Arranged

"He'll call," Shade reassured Sade. He laid a hand on his shoulder. "Stop thinking so much."
Sade stopped staring at his phone long enough to look up at his brother.
He was miserable. Joshua wasn't going to call. That realization had sunk in nearly a week after Joshua's last call. Now, nearly three weeks later, Sade's phone still had yet to ring, but still - in some small part of his heart - he held some hope that the next time his phone vibrated it would be Joshua's name appearing on the screen.
But that was never the case. Every time it turned out different, his heart broke a little. He was surprised that, even now, there was still something left to break off.
"You know," Sade told his brother with some scorn, "you could take same of your own advice."
Shade smiled a little. "Yeah. I know." He sat down at the kitchen table, handing his twin the second mug of cocoa and cradling his own. He sighed. "We're a couple of hypocrites in deep shit."
"No kidding." Sade didn't even touch the hot chocolate, choosing instead to flip his phone between his hands, willing it to ring. Of course, it didn't, damn the thing. "What're we gonna do, Shade?"
Shade scoffed. "Well, I am going to do nothing. I can't anyway." He took a sip of the warm chocolate, finding some comfort in the craziness that was his life. "But you, Sade. You are going to go see him."
Sade played innocent. "Who?"
Shade narrowed his eyes. "Don't play dumb. It's too late now. You've had one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel for a while. Now that you've finally slipped, you gotta dig your way out. You can't just lie there." He took another drink. "So. Get out there and chase the dick."
Sade stared at Shade in astonishment. Shade never talked like this. Shade never told him how to handle his relationships.
"You don't like Joshua?" Sade managed, trying to ignore Shade's grim analogy.
Shade stared at his twin in disbelief. After what he just said, that's all Sade got from it?
He sighed, wanting to bang his head against the table. "Not so much anymore. I mean, he's a decent guy, but I'm not sure if I like him for you. It pisses me off."
Sade's eyes widened and he smiled. "Why, my dear older brother, are you afraid he's going to take me away from you?"
Shade looked horrified, but his blush gave him away. "I-I am not! Don't go getting any weird ideas."
Sade smiled wider and threw his arms around his brother. "Aww! Don't worry, snookums. You'll always be my number one. Twincest is always best!"
Shade stumbled away from him, trying ot dislodge the leech, flustered. "Who wants that?! Get off me. You're clinging like a wet condom. It's gross!"
Sade made kissing noises and clung to Shade as he dragged him around the room. "Now you're using sexual innuendos. I knew you cared!"
Shade tripped then and took both of them down to the floor. "Like hell I do! There's none! No love at all!!"
Sade laughed and straddled Shade, shoving his arms under his brother to grip him in a hug. He laughed against Shade's chest. "Just say it," he teased.
Shade laid there and let his brother cuddle. How long had it been since they'd actually said they loved one another? A while, for sure. Years, maybe. Sadly they'd grown apart somehow. They were no longer the inseparable twins they had been as kids. They were so different now. Why hadn't they seen that?
Shade wrapped his arms around his little brother and held him close. "Yeah," he said gruffly. "I love you. Gayness and all."
Sade blinked. Seriously? What in Tigger's toilet had gotten into Shade? He never said he loved him. It was obvious, sure, but he never said it.
It didn't mean Sade wasn't going to bask in the glory, though.
After a few minutes, Shade actually realized what he was doing.
He cleared his throat. "Uh. . Sade. Can you get up now?"
Sade blushed, obviously figuring out the embarrassment of the situation and quickly scrambled away.
He ran a hand over his hair. "Uh. . Yeah. Sorry."
They stayed silent, not looking at each other, waiting for the awkwardness to be over.
A noise cut through the air, coming from the kitchen. Sade and Shade looked at each other, then quickly scrambled up and ran to the table.
Sade's heart pounded as he glanced at his phone, lying face-down and vibrating in circles as it rang. He reached out to pick it up, but pulled away, afraid.
"Come on, Sade," Shade encouraged. "You gotta climb out sometime."
Sade bit his lip and grabbed the phone.



Nessa was ready to shoot someone. Or internally combust. Either way, it was going to be a big, bad and bloody mess. Things were just too hectic. It was becoming more and more obvious that this situation - whatever it was - wasn't working. At all. Not for anyone and especially not for her.
She really needed to talk to someone. To unload. Bottling all of this up inside and turning it over and over was just tangling the problem even more. She was getting lost in a maze of her own making and, without someone to point her in the right direction, she had a feeling she would stay lost.
But Shade wasn't talking. And he wasn't listening, either. Jay was too busy trying to get her to live in the past and Joshua mooned over his phone all day, confused and quiet, keeping whatever it was that was bothering him a secret to the rest of the world. And Rhone just wasn't an option.
Nessa couldn't fathom unloading all her problems and doubts on him. She was almost positive he would listen, but she was also sure she wouldn't get anything help from him, either. He would probably tell her fuck it, the fuck him. And that was so not happening in this lifetime.
Not that she would mind if it did.
She shook her head, dropping it on the kitchen counter with a bang that sent it ringing.
What was she thinking? Her and Rhone? As if.
