Glitter In The Blood As It Hits The Ground

For the first time since I had started attending Belleville High I sat in the back of a classroom. I sat with the troublemakers, the rockers, the outcasts.
People stared at as I was dragged down past the other desks; their eyebrows raised and lips curled.

They think I’m a loser now too, they’ll laugh at me and push me into lockers because of the stupid label.

Despite knowing that these things would happen to me due to my new social status I found that I didn’t care. It didn’t bother me because, as I quickly realised after sitting with Gerard’s friends for only five minutes, I genuinely liked them.

We sat in a line that filled the whole row of two-seater desks at the back of the room. I was seated beside Gerard- which I was glad of because, although I liked his friends- I didn’t really know them yet. At the next desk over sat the boy with the afro, Ray and his blonde boyfriend, Bob. The last desk sat two boys whom Gerard introduced as Bert and Jeph, they seemed nice enough but they were a bit vulgar for my tastes.

“So. . .” Ray turned to me before class started. “I hope you don’t find me rude or anything but.. . Uhm. . . Why are you amnesiac?”

I looked away from them all, my eyes pricking with unwanted tears.

You knew they’d ask at some point. They were hardly going to just accept you into their group without knowing what’s wrong with you.

I was wondering how to tell my new friends the story behind my memory loss when our teacher, Mr. Asher, entered the room saving me from my predicament.

He started talking about the homework he had assigned us on Friday and writing notes about it on the whiteboard; soon everyone had forgotten what Ray had asked me. Well, almost everyone.

I was busy taking notes down off the whiteboard when a piece of folded up paper landed on my open notebook.
I turned to look at Gerard who was smiling and gesturing for me to open the paper.
I sighed to myself and complied, opening the paper as quietly as possible in the almost silent class room.
For a moment I just stared at the note Gerard had written me. The margin was full of scribbled doodles and his writing was messy but legible.
I could feel him getting impatient beside me so I decided to read whatever he had written that he apparently couldn’t just whisper to me.

“Hello there my new friend =),
How is life on the other side of this fine desk? I hope it is good though if it is not up to your high standards I would be glad to trade places with you.
Ha-ha. . . That was my lame attempt at small talk before I cut straight to the chase. Pathetic I know.
You looked uncomfortable when Ray asked about your amnesia and I was wondering what the story behind your amnesia was and if I could help you in any way. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, like I’ll totally understand, but I know that it sometimes helps to talk about these things.
Yours sincerely,
Gee Way, you friendly English class neighbour.
Xx

I smiled at parts of the little letter, because it has to be said, it was quite funny. I looked at the boy himself out of the corner of my eye and I saw that he was watching me intently, waiting for an answer. With a small, almost unnoticeable sigh I turned the page over to the back and began writing a reply to my ‘friendly English class neighbour’ in pink ink.

Dear Mr. Way,
I must say, I find life on this side of the desk to be quite exquisite though there is a slight draft from the window beside me. But despite this minor inconvenience I doubt you will be asking you to trade seating arrangements with me at any point in the foreseeable future.
I must agree with you sir, your attempt at small talk was not the best, but amusing nonetheless.
I appreciate your concern Gerard (and I’m being serious now) but I don’t know how to tell anyone about what happened, mainly because I don’t really remember it myself. But I have a feeling I’m going to have you and your friends in my life for quite a while so in time I will probably be able to talk about it. And rest assured, you will be the first person I tell.
Yours sincerely,
Emma Lewis, your snooty English class neighbour.

I handed him the note and watched his reaction. He smiled as he read my snobby sounding opening paragraph, became serious as he read about my amnesia only to smile again as he read how I signed off.

He dropped the paper to the desk and turned to face me. He opened his plump lips to say something but was interrupted by the booming voice of Mr. Asher.

“Got something to share with us there Mr. Way?” he pointed at the piece of paper lying on the desk.

Gerard shook his head, “No sir, it’s just my notes.”

Our middle aged teacher eyed him suspiciously, “Really? Let me see then?”

He began walking down the aisle towards mine and Gerard’s desk. I began panicking; I didn't want Mr. Asher to see the note. The pudgy, balding man was known to read out notes that had been passed between students. I didn’t want him to tell the entire class that I have amnesia; they already saw me as a freak without that to their list.

