So Easy To Love

By the time the set was over it seemed as if everyone knew that Oliver had done something to make me cry and that meant everyone was acting totally and completely out of character. Instead of going back onto the bus and cracking a few beers open after the show, they boys all just stole awkward glances at Oliver as he pretended not to notice. I knew Kean and Ian meant no harm by letting everyone know what was going on. Like Kean had said, I didn't cry very often so when I did it meant something was seriously wrong. But the damage had been done and I was just waiting for everything to self destruct. If I knew one thing, it was that every member of Bring Me the Horizon, Oliver in particular, had a horrible temper.

I had waited a while after the set was over to walk back to the bus, not really looking forward to dealing with the problems that were in store for me. My head was hanging low when Josh strolled over and threw his arm over my shoulders carelessly. When I barely reacted to him he must've sensed something was wrong because he just sort of stopped walking and forced me to turn and look at him.

"I heard somefhing was going on wiff you and Oli, but I didn't think it was true," he said. I simply shrugged, not ready for this all to begin. Honestly, I was blowing things out of proportion. Girls everywhere got called bitches everyday and I'm sure most of them didn't cry about it. And it wasn't even that bad. I had seen Oliver angry before and he just seemed a little upset with me. It was my entire fault.

"It's nothing," I sighed deeply. I threw my deep red hair into a messy bun on the top of my head and then tugged down my bangs. I looked up at Josh and he didn't seem to be buying anything I said.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying! We got into a little disagreement and I overreacted. That's all," I stated, my agitation getting the best of me. Josh seemed to be a bit taken aback by the tone of my voice and I guess I couldn't blame him. I never acted like this; I guess it was a sight to see.

"That's not what you're makin' it seem like," he informed me.

"What am I making it seem like then?!" I yelled. "God, are all you Brits this fucking dense?"

He cracked a smile at my last comment and shook his head lightly, stuffing his hands into the back pockets of his cut off jeans. He scrunched his face up, making him look ever so adorable, and gave me a boyish grin. I tried extremely hard to keep my own smile off of my face but it was next to impossible as I continued to glare at him. When I finally let a smile cross my lips he gave me a small nudge on the arm and I just pouted.

"How bad is it going to be?" He asked seriously. I pushed my lips to the side and slowly rocked my head back and forth, thinking about the shit storm I would eventually have to walk into.

"It depends."

"On?"

"How angry everyone gets, how much they've had to drink, whether or not they find out what really happened. A lot of things," I shrugged simply. This got Josh to raise an eyebrow.

"And what do you fhink's gonna happen?"

"I honestly don't know Josh. If you're really that curious, I guess you could come and see for yourself," I offered.

I wish my life had a remote control. Because by the time I realized what a horrible idea asking Josh to come along was, I could have hit rewind and just never asked him in the first place. Instead though Josh agreed and we both walked back to the bus, unaware of what exactly was going to happen once we stepped inside. I knew better than to think this was all just going to be swept under the rug, but I never thought things would be as horrible as they were. As soon as I walked up the small flight of stairs to the bus, I had to dodge a full bottle of beer that had been hurled past me, just barely missing my head.

"Yer a piece of shit!" Tom yelled angrily. My eyes went wide when I saw the scene in front of me. Oliver's cheek was swollen, Tom's mouth was bleeding, and they were being held back by Jona and Matt respectively. I guessed it must've been Tom who threw the bottle of beer because he was the one who was facing the front of the bus, while Oliver desperately tried to release himself from Jona's grasp. I could tell by their slurred speech they were both wasted and as I stood there with wide eyes I realized this was much worse than everything I had thought of on the walk over.

"Aye, Blair!" Tom yelled, blood sputtering out of his mouth as he spoke. I grimaced at him as Oliver turned around and gave me a short glance. "Tell my brofer wha' a complete douche bag 'e is!"

"Fuck yeh Tom!" Oliver screamed back, jerking himself forward.

"Fuck yeh Oli!" His brother yelled back, blood still flying out of his mouth. "I can't even believe yeh would call 'er a bitch! Yeh must be fuckin' mental!"

"Yeh don't know wha' yer talkin' about!" Oliver retorted, swinging himself around to look at me. He opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something, like he wanted me to defend him, but instead his eyes focused on Josh who was standing awkwardly behind me. "Yeh," he glowered, his accent thick and heavy.

