Glitter In The Blood As It Hits The Ground

“So where were you yesterday?” Were Gerard’s first words to me on Thursday morning as we walked together through the front doors.

I shrugged nervously, “Uhm. . . Nowhere.”

He looked at me with one eyebrow raised, “Really?”

I looked away from his inquisitive hazel eyes, “Really.”

I could feel his eyes still one me but after a lengthy silence he just sighed, “Okay.”

We just walked in silence until we reached my locker. I had started getting my books out of my locker before he spoke again.

“Look I know we haven’t been friends for very long but you know you can tell me anything right?”

I stayed silent, unable to answer him.
Why don’t you just try and trust him? You can’t be friends with him otherwise.

I was stuck between two choices and didn’t know which one to go with. I could tell Gerard everything that had happened to me in the past, or I could keep my silence and just continue to lie to him and the rest of my new friends.

But before I could make up my mind whether to tell him or not he suddenly spoke.
“Hey, what’s that?” I followed the direction in which his finger was pointing.

There was a folded up piece of pale blue paper with my name written in elegant script on it. I picked it up and held it lightly in my hands for a moment or two.

“Who’s it from?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

I unfolded the paper and inside it was written in the same neat black script as my name as the outside.

My love,
It has been too long since we have spoken. I don’t think you can even remember who I am so let me refresh your memory. You’re the one girl I have always wanted. You’re the girl I nearly had one night all those months ago, but then you go away. For the last few months I have watched you from afar waiting for my chance to speak to you again. Then, the other day you spoke to me again. Oh, how I have longed to have you speak to me once more.
I love you Emma Lewis, I have since I first saw you and one day you will be mine and mine alone. I came close before but you got away, but this time you will not. I will have you for my own.
Your one true love.
XXxx

I stared at the writing in confusion. Who could it be from? And more importantly, what were they talking about?
“Emma, you okay?” Gerard’s gently voice brought me back to reality.

I looked up at him and he was watching me with soft hazel eyes. His hands were extended as if to embrace me but I took an instinctive step back. I didn’t want him near me.

“Em?” He called me again and this time I just ignored him.

The letter in my hand trembled in my hand as it dawned on me who the letter was from. The person who had sent me letters like this before. The person who had attacked me in Greenvale forest over a year ago. The man who had stolen my virginity and made me afraid to even leave my house before we moved away.

“Emma?!” Gerard all but screamed at me this time and I looked up into his eyes that now looked as if they were filled with fear. “What’s wrong Em?”

I looked back down at the piece of pale blue paper before whispering to him, “It’s from him.”

He all but ripped the letter from my hands and I watched his face as his eyes furiously scanned the scarring words written so beautifully on the paper.

“What did you mean ‘it’s from him’?” He asked as he folded the letter and handed it back to me.

I sighed. I didn’t really have much of a choice now; I had to tell him what had happened.

“Uhm, can we go somewhere quiet to talk about this? I don’t feel comfortable talking here.” I bit my lip nervously and scanned the corridor around me, feeling on edge.

If he could leave me a note in my locker he could be here right now.

Gerard nodded and took my hand leading me back outside the school and to his car, an old battered black Honda that smelled of cigarette smoke and lemon. I settled myself into the passenger seat and tried to calm my breathing as Gerard drove carefully through the streets of Belleville.

Eventually we reached a Starbucks and Gerard parked the car at the other end of the car park before cutting the engine.

“You okay Em?” He asked me yet again.

I managed a nod and indicated to him that we should go into the coffee shop.

Next thing I knew we were sitting at a small table in the corner of the shop with two mochas in front of us.
“So,” Gerard broke the silence we had been sitting in. “What do you need to tell me?”

I sighed heavily and began playing with napkin on the table in front of me, “I don’t know where to begin if I’m honest.”

“How about the beginning?” He smiled playfully and I giggled despite the horrible story I was going to tell him.

“Well, last year, when I still lived in Greenvale I began getting letters much like the one that I received today.”

Gerard’s eyes widened in shock but he didn’t speak and for that I was grateful. It was hard enough to tell him my story without him interrupting with questions.

“Soon, I was getting presents too. Stuff like teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. At first I though it was a secret admirer but after a while the letters turned nasty and the presents became things like dead rats and spiders. Then one night I was attacked on my way home from a friend’s house. He chased me then beat and raped me. I woke up in a hospital with no recollection of any of it.”

My shoulders shuddered and the tears I had been fighting back since I had realised who the letter was from. They streamed down my face and my breathing hiccupped as I tried to stop the sobbing.
Instantly Gerard was by my side. He knelt down by my chair and held me close to him, whispering how everything would be okay. He was wrong, it wouldn’t be okay, but it was nice to pretend. . . at least for now.