Her Tomorrow

I hear footsteps following me. I run faster. My heart races, my breathing quickens. As I slow down, the night goes silent again. Must have been my imagination. I keep walking, hands in my pockets hoping whatever it was was gone, imaginary or not. A little voice inside my head told me it was real but I really, really hoped it wasn’t.

I turn the corner and a shiver shoots down my spine. Him. He’s near me, somewhere, hiding. I make a dash for my house and burst through the door. I slam the door and lock all three locks. Unfortunately, it does little to make me feel safe. Afterall, never did any good before, why would it now?

The stairs creak under my footsteps as I climb upstairs to my room. Sam’s door is slightly open but he‘s not there. He never is. Mom’s here though. The door to her room is shut and probably locked but I can hear her snoring.

Once in my room, I shut my door. I slide off my jeans and tee and climb into bed. Thoughts and questions race through my head as I lay there wishing to fall asleep fast.

Tomorrow will be just another day, another sunrise, another sunset, another day wishing it was tomorrow. Whatever. Waking up doesn’t matter anyways. Mom will never smile again. Sam and I will never be close again. Dad is never coming back. Everyone else gave up, why can’t I? Or rather, why won’t I?

The tossing and turning ceases and total darkness sets in.

- - -

I reach across to the bedside table and hit the snooze button. 6:15 a.m. Damn it. I’m awake. I have school. And none of this was really a bad dream.

I grab a pair of jeans and a tee with a rip on the shoulder smoldering with a bad memory but I slip them on anyways. I grab my bag and I’m headed down the stairs. Passing through the kitchen I grab a pop-tart and just as I open the door, a hand slams onto my shoulder preventing me from moving forward.

“Let me out Sam.” I try and pull free but his hand is too strong.

“Maybe I don’t feel like it.“ He laughed. He was high. It was on his breath along with the biting smell of vodka. He had probably just gotten home.

“Sam. Let. Me. Out. Now.” He smiled. His eyes were red, and eyelids slightly dropping down/

“Say please.” He laughed, but the tone was closer to a giggle than a laugh.

“Please.” I said through my teeth, my hands balled into fists.

“Nope.”

“Sam. Let me out. Now.” My knuckles were white now.

“Or what?”

I took one fist and threw it at him. He caught it, wrapped it behind my back, and shoved me up against the door. “What are you gonna do now? Huh?” He laughed and the smell on his breath made me want to vomit. “You know what? I’m feeling generous. I’ll let you go.” He let me go and opened the door for me.

Under my breath I muttered “Asshole.” Smack!

“You don‘t talk to me like that. Got it?” He was pissed but in a confused sense. He knew he was angry and he knew why but wasn’t really sure what to do about it.

I bit my lip and ran out the door. Fuck him! I don’t need him!

The air is cold on my face as I head for the corner and wait for the bus. The chill stings my nose and ears. The bus turns the corners and I climb on board.

The faces on the bus are the same faces I see everyday and the same ones I’ve seen since I was in preschool. They’re all the same blanks eyes, the same fake smiles, the same everything. Yeah the clothes are different, yeah they got older, but they’re all the same. No one has changed.

“Get out of the way freak.” Kayla, the most popular girl in school stood behind me, her arms crossed and her posture slanted as if she were trying to make her butt actually look like it existed. Normally I’d act as though she didn’t exist just like I had been doing for the past 11 years of school but today I decided to fight back. To start, I let her go by.

As she passed I pulled a button on the back of her pink, plaid, pleated mini-skirt, the one holding the zipper shut, without her knowing. It will come down later when she “accidentally” drops her bag and bends down to get it in front of Michael, the football captain. . I smile and laugh to myself as I imagine the whole scene. She drops it, bends down to get it, hears the RRRIIPPP of an opening zipper, face goes scarlet red, straightens up and accidentally knocks someone over or something becoming even more embarrassed, then tries to run away to saver herself from more embarrassment but ends up continuing to make a total fool of herself all the way to the bathroom to hide.

