So Easy To Love

I wasn't a confrontational person. In fact, I was the exact opposite. I more or less ran in the opposite direction when I sensed an argument arising. It could of have something to do with my chronic anxiety but I think it had more to do with the fact I didn't know how to defend myself. I wasn't witty when it came to arguments. I just got so flustered by the fact someone was yelling at me my brain just short of shuts down.

Which is why it was so hard to try and resolve whatever issue had been created between Oliver and I. I wasn't about to walk up to him and say something I knew would turn into a fight, and he seemed to have no interest in even glancing in my direction. He seemed to have a hard time glancing in anyone's direction really. His temper seemed to be even worse than I had remembered, and everything seemed to set him off. Tension hung around the bus like a thick cloud and it was almost hard to breathe when we were on the road. Then there was no escaping from the awkwardness than had enveloped a place that had once been considered the life of the party at Warped.

Josh seemed to be the only person Oliver wasn't annoyed with, which I just couldn't wrap my head around. If anything, I thought that they would be the ones feuding the most, if not the only ones, but instead he seemed to be upset with everyone else. Or maybe it was just me. Maybe I just made everything bad. So because I couldn't figure anything out, I just sort of gave up and went about my day just doing my job.

"You guys have interviews all morning, a signing at 2:30, and then your set is at 7:45. Two of the interviews will be on the bus, one will be at the AP tent, and one will be right by the entrance to the venue. I want you at all of your interviews at least ten minutes early. I gave you all a sheet of paper with the times on them, don't lose it please. Tom I'll need you to help me tech, and Flip, I got in that new shipment of shirts so I'll help you carry them out to the tent." I spoke quickly and without looking up from the schedule I was looking at. When I finally did take a breath and look up, the boys were all staring at me with blank faces.

I let my eyes scan over each of them, and when I finally settled on Oliver's face I found that he was already staring back at me. I immediately felt uncomfortable under his gaze, but I couldn't turn away. I knew everyone else on the bus was eyeing us warily, waiting for Oliver to explode or for me to have an anxiety attack. Everyone was always so on edge now, walking on egg shells, waiting for the inventible fight/discussion to come. Soon enough though, Oliver stood up, shoved his schedule into his pocket, and briskly made his way to the door.

"Yer like a crazy person, Blair," Lee informed me.

"I'm just organized," I sighed, lamely defending myself.

"Yeh were neva like this before," Kean said.

"I just gotta be good at my job if nothing else is going right, ya know?" I forced a small smile and then exited the bus. I heard it shut again when I was a few strides away and I knew someone had followed me, I just hoped they wouldn't try and force me into a conversation.

"Blair," Tom spoke softly as he grabbed my hand and held it in his own sloppily. "Yeh've gotta just ignore 'm," he told me. "'e's proper mental. An' takin' tha role of "broodin' lead singa" ta a whole 'notha level."

I laughed lightly at Tom's statement and let myself lean into him slightly as we walked. Ian had left a few days ago and had left Tom with strict orders to watch over me and to comfort me when Oli was acting insane. It wasn't like Tom didn't already do these things, but I think it was nice to know Ian cared about me just as much as at least one of his sons did.

I think what bothered me the most about this whole situation is that I didn't know how to fix it. Hell, I didn't even really know what caused it. At first I had thought it was the whole Josh thing, but once Oliver and Josh seemed to get along like nothing happened I was very confused. Had I known exactly what was bothering Oliver so much, I probably would have fixed it. Or at least tried to.

"It's fine Tom," I tried to brush it off.

"No it's not," he stated bluntly.

"Well, I'm trying to pretend it is, alright? Don't rain on my parade," I gave him a half smile and he just laughed lightly, slinging his arm over my shoulders as we walked together.

Fast forward two hours later I was sitting behind the camera as I unenthusiastically watched the third interview the band had to do. Tom was sitting next to me occupied by his iPhone, and I was getting a little tired of hearing the same questions over and over.

