Arranged

Joshua was confused as hell. Sade had disappeared except for a text saying he would get home on his own. So that left Joshua that hour and a half drive home to clear his head since Sade was not picking up his damn phone.
He couldn't get over the fact that the kid had kissed him. No. . Not "the kid". Sade. His name was Sade. The sooner he started thinking of him that way, the sooner he would be able to sort things out. To fix things.
Fix things? What the fuck could he fix? Was there anything to fix? And if so, how in the hell did he go about starting to do it?
Joshua pressed the gas, speeding down the desolate highway as if he could leave all his problems behind him. As if he could outrun them somehow.
He sighed and eased up on the pedal. There was no point in killing himself, he thought. Besides, Sade would probably end up blaming himself if something happened to him right now.
Joshua smiled at that. Sade really did worry too much. He cared a little too much about everyone else, but somehow left room for himself. He was spoiled, but he wasn't. He was cute, but that kiss had told Joshua that he was in no way naive or a child. It had been sloppy, sure, but he'd been upset. Joshua had noticed the skill behind that kiss. The experience that spoke volumes.
And the way he'd tasted hadn't been so bad, either.
Joshua made a frustrated noise, wanting to bang his head against something. What the hell was he thinking? They were seven years apart, for crying out loud! There was no way something like that would work. .
"God, I need a drink," he grumbled as he entered town.
His mind was spinning all with thoughts of Sade. His face just wouldn't leave his head. His smile, his pout, his tears. The face he made when he was angry. The way he blushed. .
And the way the hurt in Sade's eyes had pierced right through him. That was the worst, he had to admit. It was a look that told Joshua that Sade knew there was no going back once he crossed the line. A look that told Joshua that, on some level, he had betrayed Sade. Had pushed him too far, too hard. That all of this was his fault.
"Oh, hell," Joshua cursed as he pulled up to Manor House. He was so freaking screwed.
How in the world was he going to explain his way around this one? Not only that, but how was he going to come to terms with the fact that he'd gone and tumbled head-over-heels in love with a teenager who probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore?
"Well," Joshua said to himself as he parked. "He's just going to have to fucking deal with me anyway."



Rhone's headache was worse and Nessa had yet to wake up. It seemed that Jay's showing up had been a bigger shock than they all had thought. And now that he knew the whole story, Rhone could understand why. Well, somewhat. He could relate more to the boy's situation than Nessa's.
But nothing was going to get solved until Nessa woke up. They all had questions, but it seemed that she was the only one with answers. And Jay was not exactly forthcoming with information, sitting there and staring at his wife the way he was. Rhone wanted to gouge his eyes out. And with the way Shade was glaring at the boy, Rhone guessed Shade wanted to even more so.
Shade was one jealous puppy. that was going to be a problem for him if he didn't get a hold of himself.
"Why is Nessa here?" Jay asked softly, his eyes still on Nessa.
They were in the library - the closest room to the bathroom that had a couch Nessa was currently on. The lights were dimmer in her, thankfully, so Rhone's headache wasn't so bad, but it was stuffy and smelled like old books and important papers. Work, that's what. And the faint smell of his Dad's cologne was nauseating.
He hated this place.
Rhone held up a hand, stopping Shade from answering. "Nessa's part of my family now," Rhone said easily. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. This was, he wasn't sure how Nessa would react if Jay found out. And there was not telling how this Jay-character would react to finding out Nessa was married to him, either. And dating Shade. For all they new, he was a loaded pistol.
"Family. . " Jay mumbled with a sad smile. "She always wanted one."
What the hell? How does this guy know what Nessa wants? Sure, he had dated her, but that was over a year ago. People change. Rhone was proof of that.
But he held back on his frustration, because Joshua walked in. Man, he was so out of it. he hadn't even heard the front door open.
"Here you all are," Joshua said. "I looked everywhere for yo- wait a second." He frowned, taking in the room and eying the unfamiliar face in the library. "What's going on?"
Rhone sighed and waved a hand at Shade to explain. When he was finished, Joshua's head was spinning. Again.
Ma, there was so much drama in this house.Joshua rubbed his temples, trying to stop the headache that was forming there from becoming any worse. Between the thing with Sade and now this, he wasn't so sure the headache was going to lose.
"Let me guess," Joshua said to the boy, dropping his hands and eying him. "You're here to take her back?"