"Oliver,' I tried, taking a step forward to stand in-between them.

It all happened too fast for my brain to process. Oliver somehow managed to wriggle his way out of Jona's grip, push me aside and onto the couch, grab Josh by his tee-shirt, and deliver one clean, hard punch directly at his nose. He didn't get the chance to do further damage because all of the boys quickly descended on him, grabbing him and literally dragging him into the back lounge.

"Oi, what the fuck was that?!" Josh exclaimed as Lee helped him to his feet. I bit my lip awkwardly and stood up, slowly making my way to Josh. Blood was literally pouring out of his nose, and he was holding it doing his best to stop the flow. I quickly grabbed a tee-shirt that was lying on the couch and held it under his chin, catching the blood that was falling.

"'re yeh okay, Blair?" Lee asked in a small voice, placing his hand on my arm lightly.

"I'm fine," I nodded, though I was clearly shook up. He sent me a small apologetic smile and walked past me, retreating to the back room where Ian and Matt Kean had taken Oliver.

"'oly shit," Matt Nicholls breathed. "Tha' was fuckin' insane."

I glanced at him uneasily as I brushed passed him and quickly gathered a cloth and a few paper towels from the kitchen area. I wet the paper towels and then walked back over to Josh, handing him the cloth and then giving Tom the wet paper towels. Blood had dripped down both of their shirts, Josh's stain much worse than Tom's, but Tom's bad none the less. I instructed them both to take their shirts off and they did so as I filled up the sink with warm water and some dish soap. As I did my best to rid their tee-shirts of the blood stains they had collected, the events that occurred just a few moments prior had flashed in my head.

From what I could gather the boys had somehow found out Oliver called me a bitch, though I wasn't sure if they knew why, Tom must've confronted him about it and a fight ensued. I knew alcohol had played a big part in the fight as well. I had known Oliver and Tom for a long time, and though they sometimes got into small sibling tussles, I had never known either of them to be that violent with each other. I mean, sure sometimes they got into their stupid little wrestling matches but that was nothing compared to actually striking each other in the face.

"What happened?" I finally asked with a long sigh as I raked my fingers through my now matted hair. Jona, Matt, Lee, and Flip all exchanged glances as Tom and Josh just sat silently on the couch. "The worst is over, just tell me how it happened," I instructed harshly, already fed up.

"Well Kean told us you came on the bus crying before," Joan began. "And him and Ian both seemed really worried."

"Ian said it 'ad somefhing ta do wiff Oli an' we tried to say somefhing to 'm before tha show but 'e jus' ignored it," Matt added. "We all were tryin' ta fhink of wha' coulda 'appened an' by tha time Tom finally said somefhing ta Oli he was proper pissed."

"So they just started yelling back and forth at each other and next thing you know Oli just punched Tom right in the mouth!" Flip explained with wide eyes. "It was fucking crazy."

"So then Ian tried to get in the middle of it, and neither of them would listen and Tom punched Oli back and they screamed some more and then you came on the bus," Jona finished the story with a rather confused look. "I don't really know what happened."

My eyebrows were knitted as my lips formed into a straight line and I just sighed again. It was all I could do. Instead of just sucking it up like a big girl, I cried, Matt and Ian saw me, and now three people I cared for were all hurt. Because of me. Surprisingly enough though, I didn't feel like crying again. I didn't even feel stressed. In fact, I was oddly calm. This was mostly due in part to the fact that I wasn't exactly sure what had just happened; I was still trying to figure it all out.

"You shouldn't have drank so much," I told Tom in a small voice. His blue eyes trailed up to me and he moved the paper towel away from his mouth.

"'s tour," he shrugged simply.

"So are you happy you punched your own brother in the face?" I inquired, my eyebrow raised.

"'e deserved it!" He exclaimed loudly, leaning forward and throwing his arm in the direction of the back lounge. "Yeh of all people should know tha'!"

"No one had to get hit," I mumbled feebly. Tom groaned and threw himself back against the couch, sinking low into the seat and muttering inaudible phrases. I sighed again myself, settling and chewing on my bottom lip as I waited for a few more answers. And just as I started to do that, a loud noise came from the back lounge, followed by a few loud yells, and then Ian was walking towards me.