I take my seat at the very back of the bus. Normally you’d think that’s where all the popular kids sit and so that’s where all the action is, but not on this bus. I made it clear that this is my seat my first day as a freshman three years ago. No one sits near me. I guess they’re afraid or something. Honestly, I have no clue. They used to, but not anymore. I don’t care. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to be alone.

The ride was long and boring as usual, just me and my music. When we reached our final destination, he was there, leaning against the wall near the door. Damn it Max. Why today?
When I said my final destination, I sure didn’t mean it that way. The only way to avoid him would be to go through the back door and I would most likely get caught and given detention.
Well, at least its better than dealing with him. Anything’s better than him.

I sprint around the corner praying to whatever God is up there that he didn’t see me. He caught me right as I turned the corner. Shit. He grabbed me and shoved me against the wall.

“I’ve missed you Jessie. Where you been?” His breath smells of liquor and smoke. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” I can feel the rage building up from all the pain he caused me those 2 years ago but at the same time I feel the fear he led me to feel.

“Why don’t you scream baby? Why don’t you scream my name? I want you to scream it like you used to..” His palm flies to my face delivering a smack that sent my head into the wall.

Pain seared through the side of my head that hit the wall.

Then I felt that warm, wet, trickling sensation I know all to well, blood.

“Go away! Please! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!” I try to push him away but he only holds me tighter. His grip is blocking the circulation in my arms making them start to go numb.

“But I want you Jessie. I love you.” He smiles that snake-like smile. Shivers shoot down my spine. “You belong to me.” He moves in for my face so he can try to kiss me. I scream and bite his lip.

“You little bitch!” He sends a fist hurling toward my face. Then another one follows. “I own you! You will do as I say!” He uses one hand to hold mine and the other for my face. I try to bite him but to no avail. He kisses me and muffles another scream. One defense left, my legs.

I send a knee right into his groin. “Fuck!” He bends down and his grip loosens. I break free and run.

“Jessie you little whore! Get back here!” He screams after me as a chase begins. Then next thing I know he has me again, this time on the ground and is giving me more hits than I can count. He sends them to my stomach, my face, my chest, my legs. Any part of me he can get to.

“Leave her alone!” are the only words I hear before all goes black as I fall into darkness from a final blow.

- - -

Sirens are blaring, lights are flashing. I hear a voice. A boy, maybe my age? What is he saying? Then another voice, “Jessie?” I know that voice.

“Chris?” I can barely hear my self and I can’t see a thing. I tried opening my eyes and the light was too bright. It stung forcing me to shut them tighter than before. I learned that not only did it hurt to open them, but to close them as well as pain shot through my head.

“Jessie! You’re awake! You’re in an ambulance. We’re taking you to the hospital.”

“We?” I’m so confused. Who else would be there? Chris is my only friend.

“Jessie. It’s Michael. Michael Daniels? From the football team?” I felt his hand grab mine. It was soft, and warm. It sent shivers through me, but good ones, warm tingly ones. I tried to pull my hand away but I couldn’t move my arm. It hurt too much.

“Jessie. Michael saved your life. He’s here to make sure your okay.”

“Where’s Max?” I started to panic and tried to get up but neither my body nor whoever was in the ambulance with me let me.

“He ran once he saw me. The police are looking for him. You are safe now don’t worry.” He gave my hand a quick squeeze.

“Chris. What happened?” I reached trying to find him. He took my hand. “Jessie. We‘ll tell you.” He paused. “Actually I’ll let Michael because he was there. For now, just rest, and relax. Please. You‘re not in good shape.”

“But h-” Someone put a finger to my mouth. The warm shivers returned. “Shh. Rest. You’re safe. He’s not coming back.”

With both of them holding my hands I relaxed my muscles as best I could and laid my head back down. I slipped back into darkness.

- - -

2:38p.m. What happened?

I opened my eyes for the first time since what seemed days. The light in the room was bright but not too bright. Someone had pulled the shades enough so the sun was on the floor and not in my eyes. I touched my head where it hit the wall. There was a cut as big as a quarter that had scabbed over.

As I rolled over I noticed a letter. It was from Chris.

