Glitter In The Blood As It Hits The Ground

Since the day I was found in Greenvale woods I had regained a lot of my memories regarding my parents and little sister, Lucy. Looking at old family photos and talking with my family brought a lot of forgotten memories to the surface, yet I still could not remember what happened on that stormy winter’s night in Greenvale. It was so frustrating; sometimes I just wanted to tear my hair out. Dr. Facinelli kept telling me to be patient, that when I was ready the memories would reveal themselves but I just hated waiting!

I lay on my back, hoping that sleep would reclaim me once more, but I had no such luck. I sighed and turned on my side to look at the alarm clock on my bedside locker. The bright red digits declared it to be 6am. I stretched and decided to get up and have some breakfast.

The Lewis’ family kitchen was an over the top affair. It was the size of two average living rooms put together with a huge marble island running down the centre. The cupboards were always stocked with the finest foods, as my parents like to show off their wealth through any means possible, and of course we never prepared out own meals; that was attended to by one of the staff. My family had two employees; we had a butler, Murray; and a maid, Alice and even on mornings such as this when I rose early there was always someone to make me breakfast. Today it happened to be Alice.

As I sat on a stool at the magnificent island, picking at a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon I began thinking, as I often did on mornings like this, about my life. I know I couldn’t recall much of my life from before my attack but still, it was hard to believe that I had ever fit into this lifestyle. The parties thrown by wealthy friends, the constant being waited on, the unnecessary designer clothes and electronic gadgets; it all seemed too much. I couldn’t deny that it was nice but it never like real life to me.

After playing with my food for about half an hour I gave up on trying to stomach anymore of it.

“Are you finished Miss?” Alice asked noticing me push the plate away.

I nodded silently and she took away my half eaten meal. I watched her for a few moments as she emptied the uneaten food, which I know felt incredibly guilty for not eating, into our dog, Bobo’s, bowl and began washing the dishes. I wondered if she ever felt like I did.

“How old are you Alice?” I asked her suddenly.

She turned to look at me, her light brown hair falling into her face, “I’m twenty three Miss. Why do you ask?”

I smiled, “Just wondering. Have you ever felt like. . . Like you just don’t belong?”

She seemed to take a minute to think this before shaking her head slowly, “No Miss, I don’t think I ever have.”

I sighed and pushed my stool away from the counter as I stood up. I mumbled a thank you to Alice for the breakfast and then left the room to go upstairs and get dressed.

I observed my reflection in my bathroom mirror after my shower pondering what way to do my hair and make up. I pulled my towel tighter around myself before grabbing my hairbrush, pulling it through my recently dyed purple hair. The colour was vibrant against the pale skin of my face and I loved it so much more than my natural blonde.
I brushed until there were no more knots and then applied some mousse, scrunching my hair so as to make it curly. I smiled when it was done, it looked good.

Now for my make up. I applied my usual minimal amount of foundation and blush before starting my eye make up. I love using eyeliners and shadows and I usually went a bit over the top with them.
I grabbed a purple eyeliner from the glass shelf that housed all my eye make up and applied a line of it across my closed lids. Next I grabbed a silver eye shadow and applied it lightly onto my lids and finished off the look with a quick coat of black kohl eyeliner. I admired my reflection in the mirror, I looked nice.

I left my ensuite bathroom and entered my bedroom to get dressed. It picked an outfit that seemed simple in comparison to my make up. I wore a pair of faded blue jeans, a purple t-shirt with the words: ‘I’m a vampire, don’t make me bit you” and a black cardigan. I was now ready to face the day.

I grabbed my phone and purse, stuffing them into the black handbag I picked up on my way out of my bedroom stopping only to check the time on my alarm clock-10am. Not too early to head into town then.

I skipped down the grand staircase and into the hall feeling quite happy. I was just opening the hall door when Murray’s voice stopped me.

“Heading into town Miss?”

I turned to see the middle aged man with his greying black hair watching me, a smirk tugging at his features. He knew I like to sneak off early on Saturdays so as to avoid unnecessary time with my family.

“Yes I am Murray. Got a problem?” I smiled knowing he wouldn’t care.

“Well I have to run to the town to run some errands for your father and I was just wondering if you would like me to bring you with me?” He offered politely, his Irish lilt coming through with the way he spoke.

I nodded, “Yeah would Murray. Thank you.”

“Just doing my job Miss,” He indicated for me to exit the house and get into the black Mercedes that I could now see parked outside.

Murray strode ahead of me to open the back door where my parents would usually sit but I shook my head at him and got into the front. He just smiled, his blue eyes twinkling as he got into the drivers seat beside me.

The fifteen minute drive into Belleville town centre passed comfortably with Murray as company. As we neared the library in the middle of the main street I asked him to drop me off. He obliged, of course, and within minutes I was wandering the town with no specific destination in mind.