"Yeh need ta go talk to 'm." He was breathing heavily and looked positively out of it. I continued to gnaw on my lip as I peered past him, the worst coming to mind when as I thought about what had gone on back there. "'e's gone mental. I've neva seen 'm like this before."

For Ian, that was saying a lot. Not only for the most obvious reason that he was Oli's father, but because they also happened to be particularly close. They drank a lot together and I was certain Ian had seen Oliver and his absolute worst. Ian telling me he'd never seen his own son so fucking insane before really worried me, and suddenly I was left wondering why I had been volunteered to go talk him down when I was so obviously the cause of all of this trouble.

"But I-"

"'e's already hit Kean twice. 'e's broken tha Xbox-"

"'RE YEH SERIOUS?!" Matt interjected.

"-I fhink yeh can calm 'm down Blair," Ian continued on, completely disregarding Matt's exclamation. "'sides," he grumbled, taking a few long strides over to the fridge and pulling out a beer. "I need ta start drinkin' before I go mental too." I sent Ian a sad smile as kissed me on the head softly. He passed me quickly and then settled in-between Josh and Tom, looking over their injuries.

I walked to the back lounge slowly, unsure of the exact hell I was about to enter. I heard Matt Kean muttering a few things but I couldn't exactly make them out and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I had fallen into this role of mediator my whole life. Since I was a kid I was always the one stuck in the middle of fights, trying my best to see both sides before trying to solve the problem at hand. When I had become Bring Me the Horizon's tour manager it seemed that I was doing it a lot more often. The boys all frequently got into fights and I was usually the one to both stop and solve them. However, I had never been the cause of any problems like I was now. And suddenly I was stressed as I let my knuckles tap against the door lightly. Matt Kean opened the door quickly, sent me a smile, kissed the top of the head much like Ian had, and slipped past me. I took one last long breath and walked into the back lounge, where I was sure impending doom was awaiting me.

Oli was sitting to the right when I walked into the room, his arms crossed as he looked straight forward. I never thought of Oliver as a particularly intimidating person, I mean sure, he had a lot of tattoos and screamed in a band, but he was scrawny and probably one of the nicest people I had ever met. I never had a reason to be afraid of him. But as I eyed him warily as he sat on the couch I couldn’t help but get a little intimidated. His eyes were hard to read, but the phrase “if looks could kill” came to mind.

I cleared my throat, hoping it would get his attention and maybe he would say something first, but it worked to no avail. His eyes never left the wall opposite of him. As I bit my lip and shifted my weight in-between my legs I thought of exactly what I could say to him. Should I try and joke around first? Or maybe be sweet? Should I just get to the point? Or beat around the bush for a bit? Obviously he knew why I was back there, but he wasn’t making this any easier on me. So we both just sort of…existed there for a few awkwardly silent moments. And I couldn’t help but remember earlier in the day, when the silence between us felt so comfortable and I was so thankful we weren’t the kind of people who needed to fill the arm with random chatter to feel at ease around each other. I almost laughed as the thought crossed my mind.

And then I just blurted it out, “So you punched Tom?” I asked. “And Josh?”

“Looks tha’ way,” he mumbled. I cleared my throat again as I slowly lowered myself down next to him. He flinched when my knee brushed against his and I couldn’t help but frown and wish it all wasn’t happening.

“Why?”

“I dunno.”

“You don’t just punch people for no reason, Oliver.”

“I guess I do.”

“No. You don’t.”

“’ow tha fuck would yeh know?” He snapped, his eyes suddenly on mine. I involuntarily gulped as he continued to stare me down. Oh yes, he was definitely intimidating.

“Because I know you,” I answered in a small voice. “You’re better than that.”

“There’s a lot yeh don’t know ‘bout meh,” he concluded, rubbing his colorful hands together and setting his eyes back to the wall.

“Oh?”

“I don’t wan’ ta talk ‘bout this, alrigh’?” He asked. “I’m drunk. I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know what else to do, so I just nodded and pushed myself up. I knew pushing him to talk would only make matters worse and I wasn’t about to push his buttons. I had seen a side of his temper I had never witnessed before and although I was sure he would never lay his hands on a woman, much less me, I couldn’t lie and tell you I would feel completely comfortable getting any further under his skin than I already was.

I just didn’t know anything anymore.