Her Tomorrow

I must have fallen asleep for a only a little bit. When I looked outside, it was still dark. I thought I smelled Chinese so I went downstairs and sure enough, there was a bag of it on the table with a note from Sam.

Jessie,
Help yourself. I already ate and Mom went out for the night. Put leftovers in the fridge.
-Sam

I went over to the cabinet and took out a plate. I put some food on it but not a lot because I wasn’t that hungry. I zapped it in the microwave and went back up to my room. As I sat on the bed, my phone rang.

“Jessie. How are you doing?” It was Michael. I swear my heart did something funny and my stomach agreed.

“Fine. Why are you calling? You and your mom ok?”

"Yeah. But I was wondering if you’d like to go to a movie again tomorrow night.”
I thought about it for about a minute. “You mean like a date?”

“What? Oh uhh…not if you don’t want it to be I guess. And also, I kinda want to talk to you about earlier.” He must’ve been blushing. I could practically hear it in his voice.

“What time?” I gave in willingly much to my surprise.

“7 good for you?”

“Yeah. See you then.”

“Great. See you in the morning.” He hung up.

It’s not a date. We’re just going to the movies, alone, again. Fuck!!! Should I’ve said no? I can’t let anything happen this time, but why do I want it to happen again?

- - -

“Morning Jess.”

He leaned over and took my bag from me and put it in the back seat.

“Morning Michael.”

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. He put the radio on to tune out the silence. When we got to the school he got out first. He went around the car and opened the door for me while handing me my bag. I got out and took my bag.

He shut the door behind me and we walked inside. He grabbed my hand as we headed to my first class. I took it away. I wanted to hold it but something wouldn’t let me. Instead he put his arm around me. When we got to my class, he pulled me closer almost to hug me but I guess he felt me tense up and released me. “I’ll see you soon.” He squeezed my arm and left for class.

I felt bad because I wanted to. He saved me more than once true, but it something else drew me to him and was also pushing me away. I shook it from my thoughts and went into the room.

Silent stares followed me all the way to my seat. I just kept my eyes looking down to avoid theirs. Even if they weren’t physically looking at me they wanted to and I could feel it. I was never the prettiest girl or the one all the guys dreamed about being with. In fact it was the opposite. But all of a sudden I felt attractive. I felt powerful. Girls were jealous of me. I felt like that girl everyone wanted to be. And I hated it.

Class dragged on for what seems like years. The whole time I spent drawing in my notebook. I drew my name and I drew Michael’s name then scratched it out and wrote Mike. It seemed like a better fit. It sounded nice. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t like him! I slammed my notebook shut but not loud enough so that people can hear me. The bell rang and I ran out only to bump into him.

“Hey. Sorry about that.”

“Hey. And don‘t worry about it. My fault.” I looked at the ground knowing people were watching.

“Can I walk you to your next class? Or would that make me a bad guy?” He smiled. That smile is getting harder and harder to resist.

“Sure.” I looked at him and smiled back. Just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean I’m a bad actress right? Been doing it my whole life. I can do this. I started to walk and he mirrored me at my side. I decided to be bold and show that I wasn’t afraid or weak and brushed my hand against his. He took it. Our fingers laced.

His hand was warm. Everything around us seemed to disappear. I got snapped back to reality when he let go.

“Jessie, we're here. You feeling ok? You look a little dazed.”

I looked at him for a second to process reality. “What? Oh. Yeah. Thanks. See you later.” Same good-bye as before only this time I didn’t tense up, and we hugged for real.

The rest of the day had the same story over and over again. Staring, warmth, confusion. I was relieved when the final bell rang. This feeling changed when I saw Mike waiting for me right outside. He took me home. The ride was much like it had been on the way there this morning.

I did my homework and laundry, my heart and thoughts full of bliss and confusion from the bliss, and about an hour after that Michael called.

“Hey. Can I take you go out now? I mean, I know we‘re going to the movie tonight and everything but there‘s something I want to show you first.”

“Umm. Depends. What were you thinking?”

“Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” Oh, how I wanted to say no, but in truth I really didn’t. I guess I really didn’t want to fall for him, but couldn’t, no wouldn’t, deny that I was.

“Sure. I’ll go. I’ll just leave a note for Sam.”

“Ok. I‘ll be right there.” He hung up and about 2 seconds later he was outside my house. I should’ve known he’d be close and that he’d known I’d say yes.

I walked outside as he was getting out of the car to come see me.

“You don’t look surprised to see me so soon?” He smiled and winked.

“You’re not as predictable as you think you know.” He laughed then out one hand into his pocket. “So where are we going?”

He smiled again. He took my hand with his other and asked, “Do you trust me?”

“Sure. Why not? I mean, you’ve only saved my life, what is it 3 times now?” I laughed.

“Lets go then. What are we waiting for?”

Then he smiled his smile, and handed me a blindfold he pulled out from his pocket. “Trust me.”

He made me wear the blindfold for the whole ride but held my hand so I didn‘t argue. We drove for what felt like hours but in reality was probably only 30 minutes or at most 45 minutes.

The car stopped and he released my hand. He got out of the car. I felt fear growing but then it subsided. He opened my door and helped my out guiding me so I wouldn’t hit my head or anything else for that matter and minded my still-bandaged arm.

“Where are we?” I still couldn’t see but I had no choice but to trust him at this point.

“You’ll see. Just trust me.”

He took my hand and pulled me along. We were walking on what I knew was not the road. I still couldn’t see but I had to trust him. The breeze became colder. The sun was going down. We stopped.

“You can take it off now.”

I hesitated and took off the blindfold. We were on a small cliff over a lake. Waves were crashing against the side.

“Why are we here?” I shivered.