Jessie,
I know I said I’d always be by your side. I know I said I’d always be there for you. I feel like I broke that promise. I wasn’t there when Max was. I feel like I let you down in a time that really mattered. I would be there with you now but my mom is making me go to school. You know how she is. I will be there everyday after school to see if you’re awake. If not, I’ll try to be there for you when you do awaken. Take care and get lots of rest!
-Chris

I folded it back up and put it back down. He felt responsible? He’s not! There’s nothing he could have done to prevent it. Shit! Why does Max always have to ruin everything and everyone around him?

The doorknob moved and I jumped. I grabbed the knife set on the tray they brought with my lunch on it just incase it was Max. He was the last thing I needed. I wasn’t going to take his shit anymore. I tried not to be afraid, but my hand holding the knife shook.

It was just Michael. Just Michael? No. It was just Michael. I just had to figure out who “just Michael” was. I tried to relax my hand but it was in vain. I was still tense.

“How are you feeling? You had us all scared. You’ve been out for 2 days.”

“What?!? Two days?! That’s not possible. I was just in the ambulance with you and Chris.

He left a letter saying he just went to school.”

“Jessie. Is it alright if I call you Jessie or do you prefer Jessica?”

“Jessie’s fine.”

“He was here yesterday and the day before for hours hoping you’d wake up. Your mom came by too. She didn’t say a word or have any expression. Your brother, I guess, was here too. He took one look at you and stormed out.”

That‘s odd. My mom never does anything for anyone else anymore. And Sam? What‘s his deal?

“Why are you here?” I’m not sure what he read on my face or even what was on my face but he stopped walking towards me and put one hand in his pocket.

“Because I want to make sure your okay. That guy really did some damage. Who was he and
why does he have it out for you?”

“Why do you feel responsible for checking up on me?” I felt almost flattered but that little red flag in my head was waving. My harsh tone wasn’t needed but I couldn’t help it.

He just looked at me for a minute. “You know, I don’t know. But does it matter?” He almost looked hurt. I immediately felt bad.

For the next five minutes or so, we sat there in an awkward silence. “Thanks, by the way, for saving my life.” I smiled at him then looked back away quickly to hide the blush blooming on my cheeks.

He seemed a bit surprised. “Oh uhh, no problem. That face is too pretty to get messed up.” He smiled back. His cheeks showed hints of pink but showed no more than that.

“You’re gonna have to be careful now. You protected me in a way and he won’t like it. If he feels threatened or the need to, he will come after you. Don’t save me or protect me again or he’ll try and kill you.”

“If I see that guy near you again, he’ll be the one running. Why are you so afraid of him anyways?” Now he looked worried. What was with this guy?

“I liked it better when you just wanted to know if I was ok.” He laughed. I smiled. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I don’t mind.”

“Telling you might put you in more danger. He’s not the kind of person you want after you.”
He looked into my eyes and touched my hand. I pulled it away. “Look, I don’t care to be honest. I’ve known who you are since 5th grade but never had the courage to know you. I’m here now. I want to protect you from something that doesn’t have to happen.”

“Why do you want to know me? I am nothing. I am worth nothing. I am a nobody. I can take care of myself. I always have. I-” I stopped. I could tell I was making him upset.“I’m sorry.”

“I should be the sorry one. There’s probably something you should know. Well, actually a few things.”

“Do I want to know?”

He shrugged. “Better to find out from me than someone else. He’s my stepbrother.” He hung his head with a sigh. “My dad died four years ago. My mom got remarried and go figure, he turns out to be his son.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad. My dad was involved in a fatal car crash two years ago. I know how it feels to lose someone that close.” I felt bad but now that red flag in my head that was waving before was now ripping from the force of the wave.

“No. I’m sorry. Sorry about your dad. Sorry that I didn’t stop him. If I had known he was seeing someone, this never would have happened.”

“It’s not your fault so stop with the guilt trip. It won’t take you anywhere. Believe me, all it does is cause hurt. I let it get out of control and now I am paying the consequences. Doesn’t matter anyways.”