"So what about girlfriends? Are you guys seeing anyone or are you single?" The female interviewer asked. She couldn't be more than 18 and was clearly enthralled by the fact she got to interview the band. She did her best to be off beat and amusing, but she just ended up falling flat because her questions were so generic and the boys were getting tired of answering them. This question though, hadn't been asked yet. It was always and iffy subject too. The boys rarely ever told the truth when asked, either opting to joke around with the question or just flat out lie. I immediately looked up and a small smile settled on my lips as I watched Matt Nicholls tell her that he was dating Tom, Matt Kean speak fondly of his girlfriend back home, Lee just shrug, and Jona jokingly hit on the girl which made her cheeks automatically flush. And then there was Oliver. It was clear he was trying hard to put on a happy face and smile, but it was also clear he was forcing and faking it. I wasn't sure if anyone who had conducted the interviews noticed, but to everyone who knew him well it was obvious.

"Girls aren' worf it," he said, his voice deadpan. His eyes briefly caught mine and it was then I knew I had to talk to him.

I wasn't a fan of brooding Oliver. It caused tension on the bus and made me feel accountable. For what, I wasn't sure, but every time I looked his way I felt his odd pang of guilt in my stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up Amanda and all his other ex's the other day. Or maybe that Lizzie girl did something horrible to him he hadn't told anyone about, maybe Amanda was trying to contact him again. There were a million reasons he could have been down, and I just wanted to fix it. I wanted everything to go back to the way they used to be. And as a tour manager, I felt that it was my duty to make things right.

Ever since I had gotten the job, I felt an odd sense of security over the guys. Like I was always supposed to take care of them and make sure nothing bad happened to them. And up until now I think I had done a pretty good job of that. Aside from a few random and futile fights, and a legal battle that was ultimately dropped, everything had gone effortlessly. I was never forced to deal with a fight that lasted several days, or physical violence against friends and brothers. This tension and divergence was all new to me, but I was hell-bent on making things right again. And once the interview was over and the girl had left the bus, I followed Oliver in the back lounge and forced him to look at me.

"We can't keep living like this. It's slowly tearing things apart and driving everyone crazy," I informed him. "So just tell me what's bother you. I want to help." He smiled softly and even let a small laugh escape his lips. He motioned for me to sit down next to him and I quickly obliged, giddy that things were already off to a good start.

"Yeh always wan' ta 'elp Twitch, tha's why yer so good ta 'ave around," he said softly.

"So let me help you, tell me what's wrong Oli," I said soothingly. I slowly inched closer to him and grabbed one of his large hands in my own, holding it and resting our clasped hands on my lap.

"It's nofhing really," he said awkwardly. "Jus'...I was drunk I guess. I shouldn've hit Tom an' Josh. I was jus' angry tha' everyone was attackin' me an' I snapped. I'm sorry," he said in a much smaller voice. "For everyfhing. For hittin' 'em, for callin' yeh a bitch, for actin' 'orrible tha pas' few days."

"People have bad days, weeks, months, whatever. It's okay. But you can't just blow up like that every time something goes wrong."

"I know I overreacted," he shrugged. "'m sorry Twitch," he smiled his perfect boyish smile.

And then everything was okay. He wrapped me in a tight hug, rubbed my back, and placed a small kiss on my forehead all before walking out of the back lounge and announcing to everyone that he was making a round of drinks. It all happened so fast, so easily. The conversation I had been dreading for almost a week, the conversation I was sure was going to be horrible and explosive was tame and lasted a mere two minutes. All of the dirty looks, the snide comments, the silent treatment, I had been so fucking worried and all I was really in for was a quick apology and an even quicker explanation.

And the longer I sat back there and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how not okay this all was. Oliver couldn't just walk around punching people in the face, calling people names, and then acting completely insufferable for the next few days after and just expect to be let off with a simple, I'm sorry. That just wasn't okay. But let's be honest, I knew I wasn't going to say anything. This apology was going to fix everything, even if it bothered me slightly. And I'd rather be slightly perturbed by Oliver's half assed excuse than have him act the way he had been acting for the past few days.

I just hoped this wouldn't all blow up in my face.