But, man! What she wouldn't give to kiss him one more time. He was a really good kisser. . And his hands! Hoo-mama, that boy knew where to touch to set your blood boiling and turn your legs to jelly. She would love to give that a-
She stopped. What the fudge?! She didn't even like Rhone and she was thinking about rolling around in the hay with him. Sure, she felt bad for the shmuck. Now. But that didn't change the fact that he'd made her go from one hell to another.
If it wasn't for the fact that she and her Aunt absolutely hated each other, she would have left. Slavery was easier than this mess.
She banged her head on the table again, timing each strike with her words. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."
"You know," Terry said, waltzing in with a smile. Nessa's head shot up. "Just because it's Halloween vacation, it doesn't mean you have to keep rattling your brain for answers. I'm sure the school will understand if you slack off just a little."
Nessa gave a relieved smile. "Terry." She stretched out her arms, placed her cheek on the cool counter, and watched the large man move efficiently around the kitchen, pulling out mugs.
"Joshua!" Terry raised his voice. Something crashed behind the door and Nessa heard a curse. "Stop eavesdropping and get in here."
Grumbling, and embarrassed Joshua walked in, phone in hand and sat at the counter next to Nessa as Terry put the kettle on for tea and pulled out tea bags.
Joshua set his phone on the counter, silent and grim, watching the thing with both anticipation and trepidation.
He was so angry. With himself, with Sade. . With everything, really. He'd screwed up royally, and now all he could do was wait and hope. Hope that Sade would ever call him back because Joshua had stopped trying.
It was a gamble, to be sure. Trying to get Sade to chase after him when he'd spent so long chasing after Sade was a huge risk. But, obviously, it was a chance Joshua was willing to take.
He just didn't know what to do now that Sade had called his bluff. Or not called, as was the case. It'd been three weeks already. When was the waiting going to end?
"Alright," Terry said, pulling the kettle off and filling their cups. He set the steaming cups of Jasmine tea in front of them and sat down with his own. "Who's going to start?"
Nessa and Joshua looked at each other, both unwilling, but wanting to talk.
Terry set his chin on his palm and waited.
Joshua motioned to Nessa. She sighed and took a breath then everything began to tumble out, one word after another. All her pain, all of her confusion, all of her anger and frustration seemed so trivial when said aloud, but it was wreaking havoc on her system. Her heart hurt, her head ached and she wanted to just give up and run away, but she knew that wasn't an option.
So, leaving out Rhone's "confession", she told Terry everything.
"And that's it," she finished. "I'm just so confused with everything. I feel stuck, you know? Like everywhere I turn, there's a brick wall that appears out of nowhere."
Terry nodded. "You have a right to be. This kind of drama doesn't happen every day. But, Nessa, don't you think you're over-thinking things?"
Nessa eyed him. "Over-thinking? If I'm not supposed to think, then what am I supposed to do?"
Terry smiled gently and placed a hand over his heart. "Feel."
Nessa blinked, the word sinking in like lead. It was so simple. So easy. All she had to do was feel and everything would be okay.
But there was a problem.
"Uh. . " She looked down into her untouched tea, blushing. "What if you don't know what you're feeling?"
It was Terry's turn to be surprised. "Oh, well. . Then. . " He rubbed a hand over his bald head. "I can't really help you with that."
"I think," a voice said. The door swung open and they all watched a robed Christopher enter the kitchen and go to the fridge. It was well after ten in the evening, after all, and the servants had to get up early. "What Terry means is that that's something you have to figure out on your own. No one can tell you how you feel." He yawned, tapping his chest. "It all comes from here. And only you have access to that particular web of emotions." He plopped next to Terry and worked the top off the water bottle he'd grabbed. "Right, Ter?"
"Exactly."
Nessa nodded slowly. "Yeah. Okay. That makes sense." She turned the focus on Joshua. "So. . What's your problem? It looks like you're waiting for the phone to ring and someone to tell you your dog died."
Joshua sighed and slumped on the stool. "Yeah. It's Sade."
Nessa's brows first rose in surprise, then lowered in suspicion and worry. "What about Sade? He's been acting funny, too. In fact, he started acting weird about the same time you did. I thought it was about Jay coming into town. Am I wrong?"
God, please tell me I'm wrong, Nessa prayed.
"Not exactly. . " Joshua offered lamely.
Nessa crossed her arms. "Meaning?"
Joshua swallowed. "Well. . I, uh. . I kind of. . " He mumbled something inaudible.
"What? I can't hear you." Nessa asked, leaning forward.
He mumbled again, a little louder, but still indistinguishable.
"Joshua," Terry said firmly. "Just come out with it already. What did you do to the poor boy?"
He glanced at Nessa, slightly scared of her wrath. "I kind of broke his heart."
"You did what?!" Nessa shouted, surprised and angry. When had this happened and why hadn't she been told?
Joshua put his hands up in defense. "Now, hold on just minute. Don’t freak out just yet. It wasn't my fault. He sprung it on me out of nowhere. I had no time to react - which is probably the reason he's not talking to me."
Nessa huffed into her seat, not even realizing she'd risen. She'd kill Joshua. Later. After she got the facts.
