Hmmmm, Blood...

Some humans looses their memory when they join our kind – some, their whole identity. Others their looks or feelings. Most of them just their way of living and their needs. After their change, it’s the life that comes that counts. A life filled with murder, death, unity, loneliness, secrecy, grief, happiness and love.

”Jade, are you there?” Dave asked appearing before my bed. But I knew, he knew that I was there. Long before he’d come through the door he'd been able to smell me – probably even all the way down from the hall. And where else would I be? I could’t handle to be anywhere else. So it was a stupid question which made me chuckle a little.

He smiled in the darkness and sat down by the bed. “Are you asleep?”

I sat up and carefully shook my head. I was still dizzy and it burned in the back of my throat. It was the worse cold turkey I’ve ever exposed myself to. But I did it for him even though he didn’t know. Or even knew that I existed in the shadows.

Dave gently lay his hand on my cheek and his fingers flicked over my face. “Why are you doing this?” there was a discreet, shaky tone in his voice that convinced me that he really felt something for me.

I sighed and looked away. “You know how I love to test myself,” I lied and chuckled to cover-up the lie a little more.

He believed it but I could still sense that he thought that it was wrong. He advocated what we were and didn’t feel that there was anything wrong with it, unlike myself. I didn’t wish to be like this – that was why I did something about it. But I was disappointed by myself. Only now had I pulled myself together to do something about it and I knew that it was only because of him. Why didn’t I have the strength to change something on my own? Why should he be the turning point?

“Scoot over,” Dave whispered and I moved further onto the middle of the bed, and lay down again. He was under the duvet before I blinked. The next fraction of a second he had his arms around me and sniffed my hair.

I breathed and was ready to fall asleep. Now I could finally feel safe and relax when Dave was on my side. I could never know what Dave was doing when I was not with him. But because of those things that I knew he was doing, I couldn’t go with him. I wouldn't give up for anything now, now when I’d come so far. One month without food was unthinkable for Dave. But for me it was reality.

“We’ll go home tomorrow, okay?” he whispered behind me and carefully stroked my arm with his fingertips.

I carefully nodded. “Okay,” I answered and closed my eyes. I could need some sleep. It was after all what I got my energy from – what kept my going if that was what I was doing. I lay in bed all day and night. I didn’t have the strength to get up. Or keep my eyes open for that matter. Or reciprocate Dave when he kissed me on the neck and tried to get contact.

He sighed when I moved a little away from him. “I don’t like you staying here,” he exclaimed unhappy but still reaching for my shoulder. “Come with me next time. I’m going for a quick round just before we’re going home. Come with me,” he whispered pleading and I sighed. I knew that he would get his will. At first he would plead then use power. It had before ended … badly - a mess. But we’d left it and moved away. The neighbors would've been nothing but suspicious if they’d heard our ‘fight’ which the whole city might have. Yes, Dave did always get his will and I was already ready for joining him on his ‘quick round’ tomorrow. So he could at least let me get some sleep, so I could get energy enough to even stand on my legs.

I started weak on a breath with my gaze on the opposite wall and with Dave behind my back. When I was halfway filling my lounges Dave had yanked me around so I was watching him. When I exhaled he’d pulled me into him so I couldn’t push away – a trap. He carefully put his lips to my bared shoulder and before I knew it I could feel the peaks of his teeth against my skin. I heard him chuckle before he kissed my skin, pulled away and lay his head on the pillow again so he could look my in the eye.

I shrugged when I looked down his face that smiled to me. First his eyes, which were red – nourished, but most of all his lips that turned up in that charming, little smile. There in the side of his mouth. Blood. I didn’t know if it was on purpose but I didn’t like it. It was not mine – he didn’t bite me, broken my skin and I could smell it. It was human blood from his previously victim. Male. Twenties. Blond. Blue eyes.

I put my lips against Dave’s and licked it off. He clearly didn’t have any idea of the blood because he kept kissing me back without chuckling just a little.

The taste overwhelmed me. I had existed in a month, without any nourishing at all, besides my love to him and Dave’s presence. That had kept my alive, but unfortunately also making me breaking my promise. The rush of energy had flown through my body but now it was only aggravation, disappointment and anger which circulated.

I pulled away from Dave who looked confused at me. “We’re going home tomorrow,” I held him at an arms length and moved further away.

“But – “ he started and looked a little hopeless.