“Doesn’t matter?!? He beat the crap outta you! For a long time! If h-” I stopped him.

“Look. What’s done is done. I’ve learned that much. You can’t change the past, but you can have a future worth chasing. I made some mistakes. But now I have the chance to fix it.”
He looked at me. “Jessie…” He paused for what seemed like hours but was probably only about 10 minutes. How time flies in times of dead silence. “It’s late. I have to go.” He got up, put on his football jacket, and headed for the door.

“That Chris kid, he’s not your boyfriend is he?”

“No.”

“Ok.” He left but not after trying to hide a smile and what looked like a sigh of relief if anything.

The next twenty minutes dragged on as if the clock had nothing better to do than mock me and my inability to leave. Maybe it was a half an hour. I don’t know. All I know is that it took forever. I spent that time trying to figure Michael out and why I wanted to figure him out. I knew this much. He saved my life. He was Max’s stepbrother. His touch sent warm tingles throughout my body. His smile made me smile. Did I really want him to leave me alone? Then Chris walked in interrupting my thought process and time proceeded as it should have in the first place.

“Jessie! You’re awake!” He hugged me gently for a while and then took the little blue chair from the corner and sat next to me. “I can’t stay long but I had to come by.”

“Michael was here too today. We had a chat. I guess you could say it was nice.”

“How nice?” His smile started to fade.

“About as nice as pepper spray in your eye. Max is his stepbrother Chris!”

“Shit Jessie! Is he after you too? Did he hurt you?” He gripped the chair so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“No. He didn’t touch me. He just sat there and talked to me. I’ll be on my guard though, just in case.” His grip relaxed a bit.

“Please do. I gotta get going though. I’ll come by tomorrow and see how your doing.” He hugged me, grabbed his bag and ran out the door.

- - -

They kept me there for two more days and released me on Sunday. Neither my mom nor my brother showed up. Big surprise. They refused to let me leave without an escort so I called Chris but there was no answer.

I begged them to let me walk the few blocks to my house and they gave in after hours of constant begging and whining. Not the smartest move after Monday’s attack but I just wanted to go home.

It was a really nice September afternoon. The sun was out and a quiet breeze was blowing. Everything seemed perfect but that’s when things go especially wrong. I enjoyed the weather but did not let my guard down. I keep my eyes aware

My house was maybe two miles away. I said only a few blocks so they’d let me leave. After about 20 minutes of walking and the only sound around me was of cars and trucks whizzing by, I heard a voice and footsteps heading towards me.

I quickened my pace but they got louder. I started to run but a hand grabbed my arm. I turned and swung with my free arm. They caught it.

“Jesus Jessie! It’s only me! Didn’t you hear me?” It was Michael.

“Christ Michael! Don’t ever sneak up on me like that again! I can’t hear shit over these damn cars!” My heart was still pounding but I left my fist relax. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.” My cheeks blossomed scarlet again.

“Sorry? No need. I should probably be though. I didn’t really think it through. I saw you walking and just acted. You shouldn’t be walking home, especially alone. Wasn’t your mom or brother supposed to pick you up?”

“They didn’t show and Chris didn’t answer. So I convinced them to let me walk.” I tried my best to have a confident, independent face on but he didn’t buy it.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come.”

“I didn’t have your number. And I didn‘t think I‘d be seeing you again to be honest.”

“Fair enough. At least let me give you a ride home?”

I hesitated, trying to read him and his intentions. I found nothing other than sincerity. “Fine. But just this once.”

“Great. Wait here, I’ll get my car. I had to park it to catch up to you.” He broke into a run while smiling the whole way.

I heard a voice but not the words as soon as he was gone. A familiar shiver ran down my spine. Max. I turned around to face the forest about 50 feet behind me. A shadow ducked behind a tree and disappeared. That was him. I’m sure of it. A rose lay in the grass, still shaking from being dropped. I looked but I couldn’t see him. He had disappeared.

I heard Michael pull up behind me and I jumped inside.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I looked at the rose on the ground quickly. “I’m fine. Just take me home. Please.”

He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me. “Alright then.” He put the gear in drive and drove off.