The boy's brows raised lightly and Joshua was caught off guard at the sadness in his eyes. "If Nessa allows me to, then, yes, that's what I'm planning."
Both Shade and Rhone stiffened at that, their bodies jerking straight and their blood boiling. There was no way in hell they were allowing this boy to come in and take her away. No freaking way.
"Jay," Joshua said partly to distract himself from thoughts of Sade and partly to stop the murder he was sure was going to take place if either Rhone or Shad were left alone with Jay. "How old are you?"
The question threw everyone off just enough. Jay didn't look any older than sixteen or so, but you never knew. He could be seventeen.
"I'm nineteen," Jay said, making everyone's jaw drop in shock. He offered a smile. "Yeah. I know. I look younger."
"Way younger," Shade agreed.
"Jesus," Rhone swore. "You look like a middle schooler. Are you really nineteen? You're not just saying it for a laugh?"
Jay reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flashing Rhone his Driver's License. Sure enough, it proved his age.
Rhone rubbed his hands over his face. "Fuck." He was in so much trouble. Nessa already didn't like him and was dating Shade. Now he had to deal with the ex-boyfriend, too? He was never going to have a chance with the way things were going.
A ringing sounded and everyone looked up.
"It's not me," Joshua said, pulling out his phone.
"Me, either," Jay put in.
"Mine's upstairs," Rhone answered.
"It's Sade," Shade said, looking down at his screen. His eyes snapped to Joshua's, noticing the way he jerked at the mention of his brother's name. Joshua looked away as Shade flipped open the phone. "Sade. Everything okay?"
Joshua put his head in his hands and stifled a frustrated groan. He was in so much shit.
"Slow down," Shade said into the receiver. "Yeah. ." His eyes snapped to Joshua, spitting fire. "He's here. What happened?" There was a pause. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? . . Yeah. . No. Not right now. Nessa fainted and we've got some trouble here. . Yeah. I'll tell you later. . Okay. Later." He snapped the phone shut and glared at Joshua. "Sade's really upset. He said he's taking a bus home. I thought you would take him home."
Joshua gave him a skeptical look. "He didn't tell you what happened?"
"He only said that he's ruined everything and he'd tell me when he got home." Shade narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"
Joshua blinked, affronted. "Me? I didn't do anything. Your brother attacked me and then ran off."
Shade opened his mouth, but Rhone was the one who spoke, "Save it, guys. Nessa's waking up."
As one, they turned to watch as Nessa stirred, then opened her eyes. She put a hand to her forehead. "What the hell happened?" She had had the most shocking dream. She'd dreamt that Jay had come looking for her.
And how scary would that be? Her heart nearly dropped out of her chest at the thought. She wouldn't know where to begin with him. Or what to say, how to act.
"I had the worst dream," she said softly. She turned her head towards them. "I dreamt-" Her heart stopped as she took in the man staring at her with green eyes. "J-Jay."
He gave her a sad, soft smile. "Hey, Nessa."
Nessa could do nothing but stare in shock at the man that had made such an impact on her life. The man that had shattered and scarred her heart so badly that she couldn't find words to describe the pain.
He looked so different than she remembered. But, then, it had been a year and a lot must have happened. He would be a father by now - a thought that was hard to wrap her head around.
His hair was shorter than she remembered. When once the brown mass had fallen well down his back, it was now barely reaching the end of his neck, the strands fried, pointy and falling into his eyes. Eyes that were as green as a forest and used to shine like the sun that were now shadowed and sad and. . angry?
He was skinnier, too. More worn, though he was still a lady-killer with his high cheeks, pointed chin and nose and wide, full mouth. A mouth that wasn't giving her its blinding smile anymore. A mouth that was full of worries.
She reached out, then pulled her hand back, sitting up. She squeezed her eyes shut. "This can't be real." She opened her eyes again. "You can't be real."
Jay reached out and took her hand gently, placing it against his cheek. "I am real. Touch me, I'm warm. If you cut me, I bleed. I'm as real as you are, Nessa."
Rhone cleared his throat and Nessa was reminded that they weren't alone. She pulled her hand away, feeling guilty.
She snuck a glance at Shade. Oh, man, he was pissed. Again. His face was red and he was glaring daggers at Jay. Nessa couldn't say she blamed him for that, but Rhone was doing the same thing and that was just kind of weird.
"Jay," Nessa said into the heavy silence that suddenly filled the room. His name tasted bitter on her tongue. She steeled herself. "Why are you here?"
he smiled again, a hint of his former self shining through. "To come and get you, of course."