“No, I’m not going. We are going home by dawn,” I cut him off and he sighed a little. I turned my back to him and waited for him to object has he used to. I was prepared to be lifted up and thrown out of bed, down on the floor. After that he would immediately be over me just when I’d hit the floor and hold me down. I would fight against as I used to but without any luck, meanwhile he would have a firm grip around my neck. He would slowly pull me up from the floor until my feet would let go. Meanwhile he would tell me that only his opinions and decisions counted. With my feet I would push over at the bed and I would hit the floor but immediately be on my feet again. Maybe I would not get to my feet this time – I would after all not have any energy. One single drop of blood wouldn’t last long. The fight would continue until he’d almost killed me like he used to. After that he would kiss me on the forehead and thank me for listing to him.

But nothing happened.

I stayed there on the bed and he probably did too, sighing. I doubted if he could sleep, but he kept being silent and he figured that it would be a night without any fighting. A rare night when it came to Dave. I used to enjoy it but on a cold turkey I wasn’t thinking about anything else than sleep. This night should just be over and done with.

“Can you hear that?” he whispered instead and I could feel and hear how he sat up in the bed.

“Hm?” I couldn’t hear anything at all. The only thing I heard in that instant was a careful calling from the dream and the sleep.

“No, of course not,” he sighed and was on his feet. At the front door to the hotel room, he carefully put his ear close to the wood and held his breath.

I sat up in the bed and tried to concentrate. What was it he could hear? I couldn’t by any chance catch a sound from the outside of the hotel room’s four walls, but I’d thirsted and hungered myself to death for a whole month now. I was nothing but a flaccid suicide rookie.

“Get up. Pack our stuff. One of them is coming,” he explained and I was already on my feet with shaky legs. “He’s outside the hotel’s front door now.”

I tottered to our suitcases that had just been opened. Dave hadn’t changed his close since we’d arrived, a couple of days ago, so his simple bag had lied on the floor the whole time, unopened. Mine was in return filled with comfortable clothes because I didn’t figure that I would go outside at all. Dave had dragged me out here so nobody would recognize us and on a random and big enough hotel where nobody would notice if someone suddenly disappeared. And never turn up again.

I pushed the clothes I could get into the bag and zipped it. I yanked the handle of the bag but my hands were snapped away and Dave zipped the bag open again. He quickly reached out for the rest of the clothes that I hadn’t put in the bag, pushed it down before he zipped the bag and threw it in my arms.

“No proofs! He’ll find us,” he snarled and was at the door. I looked around and sighed in relief because there wasn’t anything else in the room that we should carry with us. Just to carry my own bag was hard and I was happy that Dave already had swung his bag on his shoulder.

“It’s not fast enough, Jade,” he sighed and yanked me unto his back. Before I could blink, we were out of the door and on our way down the stairs, passing a couple of drunken humans that didn’t seem to have noticed us. Of course.

I blamed Dave and I realized how it would have looked if I had run on my own. I would have been as slow as a human.

He stopped after five stories and listened. He quickly put me down and I almost collapsed on the floor. “He’s coming. Act human,” he ordered and zipped his jersey open. I understood right along when he started to walk down the stairs – incredible slow as a human. I should have predicted it earlier, but I blamed my cold turkey as always. He – the hunter – came up the stairs and he would surely see if Dave and I came down the stairs. We knew as much about the hunters as they knew about us, so we knew that he would have been practiced in spotting us no matter how fast we’d run.

I followed Dave and concentrated on looking down in the ground just like him. The eyes were the most revealing. Dave’s was red as blood. Mine was almost white after losing more and more of the red color. Dave wasn’t very happy about what I was doing and he’d always spit out a charming line that revolved the sweetness about my pink eyes, when they had that color.

“Are you coming?” he asked and glanced up at me. I got down to him and he put his arm around me. “Okay, be quiet now. Let me doing the talking,” he whispered and I nodded carefully. Dave was one of those who mastered all of the powers our kind could have. He could run faster, was stronger and could look more detailed through humans, than most. That’s why I wasn’t confused when he knew what was about to happen. He knew that the hunter would ask us about something, that’s why I should be quiet. I would reveal us and get us killed, if this hunter was good enough to win against Dave, which I doubted.

We turned around the corner and slid down the next couple of stairs. Dave’s grip around my waist was tight but I thought of it as positive because I otherwise would fall to the ground and catch attention.

“He’s closing in on us,” he hissed and turned me a little more against him. But still I glanced up and saw a figure turn around the corner - continuing up the stairs. We would have been seen in an elevator and would have been asked thousands of questions if we’d walked through the lobby.