He moved closer and offered to hold me to keep me warm. I moved closer and he wrapped his arms around me. He was so warm.

“See those lights over there?” He pointed to a place not to far away on the other side of the lake. “That's our town. It doesn’t look like much during the day, but it’s pretty at night.”

“Why are we here though?” I had to admit I was a little nervous, but I doubted it was because of him. I wanted to trust him but I couldn’t fight the feeling in my stomach.

“I wanted to show you two things. The first is that even the place you dread the most can be beautiful. The second is proof that you can trust me and that you do trust me. I met you not to long ago as person, and not just a face. I wish we met officially under different circumstances but we didn’t and before we knew it you got into my car, I put a blindfold on you and drive you to a place that only I knew about. You can trust me. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

I stood there for a minute. He actually made sense. I did trust him. But how much?

“Mike…” I hesitated not really knowing how to verbalize what I wanted to say. “I do trust you, I guess, but…” I sighed. “I don’t know how far I’ve let you in. or even if I want to let you in. I just don’t know.”

“That's another reason I brought you out here.” He let go and turned me towards him. “I don‘t want to be just another guy to you. I want to be what you deserve. But it’s probably asking too much.”

I stepped back. “What do you mean?” My stomach started feeling a little funny. This is never going to end is it?

“I know I haven’t known you for very long. I mean, I’ve known who you are since, what, 4th grade with Mrs. Simmon? But that's not the point. The point is, I like you. And I know it seems like a bad time and that we only started talking a few weeks ago. But, no don’t walk away please.” I stopped and he stood in front of me. “That night at the movie, I kissed you and you ran away. I wanted so bad to chase after you but I thought that it would just make things worse. I was not about to let you just run though. That's why I showed up at your house, which I apologize for.”

I stopped him. “Look, Michael. You’re a really nice guy and you’ve helped me more than I can every repay you for but… “ I stopped. The feeling in my stomach grew stronger, almost like I got punched in the stomach. “Let’s just go. Please? Take me home.”

“Ok.” We walked down to the car and drove back in silence.

We pulled up out front and saw that my front door was kicked in. Something in my heart told me to run but I had to see. I opened the car door and ran in. Michael tried to stop me but his jerking caused the seatbelt to lock up and trap him.

My chest was pounding. I ran upstairs to find my room trashed. My brother wasn’t here and neither was mom. My window was broken and spray painted across my wall was “I’ll always be here, just like I told you I would be. I promised to never leave. Together forever Jessie! Together forever!” I heard a noise downstairs and my heart stopped. I ran and hid in my closet. I prayed my heart would be silent.

“Jessie?!” Michael. I forgot he was here. God, I’m so pathetic! I stepped out of my closet. He ran into my room and saw me.

“Jessie! Oh my God, are you ok?” He stepped toward me with his arms out. I stepped back for a second then without thinking I stepped forward into his arms and after recovering from the shock of me hugging him, he wrapped his arms around me.

I started crying. He asked again, “Are you ok?”

I wiped my eyes and stepped away. “I’m sorry. I just..” I stopped again. Why are words so hard to find around him?

“Look,” he said, “I know you are afraid. And I know that maybe you’re afraid of being hurt again, or that I’ll turn out like him. I promise you, that I will never hurt you. I’ll never treat you like he did. I am not him. Just please give me a chance. Give me a chance to be that guy. I’ll protect you from Max. Just please, give me a chance.”

“Michael….”

“Jessie. Think about it before you answer. As much as I want you to say yes, I want you to decided for you and not for me.” He stepped forward and pulled me close. He kissed my forehead and then held me.

“Now let’s get you out of here. I don’t want him finding us here. You can stay at my house.” I guess that means the movie’s off. He led me to his car and we drove to his house.

His mom was a little surprised to see us but it was almost as if she expected because she acted as if this was normal.

“Go upstairs, I’ll be up shortly. I’m just going to talk to mom. Be right there.” He went into the kitchen and I went upstairs. I washed my face and waited for him. He came up the stairs.

“Are you ok sleeping alone?” He threw me one of his t-shirts.

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Alright. Well, my room’s right there if you need anything and mom’s is over there. Good night Jessie. And please, think about what I said.” He turned and walked towards his room but waited to enter until I was safe in the guest room.

- - -

12:57 a.m. I can’t sleep. Where is mom? Where is Sam? More importantly though, where is Max? When is he going to leave me alone? Can Michael protect me? Can I trust him? He didn’t hurt me at the cliff. What‘s wrong with me? Why can’t I face him when he’s nice? Yeah, he’s related to Max but not by blood. They’re two completely different people. I should give him a chance. I owe him that much. And more than that, I want that much.

I waited in my bed, thoughts flowing through every crevice in my skull. He said to come get him if I had trouble sleeping right? I got out of bed and stood outside his door. I waited as if I hoped he was somehow up and going to open the door and let me in, but I knew that it was near impossible, after all it was the middle of the night.

I knocked very lightly. No answer. I opened the door. It was very dark but I could make out his form on his bed. I shut the door behind me and walked to the side of his bed.

“Michael?” He stirred a little. “Mike?” He opened his eyes and sat up a little. His hair was a mess but it was kind of cute, and the fact that he was pretty much half asleep made it a hard not to smile.

“Jessie? Are you ok? What are you doing here?” He was trying to wake up but was still very groggy.

“I can’t sleep..”

He relaxed then slide over and opened his covers. “Here. You can sleep here tonight. And if you want, I can just wait until you fall asleep then go to the other room.”

“No. I don’t mind.” I got into bed next to him. He lay towards me. I lay at a small distance from him then moved closer. His presence seemed to comfort me. He put his arm over my side and held me. It wasn’t long until darkness took over me.