As Mr. Asher got closer and closer my heart started racing. What was he going to do?
He reached our desk and held out his hand for Gerard to give him the paper. I saw my new friend lift up his hand with the note in his grasp and thinking he was going to give it to our teacher I mentally screamed profanities.
But then, Gerard did something I never would have expected, instead of handing to paper to Mr. Asher he put it on his mouth, chewed for a moment or two and then swallowed it.
Mr. Asher just stared, his watery blue eyes wide open in disbelief.

Gerard just grinned cheekily in response, “Sorry sir. I was a bit peckish and that paper was just so tempting.”

The English teacher’s disbelief quickly turned to anger.

“You’re lucky I can’t stay back after school this afternoon Way,” He all but growled. “Because otherwise you’d have a two hour detention. Consider yourself lucky.”

Gerard just smirked and the glaring Mr. Asher made his way back to the front of the room to teach.

Once he was engrossed in the analysis of some Robert Frost poem Gerard turned to me.

“Oops,” He chuckled quietly. “That was a close one.”

I nodded, he was right it had been close.

His eyes suddenly filled with worry as he watched me, “You okay doll?”

I nodded again, this time forcing a smile onto my face. “I’m fine.”

He watched me for another minute or two before smiling and nodding then turned to face the white board at the front of the room.

We sat in this comfortable silence until the bell rang signalling lunch time.
I gathered my books and pens, placed them neatly into my black and purple checked backpack and then had to wait for Gerard and his friends to be ready.

A couple of minutes later all six of us were gathered in a group outside the classroom door.

“Alright man, I’ll catch up with you later,” Bert said to Gerard pulling him into a one armed hug.

“See you then,” Gerard smiled, pulling back and then knuckle pounding Jeph.

Bert turned to me smiling. His long, dark hair was scraggly and greasy, drawing attention away from his beautiful baby blue eyes.

“It was nice to meet you babe,” His smile turned into a smirk. “See you around sometime.”

He pulled me into a friendly hug. His faded red t-shirt smelled of cigarettes, alcohol and pot.

It shocked me, I hadn’t known the boy for very long but I would never have thought he drank or smoke. Strange.

As he held me to his chest my nose wrinkled in disgust at the smell. He pulled back and waved once more before he and the dark haired Jeph wandered down the hall to wherever they had plans for lunch period.

“Why do you still hang out with the two of them Gee?” Ray asked once they were out of earshot. “They’re not good for you.”

“I know Ray, but I’ve known them along with Quinn and Dan for years.” He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously feeling uncomfortable having this conversation. “They used to be my best friends.”

“For fuck sake, open your eyes Gerard! They’re a bunch of wasters! Even now they’re hanging around the back of the school getting high instead of hanging out with you- someone who was once their best friend!” Ray’s afro practically sparked with the anger he was emitting.

Gerard glared at his friend before throwing his hands up in exasperation, “Whatever the fuck you say Ray.”

And with that he turned and walked away from the three of us, not once looking back.

Ray watched his retreating figure for a moment before sighing angrily and storming off in the opposite direction.

“And then there were two,” I mumbled feeling awkward.

I saw Bob smile, his pretty pale blue eyes lighting up in amusement.

“You’re not gonna get all angry and storm off on me too, are you?” I asked half teasing, half serious.

The quiet blonde shook his head still grinning.

“Wanna walk with me to the cafeteria?” I offered nicely, I wasn’t sure if he liked me or not so I was trying to make a good impression.

He nodded and whispered so quietly I wasn’t sure he had actually said anything at all, “Sure.”

He shyly reached out and took my hand in his and together we began walking towards the cafeteria.

When we arrived Bob led me straight to a table full of people I now recognised.

“New best friend!” Frankie squealed running towards me so fast he was just a black and red blur.

“Uhm. . . Hi?” I said uncertainly as he wrapped his arms affectionately around my waist, holding me in a tight hug.

“Come sit beside me!” He exclaimed and dragged me by the hand to the table where he made sit in the empty seat to his left.

Once I was seated comfortably I observed everyone at the incredibly noisy table.
Frank was sitting beside me eating a bag of skittles and drinking a can of Red Bull, no wonder he was always so hyper. Someone should be monitoring his intake of sugar.
Maria was sitting to Frank’s right, her eyes solely on Joel, her fingers laced with his on the tabletop as he sat opposite her. Her bright brown orbs were full of adoration for her boyfriend as she talked to him animatedly.
I heard a noise to my left and saw that Bob had taken the seat there. I smiled at him and he returned it timidly.