“Excuse me?” the hunter asked and got us to stop. I couldn’t figure out how Dave would communicate with him without looking at him and reveal us. Maybe he wouldn’t talk to him at all? Maybe he would jump on him immediately? I knew that if he had his mind on this I would be pushed/thrown away, probably backwards where a cold wall waited for me. I didn’t use to think about what I could hit if I was pushed or attacked but I was as fragile as a human now. For some reason that made me a little happier. I was already happy about just having the strength to even pull off a cold turkey.

“Can I talk to you for just a minute?” the hunter asked and I thought I remembered the voice. But I wasn’t sure. Did I know the hunter? Could it be … him?

“I’m sorry, but we’re actually in a hurry,” Dave mumbled and yanked me further down the stairs.

The hunter reached out with his hand. “No, please wait. I just wanted to ask, if you’d seen anything mysterious in this hotel?”

Dave shook his head. “No, we haven’t seen anything,” he quickly explained and started to walk again. I clung to Dave when the hunter put his hand on my shoulder. Something about his touch reminded me of something. I could however feel how Dave froze and I could almost see his face for my eyes – furious.

“I’m sorry, but have you seen anything, miss?” the hunter asked but I was silent. Dave had told me that I shouldn’t say anything so of course I was silent.

“No, she hasn’t seen anything,” Dave snarled but cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, but we have to go,” he explained and pulled me further away from the hunter whose hand fell from my shoulder. It was an enormous relief and I pushed myself closer to Dave and he tightened his grip around me. Was he scared too? Nervous maybe? This hunter could kill us. I realized how much Dave cared for me. If he would risk his life to safe mine … some memories automatically popped up of previous days where I still ate and drank and where we told each other every day that we loved one another. He especially. He would always hold me close, kiss me and tell me how much he loved me – that he would give up anything for me, meanwhile he chuckled over his theory that our names fitted perfectly together. Dave and Jade.

We continued down the stairs but I could hear and feel how the hunter was standing, still looking after us.

“Easy, easy …” Dave whispered when he also felt how I started to shake. I bit my lip while I tried to keep my body steady. But the hunter’s smell traveled through the hallway and I couldn’t help but recognize it. It was him. He’d haunted my dreams for so long that I was beginning to doubt if he existed at all. How long have it been since I’ve last saw him? A year? Two? I could clearly remember the first that I saw him – I’d lived with B.J., when we got discovered. He was one of the hunters that stood for the raid. He’d killed the most of my friends – including B.J. But anyway I’d hopelessly fallen in love with him. Dave had rescued me that day and we were the only survivors. Now it was just the two of us always on the road so we wouldn’t be found and killed. But what now? Had he found us? How did he know that we would be here? Had he followed us? For one, two years? Or had he just caught the scent of us?

“You two!” the hunter shouted when we were down a couple of stairs and could glimpse the exit on the ground floor. He came running at us and Dave quickly yanked me unto his back again and ran down the stairs.

“Stop!” he commanded but there was no chance that Dave would stop. He would continue until we would reach the door that lead out of the hallway and into the freedom. Dave had parked our car somewhere a couple of days ago. I figured that he could remember because I had no clue. I almost didn’t remember the day we’d arrived in details. The only thing I could remember about the hotel was the room I’d lived in the last couple of days.

The fresh air hit me like a wall and I had to clung to Dave who’d put me on the ground again.

“The car!?” Dave snarled and looked around. “It’s been stolen!” he clenched his fists and frustrated slipped a hand through his hair.

“What do we do?” I asked but felt how much strength it took to just talk. He shook his head and looked a little confused. I got annoyed – I didn’t like that Dave should do all the planning by himself. But I couldn’t help – I couldn’t even think straight. It was suddenly so unreal.

Dave turned to me but quickly fell to the ground. The shout had come out of the thin air and took my breath away. I looked back and the hunter fast lowered his weapon after the shout. He came running at us and he quickly looked down at Dave and tried to get him up. Though he already was on his feet again by himself.

“Motherfucker!” he swore and his hand was at the opposite arm. There was no blood, of course not, just black around the hole that went into his upper arm. He took a deep breath and looked fast at the hunter that came running and he swung me unto his back once again with one arm. I kept a firm grip around his neck and tried hopelessly to keep myself on his back.

Dave ran but not as fast as before. He suddenly gasped for his breath. “My arm,” he breathed and I came down on the ground again. We weren’t far away from the hunter who turned around the corner and came right at us. The weapon didn’t scare me – I felt more like running towards the hunter and ask him to spare Dave’s life. But I quickly understood that if I left Dave he wouldn’t make it.