After some time I came across a narrow side street that I had never been down before; I liked to explore unknown parts of the town and so I wandered down it taking in my surroundings. I passed a couple of shops that held no interest to me, a Chinese take away that looked like it had seen better days, a dumpster that was a breeding ground for rats, and finally at the end of the small side street there was a small black and red shop with the name Tower Records on it in silver lettering. I gazed into the music shop for a moment or two before deciding on an impulse to go in.

As I slowly pushed the door open a bell tinkled above my head and I jumped, startled. A voice chuckled at my reaction and I looked up to see the most gorgeous boy staring at me from behind the counter. He was sitting on a high stool with his long legs stretched out on the counter just beside the register; he had long, black, shaggy hair and beautiful hazel eyes.

I could tell by the smirk forming on his face that he knew I was staring and I quickly looked away, blushing. To avoid his stares I made my way down one of the aisles and began flicking aimlessly through C.D.s hoping that something would catch my eye. I know it sounds stupid but I actually had no clue what my favourite band was. When I lost my memory I lost all recollection of the music I listened to, and my CD collection had been lost in the move. Since then I had tried to find something to listen to but nothing on the radio had ever appealed me.

I was just about to give up on my search when a title caught my eye, The Beatles- Let It Be. Suddenly a I was caught up in a memory

We’re driving along an empty road with The Beatles playing loudly through the car’s stereo system. James is behind the wheel, his short bright blue hair glowing in the summer sunlight and his voice is powerful as he sings along with the CD I put in the car earlier in the day. I watch him as his muscular arms easily drive the care along the winding road. I sigh, God how I love that boy.

I shook my head, clearing it of the memory but not the questions it raised. Who was James? Why were we driving along the road together? And why the hell did I think I loved him?

I ignored these thoughts for now, deciding to leave them at the back of my mind until I visited Dr. Facinelli on Wednesday, and headed for the register that the cute boy was sitting behind, The Beatles' album in my grasp.

He smiled at me as I approached and I noticed how that store’s lighting made his hazel eyes dance.
I handed him the CD and his grin grew at the title, “You like The Beatles huh?”

I shrugged and answered him honestly, “I don’t know.”

He laughed, throwing his head of messy, black hair back. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I have amnesia,” I told him looking down at the ground, my face going red. I always felt ashamed telling people about my amnesia.

The boy went quiet for a moment and I immediately started panicking.

He’s probably regretting he ever made that funny comment. He thinks I’m a freak. He’s just going to sell me the CD and never want to talk to me again. I should never have told him.

But then he spoke, silencing the crazy voices in my head.

“Wow, I’ve never known anyone with amnesia before.”

I looked at him shyly, “Well it’s not exactly common, dumb ass.”

He smiled again, “I’m Gerard by the way. Gerard Way.”

I took the hand he extended across the counter and shook it.

“I’m Emma Lewis,” I told him, slightly startled at his grip on my hand, he didn’t look that strong.

He cocked his head to the side in an adorable manner, “I’ve seen around school haven’t I? You’re in a few of my classes.”

I shrugged, I didn’t really pay attention to people school. But then I looked at Gerard again I realised I did recognise him; he was one of the ‘rockers’ who sat at the back of class and annoyed the teachers with smart remarks.

“Oh wait, I do remember you, we have English together, right?” I asked unsure.

He nodded, a smile on his perfect features, “Yeah and a few others I think.”

“Oh cool,” I replied lamely. I didn’t converse much with people my own age and I was now struggling to keep this conversation alive.

“So. . . Uhm. . . Do you wanna hang out after I finish work? We can listen to the C.D. and find out if you do like The Beatles,” He smiled and those beautiful eyes sparkled.

Gerard seemed nice, and there was no denying that he was attractive, but I knew I would have to decline the offer, hanging out with someone meant talking to them and learning to trust them. I just couldn’t do that.

“Uh. . . Sorry Gerard but I can’t,” I mumbled, looking away from those mesmerising eyes that I knew I could too easily get lost in.

“Oh okay,” He sounded disappointed and my head came back up as a reflex to check that he was okay. His smile had faded and he was looking down, turning the CD case over and over in his hands; I suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll see you in school on Monday,” I told him to make up for disappointing, he looked so sad.

As I thought that he looked up again and his face had that grin on it once more, “Cool, we can have lunch together or something, yeah?”

I forced a smiled and nodded in reply making note in my head to come up with some excuse not to be around for lunch on Monday.

“Awesome.” He scanned in the album and I paid for it before saying my goodbyes and leaving the store.

I, once again, began walking aimlessly around the town but now, instead of my mind being its usual blank, I was constantly thinking about Gerard Way. I felt bad for declining his offer to hang out but I was too afraid to trust him; Dr. Facinelli said he thought it might be related to my attack but we couldn’t be sure unless I remembered.
It was hurting my relationship with my family too, but I just couldn’t let myself get close to people anymore. And Gerard would be no exception.
He’s probably forgotten all about you already anyway.
I sighed and took out my phone and rang Murray to ask him to pick me up.