Out of all the people Gerard has introduced me to, I think Bob is the one most like me. He’s been hurt like me, I’m sure of it.
I pulled my thoughts away from Bob and back to the present.

I now noticed that Mikey had his head buried in a comic and was sitting beside Joel and that Gerard was sitting beside his brother. He still looked angry but now it looked as if as if he was angry at himself instead of Ray.

“Gerard?” I asked softly reaching over the table to grip his hand.

He looked up, his eyes evident with self-loathing, “What?”

I ignored his harsh tone deciding that he was going through a rough time and I‘d ignore it, “Maybe you should try apologise to Ray? I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

He nodded in agreement, “Yeah I should. Do you know where he is?”

I was about to reply no when Bob tugged at my sleeve and whispered quietly in my ear, “He’s at the table by the door.”

I looked over to where Bob had said and sure enough, there was Ray, eating lunch by himself.

“He’s over by the door,” I told Gerard nodding towards Ray’s table. “Eating lunch by himself.”

Gerard looked over and once he saw his friend he rose from the table, telling us that he’d be back in a minute. I saw him approach his best friend and after a few minutes of talking they hugged and started heading back to the table the rest of us were sitting at.

“Hey guys,” the curly haired boy greeted us all with a smile as he sat down beside Gerard.

Everyone mumbled responses and I just smiled at him before zoning out from the conversations around me that couldn’t hold my interest.

“So Emma, you interested?” A voice brought me out of my daydream.

I looked to Mikey, the owner of the voice, with a puzzled face, “Interested in what?”

Frankie chuckled, “You haven’t listened to a word we’ve said have you?”

My cheeks reddened, “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I guess I just spaced for a bit.”

Gerard rolled his eyes while laughing across the table from me.

“We were talking about our band,” He explained.

My eyes widened, “You guys are in a band?”

Frankie nodded beside me, “Yup. Me, Gee, Ray, Bob and Mikey are all in a band called My Chemical Romance.”

I nodded and began wondering what instruments they all played. Frank looked like he could be a singer; from what I knew of Bob he liked to stay out of the spotlight, so he would be either the bassist or the drummer; Ray gave off the aura of being a wicked guitarist and Mikey, much like Bob, seemed shy and could be either the bassist or the drummer. So what was Gerard then?

I looked to him confused, “Uhm. . . What do you play?”

He shook his head, “I don’t play anything.”

My brow furrowed in confusion.

A smirk formed on his face, “I’m the singer, Sugar.”

I cocked my head to the side, observing him. Yeah, I could see him as a front man.

“Oh okay,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “And what does everyone else play?”

“I’m bassist,” Mikey spoke up, confirming my one of my guesses.

So then Bob must be the drummer.

“Ray’s lead guitar and Bob is on drums,” Gerard said, and I nodded.

I was right about them too.

“Oh and I’m rhythm guitar,” Frankie supplied, a huge grin on his face.

“I actually thought you might have been the singer,” I smiled awkwardly at him.

He laughed, “Really? Why?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I just though you looked like a front man.”

Gerard pouted in a joking way, “And I don’t look like one?”

I shook my head, “Of course you do.”

He grinned, “Thanks.”

After that we all fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments until Maria spoke up.

“So anyway, as we were going to ask before, do you want to come to band practice on Wednesday after school?”

I bit my lip nervously, “Uhm. . . I can’t go. Sorry.”

I saw Gerard and Frankie’s faces fall.

“Awh. . . Why not?” My ‘new best friend’ asked.

I have. . . Uh. . . Plans,” I mumbled looking down at the tabletop.

I didn’t feel comfortable telling them about my therapy yet.

“You should come next week then,” Maria’s quiet boyfriend, Joel, suddenly piped up.

“Yeah,” Frankie agreed grinning. “It’ll be fun.”

I looked around the table and saw seven happy faces watching me so I forced a smile back.

“Yeah sure, I’ll be there next week guys.”

I knew I’d have to make an excuse not to go next week but I’d deal with that closer to the time, at the moment I just couldn’t disappoint these people who, at least acted as if they really wanted me to be there.

The bell suddenly rang announcing the end of lunchtime. Everyone rose to leave and Maria turned to me.

“C’mon girly, we have History together.”

I waved goodbye to the rest of the group and followed to dark haired, petite girl out of the cafeteria.