Lost in Stereo

Jade's Point of View

It was incredibly awkward riding with Zack. We’d never spent much time alone together, and though I liked him, I had no idea what to talk about. It was like being with Rian, where we could pretty much have a conversation about anything, or being around Flyzik, which only ever resulted in us fueling our desires to bitch about everyone and everything. I was clueless as to what to talk to Zack about. It wasn’t like I could come out and say, “So, how about that appointment, huh?”

“Where am I dropping you off?” he finally asked. “Your place of Alex and Skye’s?”

“My place,” I answered. “I’m still pretty tired, so I might go nap. Is Alex feeling any better today?”

“I guess,” Zack said. “I didn’t really see him, although he guilted me into going to that appointment with Skye.”

I got irritated at that. “You should care about going. If you don’t care, then just tell Skye straight out so she can find someone that does fucking care.”

“I never said I didn’t care,” Zack said, also getting angry. “Jesus, you’re really gonna get on me about this too?”

I ignored that. “Did you or did you not say that you’d be there for Skye?” He didn’t respond. “It’s an easy question.”

“Yes, I said that,” Zack muttered, his fists clenching on the steering wheel.

“Look, she told you that if you don’t care, then walk away,” I reminded him. “She gave you an out. If you want it, take it. But don’t string her along.”

“Jesus, it was just a doctor’s appointment,” Zack complained. “It’s not like I missed the fucking birth.”

“You’re the father for crying out loud,” I said. “You’re supposed to go to the appointments. All the ones you can make, anyway. If you were on tour, that would be different. But that’s hurtful that you voluntarily wouldn’t go. If Alex did that to me, I’d be pissed. And trust me, Skye’s pretty fucking mad.”

“Well, what can I do now?” Zack asked. “It’s over and it’s done with. I probably won’t be here for most of the appointments. She’s just gonna have to get used to it. She knew that going in.”

“This is like talking to a brick wall.” I shook my head furiously. “You know what? Stop the car. I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“Fine,” Zack agreed without trying to stop me. He pulled over to the side of the road to let me out on the sidewalk. “See ya.”

I didn’t say anything to him as I got out, but I slammed the door behind me before he drove off. My house wasn’t too far away, so the walk didn’t seem so daunting. I stewed the whole way home, angry about Zack’s attitude and also a little upset at Zack and Skye’s relationship. It didn’t seem like she’d be letting him off the hook for this one, and in my opinion, rightfully so. But they always seemed so solid to me, like they could get through anything. This was big.

I made the walk back to my house and then texted Skye to let her know I’d gotten home okay. I didn’t bother telling her about the fight I’d had with Zack since I was pretty sure we’d end up talking again later that day. I felt tempted to text Alex and see what he was up to, but I decided to leave him alone and give him his space. Maybe he was having doubts of his own.

I went to my room for a little while to enjoy the peace and quiet of Jack not being around. He was either still sleeping or had gone over to Alex or Rian’s. After a little while I decided to make myself something to eat. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table reading.

“So I heard that Skye’s pregnant,” Mom mentioned as casually as she possibly could.

“Yep,” I nodded at this. “You heard correctly. Who told you that, Jack?”

“He did,” Mom confirmed, giving me a nod of her own. “He also told me that you and Alex are back together.”

“Right again,” I said, though I wasn’t sure how much longer that was going to last.

“Jack also mentioned that you’ll be moving out soon,” she continued.

“Jack should go work for the CIA,” I scoffed. “It’s like he has a bionic ear.”

She ignored me on that one. “Why don’t you ever tell me things anymore?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Skye’s pregnancy isn’t really pertinent to your life. Alex and I just got back together a few days ago. And you’ve known I was planning on moving out at the end of the summer since January. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to you.”

“I didn’t think that was really happening,” she said. “I thought that was just one of your ideas.”

“No, I was actually serious about that,” I told her. It was like the woman didn’t listen. “Liz said we should be able to start moving stuff in about two weeks when I talked to her yesterday.”

“It’s going to be weird not having you around the house,” she said. It seemed like she was trying to guilt me into staying. “You’ll be gone, and so will your brother. I’ll really miss you.”

“Mom, we don’t talk anyway,” I sighed. All I had wanted to do was get some fucking food, not have some discussion about my life choices. “I’m old enough to move out. That’s what I want to do. I need something else. I can’t just cling to this because I know it. Jesus, I can’t even move around here without you or Jack on my ass.”

“I didn’t realize you felt that way,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry that you do.”

Her tone made me feel guilty about my little outburst. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget it.”

“If I gave you some more space, would you stay here?” she asked a little desperately.

I shook my head. “No, probably not. I just need to be on my own for a while, Mom. I’ll visit and call you and stuff, but I have to do some things for myself. I have some stuff I need to work through. I need a change of scenery, and I can’t get that if I stay here.”

“I thought maybe going on that tour would help you with that,” Mom said. “I guess not.”

“No, not really,” I said, smiling a little. “It was a nice idea, though. And I did make a decent amount of money. But I have to leave, Mom.”

She nodded, though she didn’t look like she fully understood. “I just wish you’d talk to me.”

“And maybe I’ll get to that point,” I told her. “But I can’t if I stay here. I can’t keep doing the same old, same old.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how right that was. I needed to do something different, to not keep coming back to what I knew just because it was comfortable. And that might just include Alex.