Lost in Stereo

Jade's Point of View

I was relieved when Alex and I finally were able to go to bed that night. It had been a really long and stressful day, but all in all, it had turned out okay for Skye and Zack. I decided to stay over in order to spend a little time with Alex without Jack hovering around and making things awkward. We laid down at the same time and then Alex reached over to turn the lamp off. I waited for him to get settled before I rested my head on his chest and threw an arm around his middle.

“Weird day, huh?” Alex commented, finally breaking the silence that had fallen between us.

“That’s an understatement,” I scoffed in agreement. “One minute, I was apartment hunting, and the next I was finding out my best friend was pregnant. It’s kind of bizarre.”

“By the way, how did that go?” Alex asked, running his fingers up and down my back.

“It was good,” I replied. “We looked at a bunch of places, but we all finally decided on one. It’s not too far from here, and the rent is more than reasonable for the size.”

“When are you moving in?” he asked.

“Soon,” I answered. “We’ve gotta get everything worked out, and Liz is the only one that knows what we’re doing, so we’re letting her handle it.”

“That’s cool,” Alex commented. “If you need any help moving in, just let me know.”

“I can’t, you’ll probably be on tour,” I said with a sad laugh. “Besides, I think with the three of us, it’ll be fairly easy. Plus Liz’s boyfriend can help.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Alex sighed. “Depends on when you move in, too.”

“When are you going back on tour?” I asked him.

“Too soon,” he answered. “I can’t remember when, exactly. Flyzik knows.”

“Flyzik knows fucking everything,” I chuckled. I didn’t want to see Alex go anytime soon. We were just starting to get back to normal. The last thing I wanted to do was have this conversation, so I tried to shift the subject. “I wonder how Zack and Skye are going to work this out.”

“I don’t know,” Alex said. “They’ll figure it out. They’re solid. I’m just wondering what you and I are gonna do.”

I sighed. “Do we have to have this conversation right now?”

“We have to sooner or later,” he insisted. “We should just get it out of the way now.”

“Can we please not?” I begged. “I’m in a good mood. Don’t ruin it.”

“It might not be that bad,” Alex said, ignoring me. “You’ll be busy with school. You probably won’t even miss me at all. You’ve got all your friends back here. And you can come to some of the closer shows, and we can spend a lot of time together in between tours. Plus we can Skype and text and whatever. It’ll work.”

I wanted to ask him what was going to happen when he saw some attractive girl while he was away. He could sleep with her and I would never even know. I didn’t want my mind to wander in that direction, but with our past experiences, it felt only natural. Alex had changed a lot for the better, but I wasn’t sure how long that persona would last without us actually being together.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I agreed half-heartedly. “But you’re crazy if you think I’m not going to miss you.” I kissed his chest, snuggling closer to him. “I might miss this most of all.”

“You never did like sleeping alone,” Alex semi-laughed, kissing me back on the top of my head. “I told you, we’ll make it work. If Zack and Skye can do it, so can we.”

I wished I could say that that made me feel any better, but my mind kept racing for most of the night. Alex fell asleep shortly after our conversation ended, so I was alone in my insomnia. I rolled off of him after he’d started to snore and leaned back against my own pillow, sighing. I decided to take a break from trying to sleep and crawled out of the bed as motionlessly as I could so that I didn’t wake Alex up. I stumbled to my bag in the dark, silently sifting through the worthless junk I carried around until I found my journal and pen. I took them into the bathroom and sat down on the floor near the bathtub and wrote for a while, hoping to release some pent up anxiety.

When I was satisfied and felt a little better, I came out of the bathroom and stuck my journal back in my bag. I crawled back under the covers and joined Alex. He shifted so that his arms were loosely around me and he was breathing on the back of my neck. I felt ridiculously content in that moment, but then felt that doubt creeping back into my mind. How long could this really last?