"Jay. I live here now." What other excuse could she give him? Panic was growing steadily inside her, but she didn't know why. Was it because she still loved him? Was she so afraid to face him? To face that pain again?
He grabbed her hands and squeezed. "Nessa. I've come to take you back with me. To live with me. I don't know why your aunt suddenly decided to kick you out, or why you ended up here, but I don't care." He looked down at their hands, his thumbs caressing her skin. "I love you." Nessa heard Rhone and Shade suck in a breath at that. "I want to start over with you." He raised his head, his eyes pleading. "Come back with me and let's start over. I need you."
Nessa stared at him, trying to hold back her tears. She had waited so long to hear that. Had waited without even knowing for him to come back for her. But now that she was faced with the option, she could only bring herself to feel hollow.
Nessa's eyes searched the face of her past, searching for something. What it was, she wasn't sure, but she wasn't sure if she could find it there.
Gently, she pulled her hands back and stood. Unable to face him, she turned away, swallowing back her hurt. "I can't," she breathed. "My home is here now. My life is here. I can't just throw that all away and run away with you." But, God, part of her wanted to. Part of her wanted to take the hand she knew he was offering and disappear into the sunset with him. The rest of her was still racing to catch up, though, screaming at her to wait, to slow down. To remember where she was and who she was. To remind herself that she had changed.
"I have a boyfriend now," she continued. And a husband, she added silently, not wanting to tell him that particular tidbit of information. "I can't just drop everything because you tell me to."
The room was silent for a time. As the ticking of a clock somewhere in the distance sounded, Nessa slowly unclenched her fists, not even realizing she'd balled them until she felt the sting of her nails biting into her palms.
"Fine," Jay finally said, his voice quiet but firm. "Then I'll win you back."
Nessa rounded on him.
"Excuse me?" Rhone asked in shock. "What the fuck do you mean, you'll 'win her back'?"
Jay stood. "It's easy, really. I'll show Nessa how important I am to her." Her smiled softly at her. "How much she loves me still. And, when she realizes that, I'll bring her home." His smile turned wide and Nessa was greeted with the full force of the Jay from her memories. It made her heart ache. "Until then, I think I'll stay here with you, Nessa."
"Hell no!" Rhone protested, shooting out of his seat, ignoring the wave of dizziness that passed over him. "Forget it! You are not staying in my house."
Jay cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're house? I thought this was Nessa's place?"
"I live with him," Nessa said wearily. She was so tired of the drama and more than a little afraid of what might happen next.
Especially since Shade was being so quiet.
"All the more reason for me to stay here then," Jay said easily. "You shouldn't be left alone with your boyfriend like that."
Like you're one to talk, Nessa thought. Instead, she said, "Rhone's not my boyfriend." She pointed to Shade. "He is."
Jay pursed his lips, eying Shade. Shade eyed him right back. "I see." He turned his eyes back on Nessa. "Nessa. I would like to stay here, if it's alright. I won't do anything stupid. I promise."
"Nessa!" Rhone exclaimed. Joshua tried to calm him down. "You're not actually going to let him, are you? Who knows what he'll do to you! You can't trust him!"
Nessa stared at Jade - at his soft face, his kind but sad eyes - and she saw their history stretch out before her. She saw their laughs, their cries, their smiles. . but, most of all, she saw their love. The beginning and end of their friendship.
She found herself wanting to rebuild the bridge. To repair even a sliver - a fraction - of what had been lost so they could have some kind of future together. Some kind of hope that they could remain in each others lives in whatever fashion.
Rhone may have been right: She might now know what he'd do, but some things were certain. She knew without a doubt she could trust him. That sill had not changed.
Without even realizing , she found herself saying, "Joshua. Please find a room for him. I'm going to clear my head." She turned on her heel. She needed sleep. A shower, too. A nice, long, hot one. But, as she reached the door, she looked over her shoulder at him. "Jay," she said softly, "things can never be the way they were. You know that, right?"
His voice came out sad and disillusioned. "Yes, I know that. But we can still try."
Nessa didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. Instead, she left the room and tried to hold back all the emotions threatening to erupt.
But as her feet carried her faster and faster down the halls of Manor House, Jay's words kept echoing in her mind.
We can still try.
Yes, she thought, they could still try. All she needed to figure out now was, did she want to?