day I would have been a liar. I just wish that when I finally did, it wouldn't have hurt as much.