He fell to the ground and I hastily kneeled down to him. I quickly gripped his arm and looked at the wound. I’d never seen such wound before. Around the hole that the bullet had made the skin was beginning to sear. It was clearly a new weapon that was specially made for extinction our kind.

“Dave?” I quietly called and his eyes began to turn. I quickly laid my hands on the sides of his face and tried to get him to look at me. “Dave!”

“Get up!” the hunter yelled and I froze. Dave couldn’t help me now – I knew that he was dying. And it was also killing me. But I stayed sitting by Dave and tried to get him back even though I knew that that would be absolutely impossible. I’d already lost him.

“Get up!” he repeated but I ignored him. Dave started to shake – more than I did. I carefully slipped my hand through his hair while I ate myself from the inside because I couldn’t cry. I could have cried anytime just not now. Why not? Dave would leave me not just with the hunter, but also with the rest of the world. I would be completely alone in those few second before the hunter would kill me, but that would be too long.

I started to realize how stupid I’ve been. Dave had always asked me totally serious, why I was killing myself. Every time I’d give him a lie and he’d trusted it and still loved me. I owned him so much and I couldn’t even cry for him. I would give him up for a hunter. A hunter who was killing me. And because of that mistake I’d killed Dave. It was my entire fault. I had not only killed myself but Dave too? He’d always been there for me even though some of those times were in big fights where I had to stay in bed in the end, for days. But I loved him anyway and even more because he loved me.

I desperately caressed his calm face when he turned quiet. His eyes was open and for the first time now looking at me. Red as blood with a little sparkle in the corner. He looked incredible peaceful and I couldn’t wait to join him when the hunter would kill me. Then I would be reunited with him after so long.

“Did you hear me? Get up!” the hunter snarled and I slowly got to my feet. He quickly grabbed my arm and yanked me up and I looked at him – for the first time. He was tall with dark hair and his eyes quivered in rage, while the eyebrows were pushed down to them. I felt a little joy by the sight of him but it was not enough to drown the grief.

“Are there more of you?” he hissed and looked around without moving a muscle. I slowly shook my head and looked at him again. I could clearly see how he glanced at my white eyes with the black edge around them.

“Why do you look like that?” he asked and I knew that it was not a question where care was included but only knowledge and research about our kind. If he knew why my eyes looked like this he would be much wiser of our kind. He and the rest of hunters had never thought about what would happen with us, if we’d starved and thirsted us to death. Would we be humans again? That had been my biggest wish. I’d only wished to stay with him. But now I only reached out to Dave and nobody else.

I hesitated a little. What was I supposed to say? If there were more of us then my information could be dangerous to them. But what were they to me? They’d never helped us when our clan was eradicated, even though B.J. had many times told me about how out clan had helped others. But that had been a long time ago – before I’d joined them. So why would they help me and another of our kind who could without any doubt kill them all with his powers?

“I haven’t drunk or eaten in a month,” I explained and his eyebrows moved a little.

“Why not?” he asked but remembered his role as the attacking one. “… Mite,” he added and snarled at me. But I ignored it. I’d really fallen for a human. Such a idiotic, weak, fragrant human. If I had the strength I could by no doubt put my teeth in him. Dave had after all told me how I was as good as him, but I didn’t believe him. But I could accept that I was better than others and we would be the most terrifying of our kind across the country. But our love for each other was a weak spot – if one of us died the other one couldn’t live. I stood in exactly that situation and I couldn’t wait for the hunter to kill me. Why was he asking all those questions? Why couldn’t he just get it over and done with?

“I didn’t wish to be like this,” I said and he chuckled.

“You’re lying,” he then hissed and he lightly shook my head. “Why would you kill yourself?”

I felt that I’d just answered the question. But he should see two answers. I’d told him that I didn’t wanted to be like this anymore. And he’d just killed Dave. That gave me a bigger reason to die.

“You’ve just killed my mate,” I explained and waited to see his reaction. We didn’t usually use that expression but I wanted to see his reaction. A little curious move before I should die. There couldn’t be anything wrong with that?

He wrinkled his nose in despair. “But not a month ago?” he asked and I could see that he was about to lose control. That he couldn’t – then he wouldn’t be able to kill me. I was after all what I’ve been for years. I knew that if he didn’t have control and willpower then he couldn’t do it. I would automatically avoid – my instincts would keep me alive.

I decided to speak clean. I was after all going away from here. “I was trying to be human by fasting,” I could feel how he was scared of my glance. I clearly stared too much at him. “I’d falling in love with a human,” I spitted out and it hit him like a wave. He stood petrified for a moment while it looked like he was going to throw up. I didn’t mind – if I had something in my stomach then I would do it too.