So, Joshua spilled his story, frustrated more than he could say in words and still trying to figure out where exactly he'd gone wrong with Sade. He just couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't as if he had been unkind. They'd gone to movies, Joshua had given the twins rides home, they'd hung out, gone to lunches, dinners. . . For all he knew, they'd all had a good time.
When had that changed?
"I don't think the problem was that you were mean in some way," Nessa said after listening. "It's just that you're too nice."
Joshua choked on his tea. That seemed to happen a lot around Nessa. "Excuse me?" he asked between coughs.
She rolled her eyes. Joshua was really observant with everyone but himself. Sometimes, it really worried Nessa that he was so thick-headed.
"Well," Nessa started. "If you were in love with someone, but knew you had no hope, would you want them to be nice to you?" Nessa shook her head. "I don't think so. You'd be wondering every time they did something if it meant more than what it might in a normal situation." She gave Joshua a penetrating look. "Being nice can hurt."
Joshua looked down at his phone, hating himself.
Damn it, he was fucked. How many times had Sade's heart been broken because of him? How many times had he read the situation wrong and had that fact thrown in his face?
Jesus, Joshua was an asshole.
"You know," Nessa said slowly. "I bet he's waiting for you to call."
Joshua's head whipped around to her. "What? There's no way. I called one-thousand-two-hundred and forty-seven times! I left fifty-eight messages! There's no way he's going to pick up."
"Have you tried in the past three weeks?" Chris asked pointedly.
Joshua was at a loss for words. He stared at his phone. There was no way Sade would pick up. He had every right not to. And what would Joshua say? What could he say? He was sorry? For what? Stepping all over the kid's heart? Or for having to do it again because he couldn't get past the age thing?
"But I-" He stopped. Took a breath. "I can't. I just can't."
Nessa patted his hand and picked up his phone. She flipped it open and started going through his contacts.
"What are you doing?" Joshua asked, worn out.
Terry sat back and sipped his tea, enjoying the show.
"I'm erasing Sade's number," Nessa told him easily. "Since you're never going to call him, you obviously don't need it."
Joshua's heart pounded loudly and his eyes widened. Frantic, he reached out, scrambling to get the phone.
"Give it back!" Joshua shouted. He grabbed for the phone, but she slid it to Terry, out of his reach.
"I have to agree with Nessa," Terry said, picking up the phone. "You don't need his number." He pressed a button and smiled, holding up the phone to show the screen saying "Contact Erased".
Joshua sank into his chair in shock. His heart dropped to his stomach and he felt like someone had sucked out his soul. It was hard to breathe, hard to think.
"Why?" he whispered. Tears actually filled his eyes, but he didn't care if he looked weak. He was damned upset. "Why did you do that?"
"What?" Terry mocked. "Were you going to actually call him?"
"I can't now!"
"Quit your sobbing," Terry snapped, sliding the phone to Joshua. "I didn't delete the number."
Joshua snatched his phone, rushing through his contacts to find Sade's name still in his contact list. Relief filled him and he glared at Terry. "Then whose number did you delete?"
"Mine." Terry smiled. "I'll re-enter it now that you've come to your senses."
Joshua grimaced. "I don't want it anymore."
Christopher snorted back laughter.
"Don't be stingy," Terry said. "So. You've made up your mind?"
Joshua blinked. "Huh?"
"You're going to call Sade, right?" Nessa asked, pleased with herself.
"I-" Joshua ruffled his hair in frustration. "I just don't know!"
Nessa sighed. "It's okay, Joshua. It's not like you have to have an answer right now. Just sleep on it, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks." Joshua grabbed his phone and stood, pausing by Nessa as he turned to leave. "Nessa?"
Nessa looked up from her tea. "Hm?"
Joshua gave her a quick kiss, startling her. "Really. Thank you."
"Uh. . " She gave an embarrassed laugh. "Yeah. . S-Sure."
As Joshua left, Nessa downed her tea, wishing it was alcohol.
"Well. . . " Chris started. "That was entertaining."
"I love teasing Joshua," Terry sighed dreamily. "But I do feel bad."
"Yeah," Nessa agreed. "But he needed the push. Tough love, and all that."
“Reminds me of how my wife deals with our daughter," Chris said with a smile.
"Yeah," Terry put in. "Most kids get like that after a while." He glanced at Nessa. "Did Joshua's dilemma help you any?"
Nessa sighed. "Some, actually." It helped her see even more so that she couldn't run away. She couldn't hesitate. She had to think things through and act. She couldn't not talk to them about this. The board was set and it was time to make the first move.
She smiled at Terry. "Terry, I love you."
"Well, that's lovely to hear." The cook laid his hand on Chris', surprising him. "But, you see, I've already promised to run away with Christopher."
Nessa laughed as Chris pulled his hand away quickly, mortified. "Hey!" he protested, his face red. "Don't go bringing me into this."
Nessa laughed harder.
"I tell you," Terry huffed. "This house is so cold."
As Chris and Terry continued their playful banter, sending Nessa into peals of laughter, Joshua sat on his bed and stared at his phone, wondering what he should do.
Should he call, or shouldn't he?