“Please, kill me,” I looked at him and his eyes flickered a little. “Please,” I added again and nodded shortly to be polite.

The weapon shook in his hand. “What’s your name?” he asked and I wrinkled my eyebrows.

“Jade,” I shrugged.

“And him?” he quickly look at Dave and as quickly look at me again – for a human at least. For one of our kind that was the slowest move he’d just pulled off. He would be easy to kill.

“Dave” I said and shook my head. No, I couldn’t kill him. He should kill me. ‘Killing each other’ was beginning to sound weird in my head – childish in a way because in this reality there was no such thing as killing each other. I would only kill him. He’d killed Dave – my love to one of our kind, I would kill him – my love to a human but then who was going to kill me? I couldn’t by any chance shoot myself with that weapon. Or could I? I'd prefer to have another one to do it.

“Were you members of that clan in San Francisco?” he asked and I quietly nodded. What difference would it make if he knew it or didn’t? That clan was instinct, deleted, not existing. I was the only one left from that clan – why wouldn’t he kill me to finish his job?

“Did you know a blond girl?” he asked kind of doubting and shrugged.

“There were a lot of blond girls. Nina, Lydie, Paula, Marla, uhm … Tracy?” I shrugged like he had. Why was that even important?

He shook his head. “No, no … Wasn’t there a … a Grace?” his hands still shook and I thought that I’d looked enough at the end of the weapon.

“Grace? No … no,” I shook my head and sighed. Why so many questions?

“Are you sure? I knew that she was a member of that clan! A couple of years ago …” he stopped and looked distrustful at me. Humans were so confused – mixed. At first they would be controlling, firm, then confused, scared, nervous … I could be scared, nervous or firm but it didn’t shift like it did with humans. It was so confusing and uncomfortable to look at. So much was happening in their heads. So much …

I couldn’t remember anything from my human life. Only few things that wasn’t important – I didn’t need them. The one that I now know was short, unnecessary, past lives was completely indifferent.

“You can tell me. You’re going to kill me after all after wards? Why not get as much information about our kind as you can before you kill me?” I shrugged and he looked around a little confused. So confused. So nervous. Just because I’d opened my mouth and said a few sentences. So frustrated. The blood pumped around in him and I kept my distance.

“A couple of years ago,” he started but still had the weapon pointed at me. “A couple of years ago she became one of you,” he wrinkled his eyebrows and I took it as a clear insult, especially the tone made me sure.

“Our clan?” I asked and he nodded a little surprised because I’d almost interrupted him.

“Yes and I tried to find her, when we …” he sniffed and shrugged again. “When we searched the house. But I didn’t find her. I’ve searched for her for almost a year but …” he got silent and the eyebrows slipped now in his forehead when he met my glance again. “Are you sure that you didn’t knew her? Grace? Blond? Dark eyes,” he explained and I saw the hopeful sparkle in his eyes. Nothing came to me. That had been a lot blonde's and dark eyed ones in the clan, but no Grace.

I looked at him and bit my lip. I could clearly see how the memories of his Grace went through his head and the blood pumped. In a mixture of nervousness and loving memories his heart began to beat faster and the blood in his veins smelled so good that it hurt.

“No,” I shortly answered. “Pull the trigger,” I nodded at the weapon and he swallowed.

“Yes … yes,” he stammered and the sweat started to drip down his temple. The artery in his neck pounded. He carefully moved his feet on the asphalt and tightened his grip around the weapon.

I closed my eyes – for him. Could he do it? Would I trust him? What if he disappeared? Then what would I do? Kill myself? If I continued this lifestyle then it could be a possibility. But that would take long. Even though I knew that I didn’t have long it was too long.

I could clearly hear him breathe fast – nervous. He had no problem with killing Dave, so why with me? What was so different with me?

“Now,” I whispered and he moved a little on his place. “Now!” I ordered and was already on my way to another place in my head. I would for anything not see this place again – I just wanted to go to another. Every other place.

He held his breath and heard how he pulled the trigger before he did it. The small click and the sudden movement on the asphalt echoed, before I carefully opened my eyes and saw the bullet come flying. Behind it was his scared face that I’d wished was different. Calm would have been the best. Because I wasn’t someone to be scared of. Calm was not right but something like that.

I looked forward to meet Dave again. He was after all the one I belonged to.

Some humans looses their memory when they join our kind – some, their whole identity. Others their looks or feelings. Most of them just their way of living and needs. After their change, it’s the life that comes that counts. A life filled with murder, death, unity, loneliness, secrecy, grief, happiness and love.